Q – Quell

Where did you go
The deep hum, of your voice
Followed me in, but didn’t
Retreat along side of me
When I fled. My expectation
Wasn’t fair, I know.
The work is hard,
Battle even more so.
Are you still fighting,
Does the war continue,
Did strength
Defeat in there?
Soft hands still covering
Fragile heart. Fate leads
a Warrior. Love will win.
Strong.

Walk With Me

I recently submitted my poem for Michael and Neha’s #PoetsForPeace project. I thought I would share it here, as well.

Thank you for asking me to be a part of your global outcry, for giving poet’s a place for communion and for believing in the fact that words have power.

May this campaign bare fruit universally.

Blessings to you both,

Audrey Dawn

***

Walk with me

With purpose

We shall not walk alone

Walk with me 

Beside me

There is nowhere else

To go

Walk with me

Eyes forward

See what I see

Walk with me

Beside me

There is nowhere else

To go

Walk with me

Please

I crave peace within

Walk with me

Beside me

There is nowhere else

To go

Walk with me

And feel my hand

In vision those to come

Walk with me

Beside me

There is nowhere else 

To go

Walk with me

United

Our touch remains the same

Walk with me

Beside me

There is nowhere else

To go

Walk with me

Be mindful

Our burdens not the same

Walk with me

Beside me

There is nowhere else

To go

Walk with me

We’ll listen

Hearts open wide

Walk with me

Beside me

There is nowhere else

To go

Brace Yourselves…She’s Feeling Chatty

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One of my favorite guys, Mr. Mark Bialczak of What Will I Write About Next, used the sneak approach to get me to accept the Liebster Award he offered out a few weeks ago. How’d he do it? He asked the right questions.

I admit to being caught off guard by Mark’s nod in my direction, but I have no good explanation as to why. You see, we talk weekly via our blog posts and quite rightly enjoy each other’s company, so it shouldn’t have been such a shock. How did we meet? I can’t remember, but we bonded a year ago over nicknames. He likes using them and so do I.

Continue reading

She Waits – An Excerpt

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With the alpine topography of Jasper Lake Trail laid out in front of them, and as their long legs created a sort of perimeter around the corners of the map, their hands sought the course Amelia intended. Jake’s experienced fingers traced the highlighted trails she’d researched, or so he assumed.

Not realizing she’d confirmed the route, made her decision and promptly secured her flight to Colorado, Jake prepared himself for a fight.

He wasn’t even supposed to be here, yet he continued to find Amelia, which left her susceptible to his knowledge and his care. Believing he often used his expertise well enough to dissuade her, often times rash decisions.

“Amelia, you’ll have to be part mountain goat to make that climb. Jasper still has snow in June, you know, and it’s March. Imagine what you’ll come across. You’ve got to be rational,” Jake insisted, as he raised his head and settled his eyes on hers, “I won’t let you go alone.”

“You aren’t invited, and you know I’ll be fine. I’m always prepared,” she insisted unable to meet his eyes in return, “and the forecast continues to be clear. Winter has produced nothing to be of serious concern over. You’ll just have to trust me.”

Amelia’s eyes turned back to the map, as her fingers strummed over the top of a mountainous range to the left of her intended trail.

“God, you could light up this room with the sparkle in your eyes. Look at me! Why must you insist on doing everything in your power to disarm my desire to rationalize with you? Just recognize how dangerous this idea of yours is, please,” his voice raising to catch her attention.

“See here? I could easily break for the day just over this pass,” Amelia notes, as her toes tap his in a rhythm of excitement, “I’ve never approached from the east before, but if I do, I’ll have completed my survey and possess enough experience when I’m done to write what I believe to be true.

The research I need for my notes will be complete, but more so the emotional closure, we’re both aware that I long for, will have been met by summer’s end.”

The silence, after her explanation, lived inside the room like a vacant breath needing to find its purpose. Jake kept quiet, as he continued to read the notes she left on the sides of the map she’d obviously looked at with extensive knowledge and complete earnest. Her handwriting that of a lady, and not of the adventurer she repeatedly proved to be, offered an idea. He’d have to strengthen his approach.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her pull her worn out sweatshirt over her head, his stomach knotting as her ponytail swayed to a still once again, after she reached over his leg for pencil. “You’re a frayed mess of a woman, with a devotion to a college alma mater that left you with more questions than answers, you know,” he mumbled to himself.

“You promised me, I understand this area better than you think.” Amelia encouraged, while noticing the twitch in his scowl.

Left now to avoid the breasts she opted to allow to hang free, yet continued to cover by a light tank top, he focused on the star Amelia had circled, quite darkly and well off the selected trail, “What’s this?”

The humidity of the south was more than Jake could handle. No one would choose to live here, as the night proved to suffocate more than the daylight with its thick air. The both of them glowing in their own sweat, as they sat in the middle of Amelia’s outdoor space.

The light buzz of the fan she had circling the air was propped up in the corner of the secluded porch. The anticipation of the cooling blow wasn’t something Jake could concentrate on or he’d think of nothing else. Seems it always took him a few days to get used to the beast that was southern Texas.

~

When Amelia went off the grid the first time, Jake pried into her whereabouts by going to her sisters for guidance. It was obvious they knew where she was, but neither of them understood Amelia’s mind to the degree he presumed they would. He couldn’t understand how Amelia could keep them oblivious to the person she truly was. Amelia should have died years ago, he’d told her sisters, as he hugged them both goodbye, before driving off after an afternoon of explanation over dinner.

Jake didn’t blame Amelia’s sisters for calling her and offering her a head start, if she’d wanted to run from him again. He waited, as her phone rang, for Amelia’s voicemail to pick up, but to his amazement she answered.

“I’m okay,” were the only two tell telling words she uttered before he crumbled a line of contempt at her.

“You aren’t allowed to run out on me! I love you, and this isn’t how you treat someone you love, Amelia, as much as you deny your feelings, I know you love me. You hold on to love, Girl, you don’t push it away, time and time again, without some sort of bruising. You’ve got to talk to someone and there is no one but me, don’t you get it?” Jake shook with fear, even if he disguised it with anger, and wondered if he could get to her that night.

He sank into the leather seat of his pickup and pulled his ball cap down around his hazel eyes, “Talk to me, damn it,” his voice deduced to a whisper, as his body relaxed once again to the image of her somewhere safe.

“I do love you, Jake, even when I didn’t know you, I loved you,” she agreed through a breathless nod, even he, miles away, recognized as authentic.

Amelia had always felt Jake’s presence in her life, she had no way of explaining how or why to anyone, well not yet, anyway. On one hand, who would comprehend such a notion, but more importantly how would she conjure up the vocabulary to express what she believed in wholeheartedly.

Amelia sank into her couch, as she sat holding the phone, while talking to the man she needed more than anyone else in the world. Knowing she would have to invest in a complicated journey to one day allow him to love her back.

~

“What’s what?” Amelia asked, turning her head back towards the map.

“This star, Babe.”

“Oh, just an idea I’m still trying to work the details out on.”

“Why don’t you let me in on what it is you’re planning? I have a feeling I won’t approve.”

“Nah, it truly isn’t on my radar.”

“Bullshit. You wouldn’t have run a rut around it, if it wasn’t constantly on your mind. I know how you think, Amelia. Spill it.”

“Settle down, Cowboy, I haven’t thought about the area since I highlighted the trail. I’ve decided it probably won’t provide any new advice,” she laughed, while patting his right leg. “How’s your scar, by the way?”

“Fine, thanks. Healed just as the doctor said it would, but you know that already. Dr. Tom told me you called the clinic and inquired.”

“Only you would go to a veterinarian for stitches, Jake.”

Only you would try riding an animal we both know wasn’t ready for you. You’re lucky I was able to get you off safely before Tess bucked me off.”

“Ha, yeah, she may never approve of me, huh? You knew better than to take your hands off the reins, tis your fault in the end.”

“My fault? I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if you had landed on those sheared rocks. I was lucky to rid you off my left side and onto the grass before I was thrown off. Anyway, she’s back and my leg is fine. And I’ve not forgotten my question, Lady Luck. What’s the 411 on your destination mark here?”

“Devil’s Thumb Pass, Boone. Initially, I thought I needed to discover what was hidden there, you know. Sit, meditate and listen to the winds. I’ve always considered this place held importance for me, but I can’t quite put my finger on why, so I’ve decided maybe it’s a diverted attempt by me to outrun destiny.”

“Seems likely, I suppose.” Jake made note of the landmark and decided to investigate later on his own. “Do you have any beer? I’m gonna die sitting here, ya know.”

Amelia laughed out loud, “Yes, you big baby, I’ll be right back,” as she slowly stood up and walked inside.

“The way you just got up tells me that you’re in no condition to hike that far,” Jake yelled after her, as his hand fanned her butt, which he was just late in spanking, as she walked past him. Neither one of them were inactive, but young looked further and further away to him, especially tonight as the stifled heat sucked the life from his body.

“Please! I’m fine, that floor, however, is not. Sitting on concrete is miserable,” she called from the kitchen, which offered an open window to the porch, “If you want we can move inside.”

“Forget it. This concrete is the only thing keeping me cool, I think. Your furniture will only absorb my heat. Talk about a cesspool of south that would be, huh?”

“I’d forgotten how much of a baby you were, Handsome,” Amelia giggled, while sitting down beside him, as she handed over a bottle of Dos Equis.

Effortless, seemed to be the only way to describe their connection. He’d fought it at first, quite rightly, but in the end she was just what he needed. She made him work for every authentic moment they shared, and as the months continued he saw more of the real Amelia. Arguably less of the woman who preferred to stay hidden.

She, like a skittish colt, hadn’t made it easy on him, but maybe that’s why he stuck around in the beginning. He knew it was, actually. He loved a good fight of wills and wasn’t accustomed to coming out on the losing end, so when she fought his advances he knew she was worth his time.

Now, a few short months later, he wouldn’t leave, even if she demanded it of him. A memorable year later and he was sunk. She was all that mattered to him, she and this frustrating challenge she’d put upon herself now, yet birthed years ago. Still today, he wondered about the ghosts she chased, and if they would eventually take her from him.

The night air was think with heat, but the breeze did make it bearable, as they drank and sat in comfortable silence. Every once and awhile, Jake would watch her eyes shift to the map and he’d grin as he witnessed the sparkle in her eyes. She loved that old trail, and she promised one day she’d take him along, but until she figured out all her demons, there was no use in his trailing along after Amelia. He’d only be pushed further away, he supposed, but tracking her, now that, he could do, and would, if it meant keeping her safe.

Amelia sighed, while chugging the last of her beer, “That was good.”

“Show off.”

“I can’t help it if you prefer to stare at me rather than drink your beer, something seemingly here to keep you alive, Boone.”

Jake tipped his head back and finished his beer, as well. Letting out a silent belch, “Sugar, nothing I like better than looking at you,” he admitted, as he tossed his bottle over the wall of the porch, just hitting the garbage bin sitting on the other side.

“What?! How’d you do that,” she exclaimed in a fit of laughter, “You’re disgusting,” she chuckled, as she fanned the air.

Jake’s eyes lit up, as he smirked at her, knowing full well she loved everything about him, even if she was horrible about telling him.

“God, you’re such a show off,” she replied, as she swatted him on the back.

Allowing her hand to stay there, Amelia ran her fingers over the ribbed tank Jake had worn under the lightweight red bush shirt he’d striped from hours ago.

She loved the texture of the material and how it felt beneath her fingers, but he knew it, and often times found himself wearing one of those dumb shirts, in an effort to be ready, if she needed him and the feel of that shirt.

“I do what I do, you know,” Jake smirked, as he directed Amelia’s chin up towards him, so he could look into her flirty eyes. “I’m not letting you off that easily. We’ll talk about the importance of that star on your map later. Currently, I have something else on my mind.”

“You’re just going to have to trust me, Boone,” Amelia murmured, as she accepted Jake’s lips on top of hers.

“I do, Baby,” he spoke onto her lips, while claiming her mouth with his and clenching her jaw with his warm hand.

In an effort to erase the time between them for far too long, Jake’s tongue searched Amelia’s mouth for answers, as his right hand found relief in her hair. He knew she was physically okay, and was relieved, but emotionally, he still hadn’t decided if she was stable.

She leaned into his hand, while she kissed him back, allowing her tongue to explore the need his steady pace set, in an effort to calm his mind over an event she’d decided he hadn’t the strength to hear, yet.

Jake devoured each move her tongue made inside his mouth, as his hands held her head in place. His eyes searched hers harshly at first, as if trying to force her to express herself fully, and in an effort to convince her to trust him with everything, as well. Knowing this wasn’t the first time he’d needed her to do so, and succumbing the fact that it also wouldn’t be the last.

He shivered as Amelia’s hands ran over his back, nails creating a sensation, he’d missed between his legs, “I need you,” he sighed, as she crawled over his lap, an effort made to straddle his hips.

“I’m right here.” Amelia placed her warm hands on either side of Jake’s face, as their eyes finally locked. “Make love to me, Jake, and forget about the map.”

Jake’s hands found the ends of Amelia’s tank top, “I envy this top as it glides over your hard nipples,” he murmured, gently pulled it over her long red hair and throwing it aside.

Her fair and freckled breasts finally exposed to the darkness that surrounded them, as the glow of the yellow light on the porch simply advanced the beauty of her body and left him without words. It was then that his primal desires took over, as his eyes claimed hers, and his hand pulled at her ponytail.

***

Happy Valentine’s Day – A hint of the story I’m pushing to finish this spring. Without revealing a lot of what this story includes, please enjoy a bit of why sometimes my poems seem depressing, sexy and a bit too wistful. The second half, if the story seems worthy of your time, can be shared later, via a private post as the content may not be of interest to all my readers. (Yes, they have sex.)

 

Forgotten Mermaid

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He made her laugh,
Helped her relax,
Showed life,
On shelled sand.
Tagged, kindred,
Then one day gone,
Salty air teased,
No longer his pond.
Not too far,
Just this cove,
No sign of his heart,
So the story’s told.
She slowly sank,
Trying a stiff pointed tail,
Proudly swaying,
To no avail.
Not at all planned,
She missed him so,
In the end, confusion,
Azure ocean aglow.
Dirty little open secret,
Upon her fin,
Abandoned,
Tides in question.
Left to swim with fishes,
What’s left of,
His Crimson Mer,
Leaves me speechless.

Complication

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Complicare: fold together;
Com- ‘together’, plicare- ‘to fold’,
Solves the muck.
Life, you find yourself inside,
And moments we all define,
As complicated.

Darling,
Complicated,
I know.

Genuine desire,
Of the unknown,
You needn’t shy away.
Intricate dealings,
Birth torture, it seems,
But, admit it, you want to go.

Darling,
Complicated,
I know.

However, stop and believe,
Trust in the journey,
Watch folded do its part.
Fold your hands in prayer,
Or fold them into mine,
Simply, trust my heart, sublime.

Darling,
Complicated,
I know.

Care must be given,
Situations, require debate,
Reflection, with a higher power.
Peaceful nod, perfect timing,
Let Him determine fate,
Allow me, to calm your mind.

Darling,
Complicated,
I know.

Nothing is ever too hard,
Nor will it be easy,
But, fun, yes, it can be.
Steady the course,
Let destiny control,
Either way, life, still beautiful.

Darling,
Complicated,
I know.

Mary Did You Know

Let the record stand that Audrey Dawn did not back down from a challenge. Two takes…this was the better of the two, so I’m going with it.

I was challenged to spread Christmas cheer by recording a holiday favorite and asking my followers to join in. I’m giving you all a pass with the hopes that you’ll go easy on your comments of my fearless attempt to sing Mary Did You Know.

Boom!

Merry Christmas, Y’all.

I reserve the right to delete this at any time, so you’d better hurry and listen. I have no idea why my entire picture is attached to this recording. My guess is because SoundCloud knows it just adds to my humble moment in the sun. (Newbie!)  Kill me now. Ha. Ha. Ha. Maybe y’all could listen with your eyes shut for your old pal, Aud. Even though you can’t see my eyes I’m bright red at the thought of this post, but I won’t end the year being a chicken sh*t, so here goes nothin’… I’m down to the wire on this, as I was challenged a while back, but better late than never. I had to convince myself I could survive the humiliation I feared. In all honesty, I’ve never felt more safe than right here on my blog, Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister…

For Heaven’s sake spread Christmas cheer or this is all for not!

I think I’m nearly ready for Christmas and I hope you are, as well. I love you, always. ~Aud

Grackle’s Song

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When dried leaves depart,
In submission to the changing wind,
And nothing now makes sense,
Remember we’re all given a plan.
While quiet enough to hear,
And present enough to understand,
We’ll realize sadness, too, is a gift.
Even when the hearts of Grackles,
Sit and wait for a chance to create,
Songs out of screeches and cackles,
Their tune we refuse to consummate.
Yet, we allow it to comfort us within,
Remember, same tree, same devotion,
When leaning into darkness, once again.

Next Time

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Simple poetry,
My prayer, floating free,
Shall work harder,
And stand well enough,
In hopes,
To receive you,
Next time…

A huge thank you to my blogging loyals today, yesterday and tomorrow. Y’all truly make my day with your consistent support. I couldn’t write poetry without you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

I appreciate your understanding, if you haven’t seen me around your blog. Life has been a bit out of sorts. Look for me soon. I love y’all!

Calm Twilight

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Poetic thoughts shatter,
Like glass across a sky of azure.
You arrive on bits of final sunshine,
My mysterious muse.
You capture my presence tonight,
And I feel you inside my wistful soul,
As you voluntarily watch me,
Waiting in the calm twilight.

****
The final line written by, my girl, Morgan. It is no secret that I adore her poetry, so last week when she wrote the line “waiting in the calm twilight” I mentioned being envious, and then there was some banter and a challenge. I’m following through with using her perfect line in my poem tonight, but mine will pale in comparison once you’ve read her Friday Fantasy poem from last week. You’ll see… ♡ Thanks for letting me borrow your words, Morgan.