On days when my mind races;
This heart of mine you keep it beating.
Forever lost in powerful dreaming;
Oh please, agree to release me.
Grant the creativity I feel deep inside;
Muse, bravely lead me through our eternity.
A Story From The Truck Diaries
You have to know that the three sisters, Oldest, Baby and Middle, love Big Brother’s truck. It doesn’t matter which truck he has at the time, whether he’s found one that’s bright red or brown. We adore the significance behind them. They are the epitome of Big Brother and many, if not most, of our memories include him with one.
Can we back track a second? I feel like I should explain something.
Is it important? You’ve updated us on a few things along this path that haven’t been relevant, if we’re being honest.
I actually do find this important, because it explains why…just listen. Continue reading
Grow Up, Audrey Dawn, Geez!
Yeah, I said it. They should be ashamed of themselves. Big Brother, Baby and Middle had me visiting them in a whole new way. Somehow, we’d begun more of a physical visit than a typical mental visit. I suppose that’s what happens when one of us moves too far away.
I’m processing the fact that I didn’t capture the meaningful time with my siblings over Christmas that I had travelled so far to get. I mean, if anyone’s due for getting what she’d wanted it was me.
You should just be happy that you had a chance to see them.
I am, I assure you. Continue reading
Change Is Good
I know, the holidays are offically over now. Sad? Shall we take a moment? Better? Me, too. Let’s hug it out. Okay, great!
I’m processing the much anticipated visit that I had with my three siblings, in Nebraska, a few weeks ago. In retrospect, I’m very disappointed in Big Brother, Baby and Middle. Actually, they should be ashamed of themselves. Their behavior was out of line. I believe I was suckered into being made to look like a clown, but I’ll let you be the judge.
Dance Woman Dance
Dance perfectly, my woman
Offer an honorable and friendly curtsy
Smile on time, I remember you once forgetting
Shut your mouth, the explaining appropriate never
You should have thought of that selfish woman, you know better
Makes sense now doesn’t it? I’ve told you, your silly dreams forever hindering
Gray Clouds of Doubt
I see you there little leaf in the tree,
Are you hanging there to scare me?
I can’t quiet seem to figure you out,
Maybe you’re here to distract or calm my doubts?
Why do you continue to hold on?
Don’t you know all the others have gone?
Do you see a future that others did not see?
Why would you choose to wait with me?
Being left alone does not frighten this lady, only strengthens, I believe.
Go along and find the others, I see them all waiting curiously.
Don’t trouble yourself with lingering here now, honestly
Not Another Award Post! No! But, It’s Me: Audrey
Okay, its award time. Trust me, this has been a long time coming. I am way behind in thanking everyone for encouraging me. I have to say that I was surprised at the amount of friends I have to thank. Some of you shocked me. I didn’t even know you were reading my posts. For the record, I have a special place in my heart for you quiet readers. I happen to be one on occasion.
This is a long post. I’ve tried to speed it up as best I can without taking away from the bloggers who truly need a push and the recognition. Please forgive my writing errors today. I’m not going to say I didn’t spell check, because it may be the only thoughtful correcting I did for you.
We’ve got to get to this quick, as you all know how much work goes in to posting and pasting all of this important information. I want to make sure I get it correct for all of us. Just please know I am thrilled to have my badges on the side of my blog and am thankful for such a supportive group of followers. Okay, this is going to be fun, I promise.
Continue reading
Solemn Battle
Written for Professor VJ Duke, the keeper of The Punchy Lands! He's a constant supporter of mine. I hold him quite dear. Read of his Punchies , his land is captivating. The professor commanded me to write of swords. I confessed that swords and I had no history. I insisted I wouldn't know how. Then Jolly Holiday happened just before Christmas, I wrote of my experience and then created this, my first published sonnet, a lyric piece of dramatic poetry. Thank you, Duke. Thanks for pushing me to write of swords, I would have never known of the therapeutic release otherwise, my friend. ******************* Slumped shoulders proved to me that you were about to let him win… Come on! Get up and fight! The war in your mind is still raging Snuff out the voices which keep you down Show me you have the will to kill Reveal! Show your battle arms and let the scars open Stand tall against his approach, do you hear Dead in the eyes the only way to abdicate him Remember, diverted eyes can show your fear Raise! Your trusted hand which tightly anchors the hilt Thrust that sword through the air Make contact early and release any guilt The awaited battle ensues, you'll take that dare Step Back! Let him show his wounds, see what it proves Warm blood, let them all have a view Oh! Claret upholds your technique Nay, he didn't have a clue Attack! Veer left, yes again and proper You wear the armor of a Knight Keep revealing the ante of war Show him your quick and mighty flight Go! He'll take you further, no doubt Sword drawn, go at him again He desires a severed conclusion Eternally, your life not his to end Stomp! Yes, towards his sword, Anon! Do not take your eyes off him This is your archaic dream Shan't let him win Quick! Quick! Force him to back up! Now Charge! Right hand push forward Oh! Come around - chase him down No, didn't see that side either He found a piece of you, this is fear Get Up! Make it fast he'll charge your weakness Remove your hand of your side, center yourself He's back with full vengeance Recovery, yes, that's the plan Show! Your determination to end him Feel the pressure as the sword slides in Fight to end his creation and all consumes Make him pay for perpetrating you Stop! Speak of triumphing words Remind him of the joy you'll feel While ending this tiresome battle Oh Please, believe in supremacy still Remember! As he slowly approaches you again Taunting with smiles employed by evil Remember, you fight for good Defeating him: the conquest of all brave men Prepare! He'll sense any admittance of shortcomings Qualify all beliefs, the end is near Center your sword, Wise One Prove to him nevermore in error Listen! To the voice inside your cunning belfry You mustn't ignore the wicked one He's there to keep you justly alive You'll toss him out after the battle is done Wait! For him, he's calculating His timing will be perfect, it seems Sadly, his sword just as mighty Yet, powered by all evil deeds Don't! Not too soon, this fight is yours to win You can't allow for mistakes this night Keep your grip strong, your mind sharp Recall, the moral Ninja in this fight Control! The feet which want to go advancing Your timing is all you have Sun setting, this match predestined Phantoms of happily ever after awaken Fight! Right, left, right! Charge forward, Warrior Use the hands on your blade, gather the battler Pull the darkness towards you Tonight! Spin your wrist, force his sword away Did you see him fronting near the end Evil lost his footing, gain the ground which separates Finish him! Mighty! Pull that sword back Cease the fight, attack! Slice life from him, left to right Exactly what you wanted, true? To end him? What? Didn't you see? Your sword played wickedly Skill pulled the sword from his hands End this battle just as we planned Just Believe! He's left unarmed, your chance to be free Your eyes stay connected, questioning him urgently To see your sword drawn so violently Then to watch you walk away, Amazing That's Right! I like that smile You know you've won, why end him at all There's nothing he could have done The power between your shoulders Well, it has only just begun ******************************* Hmm? What are you doing How is it that you're carving Something into that tree How Interesting! You're using your sword caressing the golden award winning beast The tip seems to be carving brilliantly A Ring? Is it true! You finished it rather quickly, 'twas said to you Mesmerizing to watch the katana now so clean Sword takes an About-face to your protective side now clinging So! Upon closer inspection, as you wait for my opinion I pull out my ink, simple letters to be appended Amidst the ring a simple phrase created - WORD! Laughter! I ruffle your hair and replace my pen. Let's get on with it then. (By golly, I think she's done it.)
English Countryside
Thinking done here, someplace special
I tend to keep you to myself
I think I’ll call you, The Sleeper
That way I don’t have to share you with anyone else
You understand where my mind is
That isn’t an easy thing to do
Thank you for the beautiful picture
Your words, too
What My Mind Does For You
Hurry night, I’ve something waiting!
I have dreaming of tomorrows to show you
Wild thoughts I continue to prepare
Oh! What my mind does for you.
Proving what you can do, will do.
I lift you up through the clouds
I love to watch you strut about!
Thoughts of you, anticipating
Tomorrow, I beg you to open up
Show me what you’re needing
Maybe you’ll consume all of me
Tomorrow, you suit my dreams
I know my mind, I know it well
It isn’t safe
I shouldn’t go
Oh, but I will
Well Wouldn’t Ya Know It
I came across some interesting news over the holidays. Did you know that if you Google my name, Audrey Dawn, the first page of info will be about porn? Yes, that’s right, Audrey Dawn is a porn star, as well. Let’s cue the music, shall we?
Bow Chica Wow Wow…
I have to say that I’m pretty thrilled she isn’t a redhead. Can you imagine me trying to explain away that misunderstanding? The details are sketchy but I’m fairly certain that my physical features do not mirror hers. I can almost hear the stampede of men leaving right now to investigate. Thanks a lot guys.
I’ve got to get to my point and quick.
So yeah, curiosity hit me. I Googled Audrey Dawn. Oh joy! I share my name with a few others as well, just none with a profession as exciting as porn. Porn Audrey Dawn is a character from a movie. The movie is from a few years ago. The actress who played her is also linked to our name. What I’m wondering now is can I overcome the rather “large” presence and possible domain over our name. Can I possibly become the #1 Audrey Dawn without resorting to porn?
I did a lot of reading over the holidays and everyone is talking about change. I read about new blogging directions, stats, growing an audience, and even marketing yourself. It wasn’t my intention to learn more, basically I fell right into it here on WordPress. I found it interesting. Actually, I found that the why it’s important to us was much more compelling.
The ultimate goal is in front of all of us. I suppose very few are as unaware as I am as to where the finish line’s located. It’s here somewhere. I remember reading about it and maybe even seeing a picture once.
We should follow strong and seasoned writers. The best sellers of the world have much to say and we should entertain it. I also find it imperative to follow writers who seem to be running the same speed. If you’d like, I’ll read to you of Tortoise and the Hare. I understand the reasons for keeping pace with those you want to challenge or overtake. It’s when it becomes too important that I worry. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. You are where you’re supposed to be right now. You’ll get to those other places when you’re meant to and not a page sooner.
I didn’t want to discover this Google information, but I wonder if I’m stuck with it now. Am I always going to be Second Page Audrey Dawn? Is there a chance that I can overcome Porn Audrey Dawn? I lean towards waving a white flag and accepting my place in Google’s rankings.
I mean I’m good, but I’m not that good. She’s working with plastics, make-up and good lighting. I simply have make-up, blue ink in my pen and clean white paper. Do you hear her sinking my battleship? You weren’t supposed to say yes.
Oh! Never fear, Aud’s here and I’m going to overcome all the other Audrey Dawns because I’m a glutton for punishment.
I figure I can:
1. give it all I’ve got.
2. keep my eye on the prize.
3. have spark in my sparkle.
4. can be all I can be.
5. beat her at the Audrey Dawn Game.
What I’ve learned from this experience is that when you start wondering about yourself it makes me wonder about myself. Yeah, I know. I have bigger problems yet to face. Your posts executed my thinking on how unaware I am over how I’m doing. I caved. I Googled myself and now it seems that I’ll be searching myself a lot more frequently to see how I’m measuring against her. (No, I won’t.)
My guess is that very few of you are competing with a story about porn. Scratch that, everyone seems to be competing with porn, so I should focus on what I was doing before I Googled my name. Anyone else get the sense that I’m talking to myself? Even the woman are like…Well just let me go have a look…
I think I’ll investigate Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister from now on and leave Audrey Dawn alone for a while.
This Has Got To Stop
When you’re writing sensitive sentences do you ever feel like you’re invading a private moment?
It seems I should walk away and give them some space. Maybe turn my head or divert my eyes, as if to offer them their privacy. I’m not just talking about bedroom moments. I’m also talking about true feeling moments for my characters. Why do I seem to get red in the face?
Have you ever wished it was you? You know, the one you’re writing about? How do I stop that?
Doodles On A Page
Artistic doodles on a page
I won’t write what I want to say
Ancient alphabet across my paper
A message dances within these letters
Blue ink in my pen
For purpose, the invasion seems driven
My name written over and over
A reminder of who I am
Fierce places for my mind to travel
A desire to fill my needs
Writing of love it shall be
Wake me when it is over
You’re gone, Gone, GONE
The party’s over
The bags are packed and by the door
Don’t you dare leave me, not again
You’re gone gone gone
I’ve loved you forever and back
You’ve been here since the beginning
I’ve not had to ask for your forgiveness
You understand what I’ve been through
A similar path, me and you
Lost in translation for others, it is true
I promised to tell a story
This I will do
Reality
Get back here!
Right now!
Where have you gone?
Did I, your sister, say you could go?
Sadness sets in, but I refuse to let it take me.
It wasn’t my intension to let you get away so easily.
Back to life you and I must journey.
This vacation is killing me.
Puffy eyes, have I.
I’m acting pitifully.
Get over it, Aud!
This, my dear, reality.
You
Happy New Year!! Thanks for an awesome ending to 2013. I can’t even begin to describe my feelings towards 2014.
This next year is going to rock. I feel it deep down. I hope you feel it for yourselves, too.
I’ll be here just doing what I do, but the beat will be a lot louder from here on out. Can you handle it? Hold on, it’s about to get crazy up in here!!
Happy New Year!
You.
You did it.
Without knowing, you did it.
What I feel, without knowing, you did it.
You.
You made it.
My heart beating fast, you made it.
What I hear, my heart beating fast, you made it.
You.
You created it.
My mind racing, you created it.
What I think, my mind racing, you created it.
You.
You sense it.
Without admittance, you sense it.
What I am, without admittance, you sense it, too.
Love – To Know Me So Well
Charished and effortless reactions had been lost with distance.
Now welcomed back in with monumental excess, as we familiarize once again.
So simple is life when they’re along for the ride, I’ve found my peaceful heart.
Looking into familiar eyes long over due, man just look at you.
I can’t get enough of sibling love and only a few more days have we.
Come along back to Texas with me, please?
We’ll change lives together, forever a team, you and me.
Emotional Creatures
Tears
In a woman, show her heart.
Anger
In a woman, reveals her truths.
Sadness
In a woman, is real.
Smiles
In a woman, define her peace.
Laughter
In a woman, proves her happiness.
Silence
In a woman, might as well mean death.
Winter Path
Traveling an ice storm
Weeping tree wears a crystal glove
Weight on my shoulders
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister 