Grow Up, Audrey Dawn, Geez!

Yeah, I said it. They should be ashamed of themselves. Big Brother, Baby and Middle had me visiting them in a whole new way. Somehow, we’d begun more of a physical visit than a typical mental visit. I suppose that’s what happens when one of us moves too far away.

I’m processing the fact that I didn’t capture the meaningful time with my siblings over Christmas that I had travelled so far to get. I mean, if anyone’s due for getting what she’d wanted it was me.

You should just be happy that you had a chance to see them.

I am, I assure you. 

I spent time being present in their world. I watched how everyone was Mommying and Daddying, since it’s so long between visits. I viewed them in their working roles, as well. I wanted submerged into their lives. Being with them is what I missed the most. Seeing who they’re becoming no matter their age, for me, is priceless. I can see this clearly, now. Mostly, we were busy running around making sure that we knew we were together again.

I’ll admit that sitting on, or possibly near them, most of the time may have pushed aside the “Fix My Brain” conversations. I adore having those moments with my siblings.

You sit on your siblings?

Well, yeah, playfully and to insure that they know I’m in the room with them. I wouldn’t want to be ignored.

How old are you again? Adults don’t act like that, Audrey.

What?

What’s wrong with sitting, possibly invading, on your sibling’s personal space, or resting on your sisters’ laps? You don’t do it? You should try it the next time you’re with them. Yes, you should. Trust me. It’s what siblings should do, I think.

We’re supposed to play with one another. I don’t suspect that it’s supposed to change once we’re adults. Do you?

Which one of them has the boney butt in your family? I want to introduce you the one in my family with the boniest butt. No, I won’t call her out here, she’s entirely too right, all the time, to admit it anyway.

Seriously, we aren’t suppose to loose the playful side of our relationship. We’re siblings! These are the people who know our deepest secrets. They know how long we spent in the bathroom getting ready in the morning back in high school. They know who we’ve kissed and who we wished we had. They’ve witnessed and experienced the nasty runny eggs that we had to endure for breakfast, because there wasn’t anyone else to cook them.

Poor Big Brother, he’s always to blame.

Sorry, Big Brother. I know it wasn’t your fault and that it was your first time making eggs for us. Middle will get over it one day, I promise. The team will convience her to eat them again, if it’s the last thing we accomplish.

Big Brother, Baby and Middle know me, already. They’ve survived me and I them, so we allow for our childhood fervor to continue.

Grant the grown-ups you work with the serious and adult side of you. Strut around and show off your amazing abilities to all of them. Make them want to be the Adult You, all day long.

Yeah, keep your serious face on and do it well when you’re conducting your very serious life, if it makes you feel better.I’m just asking that you try to take your relationship with your siblings back to those moments when it was fun to be around them. Embrace the silly chances when together. Enjoy them.

Well, maybe my siblings and I didn’t have that kind of relationship growing up!

Then do it now, my friend.

None of us are so important that we can’t come running at the ones we love with such a speed that we frighten them into a giggle. Get them to smile, and then shock them with a memory from your childhood that provides a positive reaction. Give them a compliment, or let them know they were right about something you were a bit too wound up over years ago.

What I’m saying is, forgive them for driving over your bike and making the tire look like a taco. Well, that’s what it looked like, right? Big deal! Can you believe that you’ve allowed this moment to get in the way of contentment? Be honest with yourself, were you over reacting? Probably, and that’s okay.

Let them off the hook. 

I will clarify that the route for a much stronger hurt looks differently. I’ve been on that route, as well. One day we’ll talk about it. Until then please know that I do understand that deep hurt hurts deeply. I know this to be true.

You’re confusing us again, Audrey.

I’m sorry, back to my siblings and my clown-like behavior.

We didn’t have our “Fix My Brain” conversations, but I’m okay with it. Our long conversations on the phone, previous to my visit, seemed to calm our longing to fix one another. I’ve pieced together that they needed something different from me this visit. Yes, besides Oldest sitting on their lap or allowing them to sit on mine. I figured out that what they needed was to hear my laugh, feel my touch and watch my face, a lot.

We did numerous silly things together. One night in particular stands out. You’ll have to promise to take it to your grave.

Okay, we promise…

No, forget it. I can’t share that story.

We did end up in Big Brother’s Big Red Barn one night. We call it a barn, but it’s really a man cave disguised as a Big Red Barn. We may have been celebrating a little before hand, but after ending up in the Big Red Barn the evening took a turn. It was a sneak attack, actually.

Anyway, my siblings will tell you that I’m most favored when I’ve been given a stage. I’ve got to be honest. Once this foursome, that you’ve agreed to get to know, begins feeding off one another it’s over. Before you realize it, you’re watching the Audrey & Her Siblings Show, and my name comes first because this is my blog.

I’m the writer. I say what goes.

Maybe she began reciting her poetry to all of them?

No, but I wrote a lot of it over the break and had positive feedback from them and you guys, too.

My brother has this old truck in the Big Red Barn. The machine is similar to the truck he drove in the 90s. When he’s not driving the pick-up for fun, he has it parked in the fancy barn. The truck was just parked there begging to be sat in by his three sisters. This includes me acting as if I’m Big Brother cruising the streets of our small town, and yes, it also requires having a few props.

Cruising downtown, now those are some of my favorite memories.

Oooo, tell us about the speeding ticket you got when you were 15. 

How did you know about that? Do I know you?

Anyway, the music was being played rather loudly from speakers throughout the barn, whether the songs were country, rock or rap we had them spinning from the front of the establishment. Big Brother is a bit of a DJ if I am to be completely honest with you. He can flip a CD and give you your favorite song in seconds. He takes a lot of requests. His only condition is you sing your heart out, even if it sounds horrible. He’s a bit of a reminiscer, as well.

I’m still a bit annoyed that we didn’t have any Beastie Boys. Big Brother needs to fix the problem before my next visit. He claimed that he wore the CD out. I’m left suspicious.

Once my sisters and I had finished warming up improv style on Big Brother’s go-cart, lawn mowers and big wheels we moved to the truck. This is where the cameras came out. May those pictures burn and never see the light of day. Audrey in the drivers spot, Baby in the middle, of course, and Middle took the passenger side. Big Brother’s eyes were gleaming. Mentally, he knew where we were heading…oh look a cowboy hat.

(I’ll tell you the rest tomorrow.)

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24 thoughts on “Grow Up, Audrey Dawn, Geez!

  1. Okay… I’ve had a wonderful time in the barn, but now I want the picture you described in the last paragraph… “Audrey in the drivers spot”… It should have been the pic for this post… Feel free to send it to my email if that is the only way I can see it… Wish I was there to enjoy the beautifulness of the moment… to sing my heart out and to sit in the back of the truck (my favorite place to ride… or to pretend I’m going somewhere while sitting still in the barn… that would beat my cardboard boxes I use to travel in) Were you wearing the cowboy hat? Perfect!
    Great post Audrey…

  2. Give it time, Audrey. You’ll be sitting there next week, next month, and connections will start populating in your brain between what you saw/felt/heard on your Christmas trip and what you thought you knew. You suddenly will understand something you didn’t.

    That’ll never happen with my siblings. I am in awe of your relationships.

  3. Pingback: A Story From The Truck Diaries | Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister

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