a dove who coos without being asked, annoys me
this continuous reverberation
creates a rhythm
and my eyes roll.
the joy with which he calls
slaps me across the face,
he stops as if he knows
and I laugh, recross my legs and continue to rock this chair.
I flew in in the dark of night,
saw the lights of a city to where I’d never been.
In to a state I’d not once seen,
and a part of the country still foreign to me.
Welcomed with open arms, yet I could not feel them.
Searching aimlessly by my own accord,
instead of submitting to the joys of freedom;
ones offered by just stepping off the plane.
And when I left, I called and told him about the cookies.
this morning’s noises echo
facts of summertime dwindling.
a crow’s call to advance
spur last night’s crickets,
still rubbing within the window well.
my heart swells with hope
which confuses me,
and the neighbor lady sweeps her deck.
he found me sitting, legs crossed
black leggins with a bit cut out
just where attraction begins
he smelled all around me,
even the book I was holding.
he offered static pause so I could watch, his energy and legends felt deep within me.
I wasn’t as terrified as most
would have been
his presence came through peacefully
and i found myself worshiping him.
looking back he wandered off slowly, maybe
sensing the aroma of another or giving up on me
and I was left to assume
which is never good.
I know you’re here
I saw you wink at me through
the spider web over by the clothesline
in the leaves floating gently in the breeze
falling down into dew filled grass
upon the wings of the monarch
your smile sparkles
and the potting shed sits empty another day
you would know I’ve sat within the thrush of nature
my soul is joyous there.
this cool fall evening offers a melody and my mind plunges into creative fidgeting.
my eyes wander from hues of verdant to hints of Autumn’s tangerine,
but it’s the obvious sounds of industry
that bring you closer to me.
Take a hint, Lady!
When will she ever learn?
Evidence seemed simple enough,
the airwaves were quiet;
he’d gone away:
the man knew what he wanted – she wasn’t her.
your glow is more of a tone
and upon me
your hold is mounting.
I shiver as you enter,
your rumble a possession
of what my soul is lacking
and I beg you, come.
As the cardinal calls, ” Here. Here. Here.” Over and over again until I stop and look up into the tree and we connect.
This I get and the pleasure is indescribable.
5/2/2020
I’m supposed to walk more
sit less
prepare the house
eat fresh
continue to chase the kids
enjoy the mess
except,
I mean, yet
I’ve lost myself
within this 24/7
But I love them, so…
pulled grass from the flowerbeds
today
few weeds too
robins kept me company
introduced them to some
of my worm friends
not a great day for the worms
the robins almost giggled
she won’t be the girl again
again seems too hard
over worked,
redundant
fake
those 1,000 pieces
lost
looked over,
couldn’t really be her now
tragedy, she may never have actually been.
planted peonies today
pink
took the leftovers
he was going to mow them down
maybe they will like
my house
see’em next summer, or maybe I’ll be surprised
spring is your season, silly girl
smile a little, won’t kill ya,
lost it some time ago.
business as usual
get to work, gonna be a beautiful day.
Day three of trying to buy eggs, maybe longer.
Probably
Still none in sight
However,
I got a call from my neighbor, her boyfriend has good news
His girls are layin’
Sounds like I’ll have eggs soon,
So much for leaving the county.
exposing canvas
materials congregate
yesterday lingers
I’m reflecting today, I have a haiku set to post but I feel compelled to share instead.
might I come for awhile,
little bitty dreams
of yesterday
have returned.
crisp air has forged
a wool blanket, yet
within you I’d feel protected.
air has freedom I’m unsure
of, terrifying ideas
too many possibles,
too many versions of me
compete.
your walls,
could bring me peace,
looking up …
the distance makes
me dizzy.
Milestones met
at the start of the sun,
give it two years,
the daily will be done,
and then
what?
Spent the day in the city with my daughter.
We parked downtown, walked for what felt like miles, the early hustle smelled delightful.
Saw colors in every direction.
We laughed, we sampled stores out of our comfort zone, drinks, food, books, music and art, as well. Our eyes sparkled in intrest.
We danced through walkways, giggled past what we knew we’d never understand, and held hands.
We reintroduced ourselves to chopsticks via YouTube and introduced ourselves to the sushi bar & spicy tuna.
We mused how shy girls could ever possibly find their voice, and teared up when the Columbian bracelets we admired were made for those who needed to learn how to communicate.
We wear matching aquamarine stone bracelets now, and thanked fate for bringing our conversation, in the car ride over, full circle.
We painted and sang without a care in the world. Allowing who we are a place of comfort – us, showing our little girl.
Busy streets we drove on and found parking within offered an exciting challenge,
But something changed inside of me as my daughter confessed,
“Momma, look at all we did just us – no men.
No brother, no daddy, …”
At 15 she felt empowered and ready for another adventure to begin.
Of course, my daughter, you are right. I’ve taught you how to live.
I mused quietly to myself, yes, yet again…
Just wait.
One day you’ll feel your hand within his,
or its warmth guiding you at the small of your back,
you’ll stand a bit taller with his palm holding your elbow, as you move along,
his stature in true protection will leave you in awe,
and his voice in your ear, at the end of the night, the one making up a lullaby song,
will be the reason doing life alone feels so wrong.
