Big Girl

my step is lighter, yet
i want you here,
can’t imagine this feeling will ever go away.
whatever the journey
lessons are learned
being open to growth
is difficult,
but I’ve humbled myself,
ready for today.
***
What I Would Have Shown You

– The End.

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Breathe

I recognize how important a view like this could be for those seeking.

Deep breath, reminding me of how little we really are comparably.

How creation is here for a purpose and is depended upon.

And instead of sitting in awe, over its splendor,

I morn.

I caught a glimpse of what my soul really needed, felt my head finally clear, rooted in my deepest beliefs and wanted to stay.

Why would God show me and then pull it away.

Defeated.

Too much still depends on me. I can’t give up.

Breathe the azure
Smell the verdant
Touch the pristine

Let go of this grief.

***
What I Would Have Shown You

Belonging

Conquering wasn’t the plan.
as plain as it sounds,
I wanted to belong
be along side,
your missing link
searched for
found
and shown
where I was needed.
Sustainable, desired
an intricate detail,
in view
precious,
in the forever story.
One shouldn’t go
where one isn’t
planned for,
intended
or thought of

***

What I Would Have Shown You

Small Pebble In My Jeans

my attraction to hard, born through a lost memory,
existed,
created who I am.

an unusual warmth from the simplest of minerals I’ve grown accustomed to, need
and cannot explain.

I greet them, inspect
place them in my hand
and slowly they enter,
my pocket. Mine. My anchor.

each time I revisit the Rockies
the desire arouses
matures, alters in strength,
becomes habitual.

these rocks, their immensity
I want to claim as my own,
every year unwilling to ask
I leave, unbecoming.

*What I Would Have Shown You

Apology

I
I am
I’m just
I’m just sorry
I’m just so sorry
I’m just so
I’m just
I am
I

***
I’m sorry my words have been so dim as of late – for a long time now really. They’re lacking the beauty and happiness I swore I’d share when this site begin six years ago. There was sadness then and I wanted joy to survive the pain I felt, so I came here to teach myself to recieve happiness.

I’m going to do my best to share my light and the acceptance of myself again – the joy I know exists inside my heart. There is a little girl inside of me hurting something terrible. I owe it to her to show her beauty again, so I must try.

Not sure if it’ll be short stories as it was in the beginning (she likes those) or poems & photography, which aren’t perfect or winning any awards, but reflects what I see and feel. Bringing me much closer to love.

100 thank yous to those who still linger in my words. You are appreciated.

Hope to see you around,
Aud

I’m In Love

I’m in love with being in love.
There’s nothing I have visioned for myself that excites me more.

I hear laughter
Eye squints as their sparkle escapes
I feel that upon my face.

Silly grins
Dimples no longer hidden within
The true marking of contentment
And its offer of grace.

The best of friends welcoming
Challenges – happy endings -frustrations.
Holding hands, connecting spirits
Building a firm foundation.

Take me there, widen the span of
Love’s true existence
Birth the eve of beginnings
And wrap me in the arms of the one
Who needs me.

Oh, To Play

if there is a puddle
from an afternoon rain,
recently pattered down
to greet us,
do we jump and giggle?
Aye, he chuckles.
then what do we think of those
who choose not
to play?
might they be tense,
foul, controlled, or
too concerned for our liking?
probably, she muses,
but we need them, too.
so I’ll fight for an opportunity
to see their smile
every single day,
while my toes wiggle in the rain
with you.

A You

If I closed my eyes and saw simple perfection,
there would be a you.

Words sought by princess’, over hills around mountains, were written
and shared by you.

Dreams play out in forms of melodies I’ve never heard,
but belong to you.

Pools of tears welling up
and lying fearless in my eyelids
await you.

Happily ever after didn’t exist
in plain surroundings,
until the belief of you. 

Now I seek every moment,
listening humbly,
for a you.

Aerial

image

tranquility nearly impossible
fearful wonders seeking respite
mountain quarry pieced
fitting perfectly, breathes
fluttering ethereal
flights of the past
blue sky reminders
micro version moments
wishing on a bird’s-eye view
forget windless
courage wears fate
design indigo
flint aerial

***
I’m home, unpacked and packing again for another adventure. I’ve visited numerous states (including Kentucky and North Carolina which were not part of my summer plans), but it feels good to be in Texas again. At least a little. I’ll be leaving in the morning for central Texas, Hill Country and the Frio River.

I need time to clear my head and find my voice again and the trip here always seems to help. The internet connections are limited, so you won’t see me posting or commenting.

See you in a week. Hope y’all are enjoying your summer. Go find love and give her a sweet pat on the ass for me. I love you.

Yours,
Audrey

All Along

image

I’ve felt you in my life
Whispered callings I ignored
My past has carried you in my heart
Pocket sized, along sandy shores

Present, and low voiced, there, too
Wooded wisps tending to folklore
Surround, comfort and continue
Our souls connecting without a clue

Continuation of plans, a need explored
Unforced, reveals a vibrant hue
Sighing, as I unfold tomorrow
How do I begin to explain you