Where I Went Wrong

I flew in in the dark of night,
saw the lights of a city to where I’d never been.


In to a state I’d not once seen,
and a part of the country still foreign to me.


Welcomed with open arms, yet I could not feel them.


Searching aimlessly by my own accord,
instead of submitting to the joys of freedom;


ones offered by just stepping off the plane.

And when I left, I called and told him about the cookies.

Assumption

he found me sitting, legs crossed
black leggins with a bit cut out
just where attraction begins

he smelled all around me,
even the book I was holding.
he offered static pause so I could watch, his energy and legends felt deep within me.
I wasn’t as terrified as most
would have been
his presence came through peacefully
and i found myself worshiping him.

looking back he wandered off slowly, maybe
sensing the aroma of another or giving up on me
and I was left to assume

which is never good.

Shelter

might I come for awhile,
little bitty dreams
of yesterday
have returned.
crisp air has forged
a wool blanket, yet
within you I’d feel protected.
air has freedom I’m unsure
of, terrifying ideas
too many possibles,
too many versions of me
compete.
your walls,
could bring me peace,
looking up …
the distance makes
me dizzy.

Life Ever After

Spent the day in the city with my daughter.

We parked downtown, walked for what felt like miles, the early hustle smelled delightful.

Saw colors in every direction.

We laughed, we sampled stores out of our comfort zone, drinks, food, books, music and art, as well. Our eyes sparkled in intrest.

We danced through walkways, giggled past what we knew we’d never understand, and held hands.

We reintroduced ourselves to chopsticks via YouTube and introduced ourselves to the sushi bar & spicy tuna.

We mused how shy girls could ever possibly find their voice, and teared up when the Columbian bracelets we admired were made for those who needed to learn how to communicate.

We wear matching aquamarine stone bracelets now, and thanked fate for bringing our conversation, in the car ride over, full circle.

We painted and sang without a care in the world. Allowing who we are a place of comfort – us, showing our little girl.

Busy streets we drove on and found parking within offered an exciting challenge,

But something changed inside of me as my daughter confessed,

“Momma, look at all we did just us – no men.

No brother, no daddy, …”

At 15 she felt empowered and ready for another adventure to begin.

Of course, my daughter, you are right. I’ve taught you how to live.

I mused quietly to myself, yes, yet again…

Just wait.

One day you’ll feel your hand within his,

or its warmth guiding you at the small of your back,

you’ll stand a bit taller with his palm holding your elbow, as you move along,

his stature in true protection will leave you in awe,

and his voice in your ear, at the end of the night, the one making up a lullaby song,

will be the reason doing life alone feels so wrong.