her lack of confidence,
deep within,
sails past most
as they watch
day to day,
so intriguing, she,
a soul they want close.
Then One leans in,
comes a little closer,
sensing her heart,
listening.
The wait he’ll entertain,
a point of patience given,
proof of his ability
to see her,
and who she is,
true acceptance shown, granted.
The beginning of what is
meant to be,
his devotee.
Eyes not yet connected
Souls searched routinely,
Understanding
Inevitable,
You breathe, I breathe.
Reconcile
Our belonging,
Lead me
Hey, Sweetie
Dad’s reassuring greet
I’ve just always expected
Weather’s calm
Dad’s predictability
Bring snacks for the backseat
Asking where to, and then
Do you know where we are
Just look for the sun
Stay calm
Know this will also pass
He has prepared me
A quick update.
I’m here when I want be sleeping like the women I envy, even though I know desire gets me nowhere.
I envy her the quiets breaths her He would listen for, as He watched making sure bad dreams didn’t interrupt the peaceful place He’d prepared.
Suppose she offers him the same sanctuary. I hope so.
Anyway, just wanted y’all to know why I’m in and out of WordPress. My father begins a new treatment for a whole new set of distractions.
I can’t be with him like I want to be, because of the responsibilities I have for my own little family. Dad understands and has my middle and baby sisters with him this month. However, you guys know I am unsettled with the arrangement.
I have moments where I feel like my best isn’t enough.
When I fail at being human and not fighting for what I need.
What does obtaining get us?
Maybe as we are is best.
We understand this as we are space. It seems to work. It isn’t ideal, but our needs are met, if they weren’t we would change.
Or would we?
Fear is a real emotion. It isn’t intended for us, but we let it in. We grasp fear thinking we can somehow live together.
We can’t. Not truly.
Embracing love or accepting fear is the choice we’re given.
Love and fear don’t really work together.
my question begs, how do I remain,
remain without wanting to compete
compete for your attention
attention you offer willingly
willingly, but at what cost
cost may be greater
greater than you realize
realize first, I’m in love
love, found adamant in a terra-cotta sky
*Loop Poem
The Map
She awaits the sound of crinkling paper, the frustrations of folding it just right
The groan of exhaling, and the twinkle in his eyes
An open road before them with nothing to lose
And a love fated for eternity, who knew it would be you.
Yours,
Audrey Dawn
powdered sugar spring
covering sprouts emerging
blanketed with hope
It wasn’t until now,
as I humbly take you in,
that I understand love.
It wasn’t until now,
feeling you all the more,
I realize I have experienced devotion.
It wasn’t until now,
while sat here cherishing you,
my decision to try is simple.
it’s how you sound
in your constant
here I am,
I’m not leaving
lap of consistency,
that turns me into
a believer.
even the glisten within
total darkness proves
you are you,
as swirls reach out
to touch me,
to quench.
I won’t miss the doubt,
fear
or the hiding.
complete submersion
into you,
heals.
I hope your Easter is full of love. ♡
she would guard him
through the night, devoted
and into every storm
knowing she belonged there, too
maybe writing this out will help me compartmentalize my thoughts
there are so many distractions as of late
The new year came in with swords drawn and a battle ensued
one I’m currently within
I’ve been rude to those around me when it was never my intention
maybe inside a daydream isn’t where I should reside, only making life worse
tangible moments, proof they exist, is where my heart currently lives
Faith begins and ends my day, serving makes sense inside my head
an inability to understand is fine, just accept me for who I am
all praise honor and glory be, yes to the Father,
and then it’s he.
He who is out there, slowly keeping pace
would begin and end my moments, but that’s only what I need.
no desire left to chase, fearful of ending back in a place where questioning motive and truth controls my each and every day.
does peace exist? are relationships worth creating…
me who’s father was gone too much, a mother who left all together
how do I believe this isn’t the pattern,
it’s happened, one after the other.
leaning into the belief, if love is meant to be
easing into a life alone, tending to sheep and children who are all too soon grown, where will I go?
Listening for the answers I know my God has planned, I pray I don’t mess this up
looking down at my empty hands.
knowing each and every piece given to me for care,
is one I’m made for and a joy to prepare.
sweet pastels arrive
through my bedroom window,
finches giggle on
without a care,
springtime may blossom
after all,
as eager leaves on trees
relax, dutifully prepare.
Red
Cardinal bird, a King
Came to see me
His voice authoritative
Until my eyes met his
Then tender he became
While looking intently into my soul
He touched the base of who I am,
Sensing my purpose, desire.
Have I touched him? No,
Yet, he is what I’ve known
Should exist.
Oh, light he provides
Stay, please
I am his.
*Photo doesn’t do these words justice, however, I had to try for a picture. Please excuse my inexperience.
overwhelmed with responsibility
I listen to the rain fall for hours early this morning.
not a bird rejoices
as dawn breaks, although hidden
but the train travels through
twice, horn insistent.
strong coffee brews,
snowflakes appear
beauty automatic,
like women with blue eyes
and goldenrod hues of hair.
a tantrum wouldn’t fix
what’s inside my head,
use the wisdom and
traits God gave me
stop worrying about
what’s changing.
snowflakes fall
white covers the ground
my lilies now
curled back in fear,
winter refuses to leave
and I wish you were here.
her heart isn’t shattered
it’s defeated,
depths of its final
landing, unknown
to many.
but to those who
greet her,
the many who
survive the fall,
they’ve found the truths in and of love
and have vowed
to show her
your presence flows
through sensually,
nourishing, like Water
to a young flower,
if only you could
see how good you are
for my soul,
you’d never leave
and become eternally lost
in leaving your mark,
within me, while
devouring my
submissive
and pleasing spirit,
one I surrender with joy,
for you, only.
Spending the morning with my father while he has chemo. Thrilled to share this day with him.
***
Sharing an old post of mine, which came to mind this morning as I wait, yeah it’s about a couple’s anniversary but passes for a nice birthday surprise, as well. Who doesn’t like cake?
Thank you for the love and prayers. Miss y’all. ♡
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister 