Grandpa

Rest In Peace

Today is going to be a hard day. We’re grateful to be together and we want to thank you for being here with us.

When dad asked if any of us wanted to speak my siblings looked at me, knowing I might just agree if they encouraged me enough.
Earlier this week I decided I’d better get my thoughts
down in preparation for a service but they didn’t arrive. Last night at 10:30 my words finally found me.

Grandpa had a son who
arrived every morning for coffee – a confidant –
a daughter who knew the best time
to call for a long chat, – best of friends – and a son
who made the best pancakes he’d ever
had – a companion.

Do I talk about harvest, a good coupon for the grocery store or hearty breakfast food? None. These three knew their father. But did we…

All I could think of when I heard the news was how well Grandpa massaged Grandma’s feet with peppermint lotion every night in the living room. I think that sticks with me even today as a beautiful reminder of how precious
love is but I knew there was more of the man I wanted to share today.

I guess you could say we were the first four of his eight grandchildren. The Nebraskans –
first ones to test his nerves, to make him chuckle –
in a way only grandpa’s do – and the first to ruin much of what he probably told
us to stay away from. We were the first four to eat all of his M&Ms – even the
ones hidden in the basement fruit room.

The next group of four grandchildren should thank us for helping Grandpa relax. Did he knock on the table harder or softer while playing cards with you guys? A man of few words and even less patience for shenanigans during card playing. Fairly certain it was a softer knock paired with a twinkle in his eye.

His two Kansas Girls, just down the street and his two
Colorado Boys, who loved fishing just as much as he did – you four were his pride and joy.

We know for certain, as a retired Grandpa, he loved watching you grow up. His perfected Grandpa chuckle was all thanks to you and his opportunity to finally be there for his loved ones activities.

We feel pretty confident Grandpa Willard taught us all how to work hard. If there
was daylight then there was time to weed the garden, move a water hose or tend to a flower bed. Grandpa ran the elevator and not a soul worried about how it was done. Grandpa always
knew how to do things the right way.

Grandpa taught us to enjoy the thrill of the ride.
A master at the wheel, he
often took time to drive us
for pizza. Pooches seemed to be his happy place. I can remember the pep
in his step when it was time for a good slice of pizza or the largest ice cream cone you’d ever see. When we
were kids, whether it was a trip for pizza, ice cream or supper in Denver, Grandpa
always delivered.

Mostly, we remember how serious Grandpa Willard took his family responsibility. Not a one of us ever felt neglect or concern for our safety with Grandpa near. He loved his family. The joy across his face was something we all vetted for. Making Grandpa proud was quite an accomplishment. His expectations were to do our best, don’t back down and remember to take care in what we were put in charge of.

Grandpa Willard was proud of us all. The hand tap, the adoring eye contact and the tight hugs proved it. We watched him love his children, Grandma,
and Dorothy this way. His love meant the world to all of us. There wasn’t much he missed or forgot. It may have
looked like we weren’t listening, Grandpa,
but we were – I promise.

Grandpa, when we got to your house yesterday you weren’t sitting in your kitchen chair waiting for us to pull in to the driveway, or looking for the prettiest finches in the backyard. You weren’t in your chair in the living room either. Its gonna take some time to get used to our new view.

We’ll do what we can to continue your legacy of hard work, a little fun and a lot of love for your great-grandchildren.
We love you.

P.S. Love you all too,

Aud ♡

Your Power

When days drag, here in the office alone and the optimism is low,

There’s this; your quick video of the open road.

My smile begins across the eyes, a sparkle creates a giggle, my mind senses your truth.

I’m not there but I feel the energy you often exude.

A tractor trailer rolls on down the road, spit causes the shine, and your power is felt by everyone as you drive along by.

Yet, Little Deuce Coupe, is the tune you’re singing, tapping your cowboy boot against the pedal: a musical pair unlike any other.

And I grin, because I’m proud of you, who you are, and wish I was riding along, Big Brother.

Nebraska’s Emerging Writers – An Anthology

Two years ago I was approached by a publishing company and asked if I would be interested in submitting a short story for an anthology being created by Z Publishing House.

I submitted a story I had shared many years ago and it was accepted.

The head space I was in at the time didn’t allow for traditional excitement over the process, nor did it increase my personal productivity for having been asked.

When the anthology shipped to my house, instead of authentic joy over my name being included with other writers, I chose to pretend the publishing didn’t happen and hid my face.

I didn’t and don’t receive compensation for having been included, however, this process started something else entirely.

Soon, friends, very soon. ♡

Passion

The author wrote as if she had met the one I crave, finding him perfectly secure, genuine and honest before her.

She noticed the same details as I, and it shatters me to realize someone sees in him what I do and she may have the chance at a forever.

Which means I’m expendable, just one in hundreds of options.

Ha! Not that I ever stood a chance, I knew the minute we met he’d never settle for less than perfection.

He wouldn’t need to, because he was capable on his own and I added nothing he craved.

In Her Nature

*cardinal calling “here, here”
*cardinal calling “here, here”

Me: I hear you.
*cardinal calling “here, here”
*cardinal calling “here, here”

Me: Where are you?
*standing outside looking up about to get into the car*

*cardinal calling “here, here”
*cardinal calling “here, here”

Me: There you are up in my tree!
*two cardinals fly away happily*

Me: I see you! *calling out in a squeal*

My Young Redhead: *exasperated, yet looking*
Momma, they aren’t five year olds!?!

Me: *sighs* I sounded like Snow White, didn’t I?

My Young Redhead: *giggles*
No, just you being you, Momma

Me: *smiles* Not so bad, is it?

…and our eyes continued to shine.

The Beholder

Driving the farthest eastern reaches of the Sandhills as this scene beckoned. Was it the water, sunset or hills calling names? The topography, a sensuous mastermind, plays within thoughts while memories flood the present.

How dare it.

Just as beauty sets in, and atop the already gorgeous scene, to share this – would have been the only cherished wish left to whisper. A hand held. Hard kiss, even tug of the hair and a reminding of the natural, even recommended design for an alliance.

Useless comes to mind, but doesn’t it always? Untrustworthy. Less than. Nothing deemed attractive found near not even near, by not just one, but from many.

Wicked is fate as she tosses over another just out of reach, if only the physical qualities found irresistible and encouraged were obtainable by another’s remnants. Would life continue to offer beauty with hopes someone might see?

Sprucing Up The Place

deteriorating wall
color combinations weak
periscope, maybe

***

A few housecleaning details for y’all today. I am aware it is Friday, and nobody likes cleaning on the edge of a weekend, but I needed to say thanks for all the recent follows. AND thank you for not giving up on my poetry.

The giggles are returning which is always a good sign. I’ve been writing a lot, but mostly I’ve been working. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. This past year has been incredibly busy with churches closed for many.

When the inevitable occurred it made my day job 100% harder.

I have become quite familiar with bells, whistles, bright lights, more technology, post offices, zoom, louder microphones and standing on my head. I’ve never been accused of having a case of “the look at me’s” so you can imagine what having to do so did for my soul.

My creativity took a beating as did all my relationships.

I’ll be sprucing up the place and working on updating my pages, as I focus on getting things ready for an announcement many have waited years to hear.

Find beauty in your weekend my loves,

Aud

Our Story Is Over

Not a simple fix is it?
Lost somewhere between,
I’ll figure this out,
And just let it be.

Frustration
Manipulation
Disgust

This and it, being you,
Or us, and what didn’t work,
Even after trying.

Lies
Making up
Continually

Long gone are the days,
Of make believe,
Playing house,
And happily ever after.

Adulthood
Responsibilities
Teamwork

Following behind answers,
I couldn’t seem to catch,
But knew wouldn’t solve us anyway.

Relief
Understanding
Forgiveness

Today became the end,
Our story is over
And I’m free to begin again.