He’s my muse,
Maybe he’s forgotten,
Unable to feel
My arms,
How I’ve wrapped them
So many times,
Squeezing tighter,
Within my mind.
He’s the attraction
I adore,
The lust upon my tongue,
Yet I cannot reach him.
Left.
Aching with want
Living amongst the borderline,
Of am I enough.
I yearn for his trust,
As he longs for my mind,
If I give it away –
Then what?
He’s mine – my wish,
Like a daisy chain around
My neck; a gift.
I’d wear him with pride,
If he’d ask.
I’m in love with being in love.
There’s nothing I have visioned for myself that excites me more.
I hear laughter
Eye squints as their sparkle escapes
I feel that upon my face.
Silly grins
Dimples no longer hidden within
The true marking of contentment
And its offer of grace.
The best of friends welcoming
Challenges – happy endings -frustrations.
Holding hands, connecting spirits
Building a firm foundation.
Take me there, widen the span of
Love’s true existence
Birth the eve of beginnings
And wrap me in the arms of the one
Who needs me.
My desire to write poetry,
has been affected by your presence,
the same fevered passion exists
yet, its been reduced to your name
maybe even a letter in the end
my muse, this pandora’s box, the new beginning and my end is with you.
So come the rushing waters of what might one day be,
bring on the swirls of passionate winds,
stretch the legs of workers in the trenches of this world,
my love breathes in these,
i am because of you.
I watched tangerine turn into innocent sanguine,
while thinking of you, and
thoughts of how I want an “us” to be.
Feathered blues, birthed since before noon,
caused aquamarine streaks
as twilight breathed – were you with me?
My neck felt a breath, my back the push of a finger;
the moment continues to linger.
Whispers in the depth of night
Whites of our eyes shining bright
Lips in movement
Words offer our reality
Conversing in shallow tunes
Touch, leaning into the heat of you
Expressing thoughts; gift to thee
Without fear, fate leads the he and she of our bonding.
Merry Christmas Eve –
My presence hasn’t been here for quite some time and for that I’m truly sorry, yet I know y’all understand.
it is his love i seek
his attention for which
i plea,
my sun, all the stars
in my make believe,
are shining again,
i’m suddenly awake,
and know just who i need.
curvy in multiple places
my soft spots will be
a favorite
twilight peeking through
i do wish to be with you
Amidst the clutter
Of my mind
I recognize who and what I love.
Clinging to primitive, and desire,
I retreat
Into wooded respite
As I normally do.
Surviving reality
A conscious decision every day, yet
Eventually every tree will fall.
How do I listen for one more?
i imagine the comfort
like warmth snuggled in
under layers of protection
surrenderer me with victorious him
daylight taken with pleasure
my body with so much to give
leaves the master of my affection
a playground he accepts as his
a muse so confident
doubt unable to live –
stifled and erased, becomes
a union of dominion and submissive
Love calls: come quick
Run over, and then in
Search wildly for love’s existence,
For trust, in the end.
Listen close,
Know this is where together begins.
i could get lost inside you,
graciously forever, often
yearning for the
direction
you show,
beauty
you create,
protection
you offer,
mystery
you provide,
colors
you inspire,
dreams
you conduct.
without them, i
wouldn’t know where to begin
and incredibly certain
i wouldn’t want to.
I watch the doves dip and weave
Chasing one another,
Yet I grieve
For a life I’ve dreamt about
Since I was a child,
In a grey, aging, house
There were giggles
And four children the cause,
Despite their loss
Of the everyday normalcy
Of Mom being near,
Nothing making sense, life unclear
If love exists, breathes, you say
Will it fulfill my wish,
Not run – at the top of my list
So sovereign Cardinals in my view
Standing watch, yearning
Might keep me from melancholy.
It was always okay
For me to be me
To tend to others
And giggle like i was free
It was always a good time
If i intently gave my attention
To those surrounding
Eager for affection
The smile i offered
It was always a lie
Unseen; no one who mattered
Tied up inside
Eyes not yet connected
Souls searched routinely,
Understanding
Inevitable,
You breathe, I breathe.
Reconcile
Our belonging,
Lead me
it’s how you sound
in your constant
here I am,
I’m not leaving
lap of consistency,
that turns me into
a believer.
even the glisten within
total darkness proves
you are you,
as swirls reach out
to touch me,
to quench.
I won’t miss the doubt,
fear
or the hiding.
complete submersion
into you,
heals.
maybe writing this out will help me compartmentalize my thoughts
there are so many distractions as of late
The new year came in with swords drawn and a battle ensued
one I’m currently within
I’ve been rude to those around me when it was never my intention
maybe inside a daydream isn’t where I should reside, only making life worse
tangible moments, proof they exist, is where my heart currently lives
Faith begins and ends my day, serving makes sense inside my head
an inability to understand is fine, just accept me for who I am
all praise honor and glory be, yes to the Father,
and then it’s he.
He who is out there, slowly keeping pace
would begin and end my moments, but that’s only what I need.
no desire left to chase, fearful of ending back in a place where questioning motive and truth controls my each and every day.
does peace exist? are relationships worth creating…
me who’s father was gone too much, a mother who left all together
how do I believe this isn’t the pattern,
it’s happened, one after the other.
leaning into the belief, if love is meant to be
easing into a life alone, tending to sheep and children who are all too soon grown, where will I go?
Listening for the answers I know my God has planned, I pray I don’t mess this up
looking down at my empty hands.
knowing each and every piece given to me for care,
is one I’m made for and a joy to prepare.
the moment our entire world
shrinks and becomes
every touch you wish had been
possible
and pray it isn’t too late
to reach out for them
Continue reading
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister 