In Strides

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“We had the strength to raise them, we will have the strength to let them go …”    

– The Waltons

A friend sent me that quote a few days ago. Soo, true.

I’m sat here, finally, after a busy day. I just read great news from both kids (6 hours after the fact), if I could pat myself on the back I probably would, but I know single moms rarely accomplish big things without help from many.  Life is a crazy ride, and I’m so grateful for it. I’ve settled in to empty nesting finally, yet I wish I was with both of them celebrating their accomplishments.

Anyway, just one more quick story from today. Been a heck of a day. ♡

Love you, Aud.

I helped care for a man today who had recently gone to heaven. It was my privilege to do so, even if some would say it’s just my job.

He was the epitome of a real Nebraskan. A Nebraska Gentleman, he served his country, he raised his family, his wife had been cherished, he cared for his farm and community, all the while serving his church.

He taught grown men how to farm in the 1950s, after Korea, and did very well farming his own land. When many folks were selling in the 1980s, he was just hitting his stride. He had a helluva stride, too. I looked forward to seeing his face on Sunday mornings. He would’ve been just my type. Well dressed, and smelled good too, even at over 90, you could see him driving his vehicle to play cards with the boys, or walking to church on a beautiful Spring morning. He was humble, soft spoken, yet incredibly certain, he paid attention to detail and always asked about my children. The true enjoyment on his face over their accomplishments created the best feeling inside of me. He truly cared. I’ll miss him. His presence brought normalcy to my week. I live with regret. I didn’t tell him how impressed I was by his just being HIM.

It was an honor to serve his family today. 95 years – well done, good and faithful servant.

Be well, friends. ♡

Confusion

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inspiration approaches in a flash
excitement extinguished in a word, yet
each recorded as swift.
life documented in color
the end begins with light, yet
regardless there’s mourning.
slam the book shut
allow dirt time to dust, yet
both examples of waste.
opportunity comes calling
change deemed the enemy, yet
life vastly awaits.

Brilliance Dawning

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There are mornings, where if I don’t write what’s waiting, it will continue to sway within me.

Pushing, pulling, and looking for a way to make room. There’s attitude, fear, and control, all of which have caused me to stumble in the past.

The stutter I used, and passed down when I was younger was me – unashamed. Confident in my thoughts and convictions.

I believed wholeheartedly in myself, yet appearing to question my authority to those listening around me. Passed over and rendered entertaining. They didn’t know me very well, did they?

Interesting how I finally feel her again. And she’s amazingly bright and able.

Isn’t it funny?

Bravery appears differently on everyone.

Evident

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Early morning viewing, only the good die young, or so Billy says.
Caught once again between regret and dread.
I thought of you this morning, driving into OZ,
“Turn around, Aud.”
I didn’t, nearly cost me my life, and here I am
pleading with the essence of what’s left of you.
Lead me, hollar louder,
my constant plea is evident, ignored.
I sensed your protection, view from afar, then kids told me, but – yet
you are who you are.

The Climb

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despite what looms around her,

the past
the expectations
the privilege
the power
the beauty
the silence
she chooses to try.


she begins at the bottom,
alone – yet, her
confidence is exposed as petals stretch.
amethyst her signature,
and starlet her pose,
the climbing inevitable, but
she’s worth it,
and you know.

Yours, Audrey

Discovery

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I miss the days of lost in cerulean and clouds,
even though searching for you came with a cost,
my mind ardently invented you as I lie on the ground.

moments screamed past me then, and there’s no getting them back,
yet I feel fulfilled when memories rush in,
blessed, some would say to forget what I lacked.

a path was forged, one I so desperately needed,
the voice inside me tasted like screaming –
to most it wouldn’t make sense but free, my friend, isn’t always freedom.

An Entire World Awaits

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what is time without a watchful eye,
til color fades, we mustn’t
gray tones allow hope
say it is so, dear one.
how is it my hands feel the road and its bumps,
while tires roll atop –
proof we’ve been here before
and what a journey it was.
clouds become pillows,
for murmurs under the sheets,
and the rain in the distance
a melody I remember and
cherish, please believe.
today is full of beauty, I smirk
yet again.
passionate in the ordinary I shall remain,
and glimpses of tomorrows
shall nudge me forward,
across the plains.

Left Simply – With Beauty

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He’s my muse,
Maybe he’s forgotten,
Unable to feel
My arms,
How I’ve wrapped them
So many times,
Squeezing tighter,
Within my mind.
He’s the attraction
I adore,
The lust upon my tongue,
Yet I cannot reach him.

Left.
Aching with want
Living amongst the borderline,
Of am I enough.
I yearn for his trust,
As he longs for my mind,
If I give it away –
Then what?
He’s mine – my wish,
Like a daisy chain around
My neck; a gift.
I’d wear him with pride,
If he’d ask.

Dominion

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i imagine the comfort
like warmth snuggled in
under layers of protection
surrenderer me with victorious him

daylight taken with pleasure
my body with so much to give
leaves the master of my affection
a playground he accepts as his

a muse so confident
doubt unable to live –
stifled and erased, becomes
a union of dominion and submissive