I Will Remain

I refuse to be
To be the girl who doesn’t
Who dosen’t show you
Show you what and who I am

Who I am, I adore
I adore what makes me, me
Me, me the woman who tries
Who tries to be everything

Be every thing, to everyone
To every one, sadly, I cannot
I cannot be all of perfection
Of perfection, unobtainable, so notice me

Notice me inspite of what I’m not
I’m not the lady I once thought
Once thought who’d always create
Always create the poetry I desire

I desire sharing my soul
My soul aches towards connection
Towards connection I find completeness
Find completeness within myself

Within myself there is growth
Is growth enough for me
For me, it must be
Must be the sun found rising

Found rising outside my window
My window, compass in the kitchen
The kitchen where I sense you
Sense you up against me

Against me and deeply breathing
Deeply breathing in my essence
My essense, an offer only for you
For you, I will remain.

Basically, Just Me

I have nothing else to give
Basically, just me
I have nothing worth any consequence
Basically, just me
I have nothing new
Basically, just me
I have nothing
Basically, just me
Too basic? Maybe.
Or too much me?

***

What I Would Have Shown You

Aud

I dreamt of green,
a place where
I’m not forgotten.
Required
to be me,
writing as easily
as I breathe.
Yet, I wake cautious
clinched fists and
arms wrapping,
teeth clamped
with yellow hues
covering my body,
freezing in how
I’m seen.
maybe dreamland
is my preferred
reality,
I never said healthy.
Avoiding
the discovery of red,
as it would, obviously,
kill me.
So let me wander,
escape common,
offering
a captivating me,
if you can’t watch
then leave.

Blue’s Story

Downhill slope
Mistake made, hidden
Broken heart, angry
Left wishing that day away for years
Signatures on legal paperwork
Packing for three
Regrets in the thousands
All along thinking, it was me
Uphill climb
Driving North
Silent heart, settling
Years of failings grieved
Light passing through windows
Touch of familiar love, family
Might take a decade, or less
Children, a pug: dependents
Nothing the same, yet, I’m me
Travel horizons
Positives shall return slowly
Hopeful heart, settling
My world at my side, loves
Patience astounding, blessed
Grace given and accepted, free
Continuity remains new for now
Life allowed back in. Glory be.

Soft Signs of Soon

Soft signs of soon
Soon, signs of soft
Signs soft, of soon
Of soft, soon signs
Soft soon, signs of

*Taking four words and writing poetry.

The phrase “soft signs of soon” caused such comfort this morning. Curious to see when placing them in a different order would body and mind react differently. Comfort, anxiousness, hopefulness, reflection, and peace were felt after each line.

I’m focusing on language and how it causes the poet in me to react. I’m happy with the outcome of this exercise and wanted to share it with y’all.

Does this make any sense to you or have I arrived at the Cliff of Rediculusness? Smiles. So what if I have…

***
A quick glance into my today. I do hope all is well in WordPress land. Thank you for continuing to read my poetry, as of late. I’ve shared much of what was written over the past year. There will continue to be some of that, please take caution when reading and don’t worry too much about me, as not all will reflect the moment.

I’m full-time mom, full-time employee, and full-time single household juggling, so please know I appreciate you being here in my space and leaving an encouraging word.

Your understanding and support means more than you will ever know. I recognize how difficult it can be to write while continuing to be present enough to encourage your peers. You never go unnoticed. I want you to believe this most importantly.

Thankful you still see the remnants of a Poetess about, as she is the woman who inspires me and the one I will crawl on my knees, however the distance, to find once again.

Always,
Aud

Z – Zephyr

I own a purpose
Within this life
I feel deepest when
My sonant sings.
Winds have howled,
My thoughts often left
Rationalized. What
Will tomorrow bring…
West winds reappear,
Command again,
I’m humbly listening.
Refuse the darkness when
It offers. Watch time take
What belongs to my soul,
And place it faithfully
Upon my willing shoulders.
I’ll continue to carry
my essence,
And give flight to the
Zephyr inside of me.

***

Thank you to those who supported my poetic effort. The A to Z Poetry Challenge brought me back to my poetry. Humbled. ♡

I’m Not An Italian Poetess

image

Typical Monday, it seems. Tried making lunch, while writing my feelings. Epic fail ensues, as thoughts continue to pursue my mind. Forcing me so easily to forget the time.

Poet’s are always lyrical, definitely this one, it seems. I can’t get past writing this as poetry. Stick a knife in my side. Please, won’t you abide? My friends, don’t write and bake, unless burned pizza is all you’re willing to take. My wishes sincere, once again, don’t do both while planning to eat, you won’t win.

Thankful I have a few other attributes that keep you coming around. Like maybe my smile or even my frowns. Tears shower plenty upon these walls, oh God, stop her before she continues to pitfall.

Laughter begins, oh look, a grin! Yep, tis possible, she’s drunk again. No, my friends, it isn’t so. I’m just handling a Monday, so far as this one goes…

Loyal followers, stay with me, please. This is only going to hurt for a minute. Slap happy grins is how I’ll spin it, you’ll see.

***
She’ll never be an Italian chef
and poetess, too
just look at what
wandering thoughts
can do…

Writer’s multitasking summer,
kitchen’s a wreck,
lovely ideas interrupt
baking, for endless possibilities,
if only I would’ve stopped to check…

This homemade pizza now crisp
and slightly burned, tis true
thankful, in the end
this treat,
is simply a vessel for brew…

image

I should go back into the Houston sun. It’s just delightfully hot and humid here. Yeah, I know, I’m almost done. The end is near…

Yours,
Audrey

A Look Inside

image

Securely sheathed within herself
She submits to you, a look inside
Her tender, emotional health
You see the colors of her mind

Travel slowly and enjoy the view
Accept her offer, slip even closer
Fragrant scent and tangerine hues
Whispered from our divine composer

Amongst moulding of verdant leaves
A bashful creation, you’ve witnessed
Folded, is best, she may believe
Yet, she unburdened, is your intention

Just So We’re Clear

Oldest Daughter

Proud
Provider
Affectionate
Forgiving
Saved
Honorable
Strong
Expected
Courageous
Controlled
Helpful
Teacher
Explorer
Joker
Creative

Red Headed Sister

Weak
Envious
Lost
Scared
Needing
Closed Off
Sinner
Challenger
Disgraced
Alone
Pitiful
Fighter
Questioner
Seeker

Inspite of it all? Redeemed. We’re all of these, right?

May have to add to these on and off throughout my journey.