– C.S. Louis
– C.S. Louis
summer view for sale
passing through nowadays
golden hues melting
You reside on protective winds,
Waves she won’t honestly understand; and been denied.
Bringing peace to bruised souls deemed worth saving.
Left early to her own devices,
She questions helpful hands
Prefers avoiding disappointment, yet failed.
Forced to believe she’s meant to be alone,
Soul searching required, and left to wonder
Why life is the way it is.
To be left here, alone with thoughts, is a risk submitted to, but then doubt creeps in around me and one ponders if there is strength enough.
Yet, it is true. We’re made to endure.
Who do I think I am? Why do I think I matter? When did I decide I was more important than another?
To see beyond myself in order to rest my mind onto what will probably occur, is torture, I think. Why would I force myself into a mess before it’s time? Am I looking to intercede, possibly control or even wish the reality of the situation away?
No. I can’t imagine a life without.
What I need feels right inside. Am I wrong?
To want with all one could muster, yet sense it may never be, confines me.
I sense myself becoming that guarded individual I know all too well. Disappointment teaches and somehow I need to figure out how to grow.
To be open to the plan waiting for me.
I willingly prepare for my days ahead, and begin listening to words I’ve felt over and over recently.
Put this dream away. There isn’t an answer.
sojourner living inside
Every single day
Is a struggle
I’ll need him
When I wake from this nightmare
I’ve found myself in a state of reflection, yet again. Yes. I know. Do I ever move forward? We’ll see.
He’s my muse,
Maybe he’s forgotten,
Unable to feel
How I’ve wrapped them
So many times,
Within my mind.
He’s the attraction
The lust upon my tongue,
Yet I cannot reach him.
Aching with want
Living amongst the borderline,
Of am I enough.
I yearn for his trust,
As he longs for my mind,
If I give it away –
He’s mine – my wish,
Like a daisy chain around
My neck; a gift.
I’d wear him with pride,
If he’d ask.