imagine with me, if you will
red dirt dusted
upon his boots,
the chair otherworldly
a product of sturdy,
lean legs crossed
smokey eyes intent on
the crown of the moon
and sun before him
aware of every shift, made upon his domain,
as he contemplates
I see him,
and all I need is to
Tuttle Creek, spring semester
Convinced and finally alone,
The promise of happily ever after
With the help of a seductive cove.
Clothes drapped over fringe
Growth no higher than our knees
As summer promised a convenient hinge
And tree buds blossomed into leaves.
Warm air cradled doubt
While we dipped and slid with haste
A runner’s legs supported me
Mine, wrapped around his waist.
Water clutching nature
Connecting, skin to skin
Laughter echoed pleasure
I want to feel that way again.
the hum she chose,
in virgin white shining
as he approached.
in which she’s presented,
required leaning in close
as she murmured,
come on, let’s go
Today would have been my 19th wedding anniversary. Next month marks a year since the divorce was final.
All that keeps running through my mind is how big the lawyer’s office was, as I sat alone on one side of the conference table, while he and his lawyer sat on the other. I stared out the windows and silently begged to be told to jump. I was alone in there and naive enough to believe I wasn’t on my own. Still wanting to trust.
Why wouldn’t I reflect on our wedding day? I guess it’s because I don’t want to admit the truth to myself. I knew then he wasn’t built to handle me, but I expected him to be, so it wasn’t his fault he failed.
Always tough enough
Never really prepared
Poetic Format Haibun
Holistic Wayfarer made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, so I wrote a guest post a few weeks ago. I’m thrilled to see my memorable story on her blog tonight. Honored and better for the journey…
I could write
And the pain it caused,
Or continue to cry
Over what was lost,
Either one overburdened
Passed through the screen door,
Recalled the carpeted staircase,
Felt the pull of Maxine,
Grandmother, to me.
Twenty-three years, two months
Since we stood closely,
Packing odds and ends
Treasures, to me.
Cabinet I’ll never forget
Cookie dough testing,
“Needs flour, touch it, you’ll see,
Grab the butterscotch chips,
These will be Grandpa’s offerings.”
Sounds made when the drawers
Opened and closed, vintage whisperings,
Now upon my ears,
Fingertips sliding across moments,
Window gifting the same view,
Coverings, crisp and clean
Perfect place, for
Snapping green beans,
Time to move the sprinklers,
Grab a bucket, strawberries to tend,
Summers without her
Still painful, something I dread.
the allure of peach hues
leaves of seasons past, remain in view
sleek limbs rooted somewhere deep
symbolic of what I need, yet
find within myself, confusing, I know
simple answer, he must be wiser
i’m left terrified for him
and okay inside my mind alone
So, appearing simple,
And fated months before,
I, fearless cragswoman,
Listened to my inner voice.
Knowing when I entered,
I’d consider life’s possibilities,
Determine my future goals,
Pass through time’s memories.
Not realizing I’d feel your essence,
Beneath a canopy of discovery,
I’ve held back, cowardly,
Yet to fully disclose, findings.
Now, if I don’t take you inside,
I fear, I’ll lose you,
To the calls of regret,
Maybe, to fear.
Azure captures dawn
Respite’s freezing finale
I really must go
Find me under the blankets
Whisper the holiday back
My morning atonement revealed,
An exclusive reflection discovered,
Among the wistful hazel of my eyes.
Emotions overwhelm me
Watching the sun set together
Our childhood memories remind
Saying good night flows differently
Sitting amongst the strength of siblings
I’m driving north
Towards a Throwback
Ready Set Go
Fields of green
All welcoming me home
Full of cowboys
Many wives and mothers
All the best of friends
The best of America’s breed
I can’t wait to begin
The transition of feeling
At home and complete
With extended family
Simple redheaded lady
Not much does she need
Just this small town
1, 200 childhood friends
To hug and greet
I’d take you
I think you’d fit in easily
We’ll take nothing too seriously
Over coffee maybe have
About politics, weather and war
Some of them eyeing you
New person full of strange behaviors
You’d see the beauty
As we walk down main street
Spend evenings by the creek
Bottles of Jim Beam
I’d show you
Getting ready for a nice evening with friends tonight. The men always enjoy a nice slice of chocolate cake. My dad does, too. Couldn’t help but think of him while I was in the kitchen. I loved making his favorite dessert. I’ll send him this picture and give him a call in a bit.
This photo was just taken and the cake is still warm. I call it Yum-Yum Cake, but others call it Texas Sheet Cake. This warm chocolate brownie cake reminds me of my April blog anniversary story, as well. The image still resonates with me, so it’ll be extremely hard watching everyone enjoy this cake later. Ha! Enjoy! Maybe you should make it for someone special tonight. Get in the kitchen and make the cake together…now that is a happy thought.
2 c. flour
2 c. sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. butter flavoring
2 sticks of butter
1/4 c. cocoa
1 c. water
1/2 c. buttermilk
1/2 tsp. soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
Mix the flour and sugar together in a large mixing bowl. Boil the butter, cocoa and water in a saucepan. Pour it over the dry ingredients and mix. Add the remaining ingredients and mix well. Bake on a large cookie sheet at 400° for 20 minutes on the top rack of the oven.
1 stick of butter
4 T. cocoa
6 T. milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 lb. powdered sugar
1 to 1 1/2 c. nuts (optional)
Boil the butter, cocoa, milk and vanilla. Pour over the powdered sugar and mix with a whisk. Spread the frosting on the cake as it comes from the oven.
I listen to the rain outside; I think of you
Why now do I choose to remember
I miss the rain…Maybe I miss you.
A sad tune; takes me back
You should have kept that song
I need sadness…Maybe I need you.
Ears full of every song you’ve written
They quite rightly send me to you
I hear your melody…Maybe I hear you.
Your voice takes me back to that night
Strong hands play. I drift away
I wait for memories…Maybe I wait for you.
Your artistic mind allows for comfort
Today you will be my place to dwell
I wish for comfort…Maybe I wish for you.
Play our favorite notes: The deep ones
Allow my soul to sing
I can sing…Maybe I can sing for you.
That night you taught me how to play
Your arms wrapped around my body
I played for you…Maybe I taught you.
Feeling safe, free and secure; my speed
You encouraged my path beautifully
I remember it…Maybe I remember you.
The party’s over
The bags are packed and by the door
Don’t you dare leave me, not again
You’re gone gone gone
I’ve loved you forever and back
You’ve been here since the beginning
I’ve not had to ask for your forgiveness
You understand what I’ve been through
A similar path, me and you
Lost in translation for others, it is true
I promised to tell a story
This I will do