New Love

*For my grandfather who is 80+ and living to date another day. He is unstoppable even after outliving two wonderful wives.*

Love sick poetry
They thought he’d never see the day
Oh, Puppy Love how could you do him this way
Isn’t he far past such a feeling
Imagine what he’s been dreaming

Drawing hearts, ribbons and bows
Maybe her name inside his prose
Giddy with laughter
Everyone shaking their heads

What will we do with him they all said
They have no idea what to think
Putting away the romance novels, this guy is in deep
It’s honest, it’s true
Love after 60 can happen even for you

A Conversation With A Girl

“Well, it could have gone differently, I believe, but seeing how well it’s turned out, I’d say she dodged a bullet.”

Idiot. What did he know anyway, ‘how well it’s turned out’, give me a break!

His tires barked as he slammed his foot down on the gas pedal. Requesting the song, he shouted out to his car and flipped the volume way up. He wanted that song now! The music quickly started and everything his father had said began to drown out. Finally, now it didn’t matter where his car took him. His pulse began to lessen.

Turning left or right wasn’t his concern, frankly he couldn’t give a damn, as long as he put distance between them. Continue reading

Who Said The Word Snow? I’m Coming To Find You…

I’m quite upset this morning, don’t you see?

We were supposed to wake up screaming something like, “IT’S SNOWING!”

They let us know 19 hours too early, that school would be canceled today without thinking.

Whoopie! I’ll spend my day writing and baking. It’s just the weather to write of love-making.

I’ll keep the kettle hot for coffee, cocoa and tea, all the while children watch something on T.V.

No, I’m not up North and I haven’t moved back to the middle of this country.

You see, we’re still down here in cowboy country, but the snow apparently isn’t coming.

Texas had a winter warning, snow and ice it seemed, and me without my equipment for sledding.

I guess we’ll read and eat those muffins over there cooling.

Yes, eat them all day long, it seems.

We won’t get out of our jammies, I don’t care what you think.

Who closes school for a snow day 19 hours too early?

That would be Texas, we don’t have the road clearing means…

But please, wait until you see something happening.

Today, life was canceled for snow and ice.

I have two confused children who await explaining!

A Story From The Truck Diaries

You have to know that the three sisters, Oldest, Baby and Middle, love Big Brother’s truck. It doesn’t matter which truck he has at the time, whether he’s found one that’s bright red or brown. We adore the significance behind them. They are the epitome of Big Brother and many, if not most, of our memories include him with one.

Can we back track a second? I feel like I should explain something.

Is it important? You’ve updated us on a few things along this path that haven’t been relevant, if we’re being honest.

I actually do find this important, because it explains why…just listen.  Continue reading

Grow Up, Audrey Dawn, Geez!

Yeah, I said it. They should be ashamed of themselves. Big Brother, Baby and Middle had me visiting them in a whole new way. Somehow, we’d begun more of a physical visit than a typical mental visit. I suppose that’s what happens when one of us moves too far away.

I’m processing the fact that I didn’t capture the meaningful time with my siblings over Christmas that I had travelled so far to get. I mean, if anyone’s due for getting what she’d wanted it was me.

You should just be happy that you had a chance to see them.

I am, I assure you.  Continue reading

Reality

Get back here!
Right now!

Where have you gone?
Did I, your sister, say you could go?

Sadness sets in, but I refuse to let it take me.
It wasn’t my intension to let you get away so easily.

Back to life you and I must journey.
This vacation is killing me.

Puffy eyes, have I.
I’m acting pitifully.

Get over it, Aud!
This, my dear, reality.

Siblings

Time spent with family is a priceless gift. Enjoy the laughter, make memories and remember those you can’t be with today. I plan on calling my siblings this morning, so I can remind them of how adored they truly are by their Redheaded Sister. I don’t know who I’d be without them.

Blessings to you, my friends. I am a better person because of this blog of mine. The two voices, which never get heard, are singing loudly every day and shine through each post. Thank you for reading and for being a friend. Happy Thanksgiving!!

Siblings

Home

Miss home,

acquainted voices,

familiar contact,

identical laughter.

You

Miss you,

stories unheard,

parallel memories,

similar existence.

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Weeks, Huh?

This week while everyone is packing for trips back home, warming their kitchens in anticipation of Thanksgiving and planning their Black Friday shopping, I’ll be doing plenty of this, writing. A whole week off allows for me to catch up here, to read and relax with family and friends, who I’ve missed while trying to blog, teach, raise a family and eat.

All of these events I look forward to, but they won’t fully satisfy me this week.

I’ll be missing Big Brother, Middle Sister and Baby Sister too much to feel completely content. Unfortunately, this means everyone in our home will suffer greatly. We’ll be listening to a lot of very sad music and possibly be seen in our pajamas too much by the neighbors, but again, it’s an entire week off from school, so we’re entitled.

I laugh, but it’s true.

I look forward to Thursday, and all the cooking we’ll do as a family. We’ve never stayed home for Thanksgiving. I’ve never made a turkey, so this ought to be an experience, one I may never live down, but we charge forward anyway. I mean, Carpe diem, right? I’ll make everything that Grandma Maxine used to have on her table, all but the oyster stuffing. I can’t say we’ll have anyone making requests to have this at our table.

We’ll give thanks, enjoy each other’s company and relax while we call home to see about the family.

I may even throw in a few terribly clichéd family movies such as Smokey and the Bandit, The Man From Snowy River, Weird Science, Overboard or Six Pack. I have clearly carved these movies out in my mind as family movies, because Big Brother always had control of the television or VCR.

Imagine three sisters being forced to endure these movies. Yeah, seemed a bit brutal back in the day, but now I stop to watch them. It seems they provide a nice little day-dream about being with my siblings during the holidays.

When everyone goes to bed, I may then watch movies that remind me of my sisters. First up, I’ll watch Finding Neverland, which is about my favorite playwright J.M. Barrie. This movie will remind me of how much fun we had playing as children. Not near as much fun as the children on the screen, but we enjoyed each other’s company. Imagine as a child having an influence like J.M. Barrie. Yes, go on, imagine it.

What a delight it would have been, huh?

I’ll move on to girly movies like When a Man Loves a Woman, Dirty Dancing, Sixteen Candles, and Mermaids. I’ll save Mermaids for last, because I’ll need to make sure everyone is fully asleep before I cry my eyes out. This one, is truly only meant to be watched with Middle and Baby on either side of me on the couch.

Since we’re not together this year, I’ll go it alone.

After I watch a few brother driven family favorites and cry through a few lonely sister movies, I’ll find myself needing to eat something. By something, I mean everything I can find, which is what one does when feeding emotions. Of course, I’ll eat food that reminds me of home. Mostly it’ll be comfort food and then a side of beef, because you don’t come from Middle America and eat fish when missing family, you just don’t.

I’ll make sure I’ve stocked the pantry with chocolate, everything I need to bake my famous chocolate chip cookies, salads with pudding as a main ingredient, pasta with lots of cheese, chips and dip, and a small appearance by Little Debbie’s snacks.

So yeah, it should be fun and you should definitely stick around this week and see how it plays out. It may turn into an on-screen love affair with J.M. Barrie. It could be that my two children will created havoc about the house, like the children in the movie Overboard.

Oh, and I wouldn’t count out the possibility of a dramatic finish: my death by Little Debbie, often a coin flip when I’m not with my siblings for the holidays. I giggle at the thought, yet look forward to my week.

I’m a Shoulder Raiser, But I Make It Look Cute

I wasn’t going to do it. Then I decided I was. I decided again that I wasn’t. But then I decided I was…in the end, I didn’t.

Have you ever had one of these days? I’m having one. I admit that I am notorious for being a terrible decision maker. I may even have a bumper sticker that says so. I don’t have one, but I suppose I should. I’ve been wrestling with why I’m a constant shoulder raiser and shrugger. Admit it, you just raised your shoulder a bit and then dropped it while thinking, “I don’t care…” I’ve not come up with any hardcore reasons of explanation for my inability to make a decision, but these three could be part of the problem.

I could say that it’s because I was raised with three siblings who always had an opinion on what to do for fun, just ask them, they’ll agree. Yes, possibly, it’s in my personality to be a bit of a pushover. At some point, don’t we grow out of requiring ourselves to be polite and agreeable towards going with the flow? I can’t say for sure this is the reason why. The only other explanation I have is that I truly enjoy living life through other people’s eyes. I’m game for just about anything, as long as it’s reasonable.

Growing up with siblings taught me a variety of lessons. I’ve already given you a small look into our roles with my post on birth order and how it seemingly shaped our relationships. Many of us, who were raised in a family with siblings, can relate to the concept of taking turns during childhood. We’ve all been pulled along for a sibling’s big event. We’ve sat through their wish list opportunities over and over again. We learned how to rationalize why often times their need turned out to be a bit more important than our need or wish on any given day. Taking turns is what we do to survive growing up. It still isn’t without its struggles.

I understand that as children we didn’t quietly hand over the baton. I have the battle wounds to prove it. Let me just get real with you for a second, long finger nails do serious damage to arms. Ouch. So I’m not saying we were good at it in the beginning, but in the end we got it figured out and learned to enjoy each others accomplishments. As a result, we often times prefered each other’s company and enjoyed the randomness of our events, because we were also friends. It was easy to allow for their ideas to be the best idea. I relied on it often, it was easier on me.

Yeah, I’m also a pushover, yet I prefer you call me a pleaser, and it gets me into trouble. I’ll never forget the year I agreed to be my son’s first grade room parent. The yes’, the sures and the I’d love toos are in major abundance when you take on a job like that. I had no idea what I’d agreed to do or that a year’s salary would go towards keeping that classroom afloat. Wow, now that’s some going with the flow you can’t prepare yourself for, no matter how you slice it. There are way more qualified people for that job and they want it, so I gladly hand that over and take on the role as the doer. You live and you learn, my friends.

I like being a little worker bee, just give me the job and I’ll do it. I’ll do it quickly and correctly. I’ll do it that way because I have my own agenda and would like to get back to it. Yes, I’m a bit selfish, too. I’m happy to help, but I like what I like when I like it, so don’t push it too far.

What’s wrong with going with the flow? I like making people happy. To me, it seems natural to devote time to their event and watch the faces of those I love enjoy life. Recently, I was asked to help make a decision on where to have dinner. It seems easy enough and you get to offer up an idea that will make you super happy. Should be a no brainer, right? Don’t ask me that one. Especially if you also don’t make decisions well, we’ll be on that merry-go-round for a long time and the bottle of wine we drink while deciding, will keep us from going anywhere. We’ll have to order in. Be my guest, decide where we’re going. I’ll give you my opinion and if I’ve been there recently, I’ll let you know, but I’ll still go with you.

Yeah, I know, lay down on the couch, Aud.

When I have a great idea we’ll get to it, I have faith we will, so no hurry.  I’m much easier to entertain than some folks, but what I do have an opinion on rarely gets modified. I dig my heals in. Shrugging my shoulder seems, simply enough, like an allowance of the opportunity to enjoy, so take me up on it. What I really want to do, I’m usually doing already, so the joke could be on the other person. It’s their time and attention I was craving, so I already got what I wanted.

This spoken by a true sister.

An Epic Journey ~ Part 2

Part 2 – If you didn’t get to read Part 1 (due to WordPress shenanigans yesterday, I’d start back there first…)

We were all in the river and our gear was in tow. We had our river shoes on and favorite cups in hand. The tube with the cooler was attached to my husband’s inner tube, because he’d offered to take on that responsibility, thinking that’s all he’d have to keep up with today.

I mean, how hard was it going to be? The most trouble he was going to have, was making consistent throws as he tossed up a fresh beverage and located the empties into the yellow mesh bag, which dangled from the side of his tube. Yes that’s right we were recycling, too.

It just so happens that the birds were singing. The sun was out and the river water was moving. It was going to be a beautiful day for tubing. We were doing our duty. We were prepared. We were off for some Texas Frio fun. IMG_0437

We all joked with the friends we were leaving behind, as they set up the chairs in our normal spot. It provided a beautiful view of the river and a scenic view of the cabin. It also offered the perfect position to watch the children go to and fro. We decided those staying behind were going to miss out on a lot of laughter. They had determined that we were going to end up wishing we had stayed put. Staying meant getting to be just a few yards from the AC and access to a deep swimming hole, which the others thought seemed logical. A no brainer.

What did they know?

So, I’d been given a final offer to listen to the smart people. The Holy Spirit had whispered in my ear…”Stay, Aud. You’ll wish you had.”

I’d decided to ignore Him, sealed my fate right there didn’t I? 😉 Continue reading

An Epic Journey ~ Part 1

The tubes were rented and the sunscreen had been applied, we were ready for the float trip of our lives….

~ The events that are about to unfold are being told from the best of my memory. Some events I’ve blocked out, others are still raw and most of the ones which offer up the nocturnal nightmares are being dealt with appropriately, with tequila.

It had been a great vacation with friends. The open air was surrounding us and we had been appropriately lazy for three days straight. If we weren’t doing a quick load of laundry or whipping up something for the kids to eat, we were sitting in the Frio River water. When you didn’t find us there you could usually locate us up the street, possibly looking for souvenirs, buying ice for the coolers or picking up a pecan pie from the sweetest old woman inside a hut. Someone should write a book about her one day. She’d beat the pants off the Old Woman who lived in a shoe or Old Lady who swallowed a fly. This was the Old Grandmother who made pie.  Continue reading

Redheaded Sister’s Saddness

I miss my sisters.
I need them today.
A feeling only sisters should witness, has come to stay.

The words I shutter, please find me, I pray.
You can lay your head on my shoulder.
The only act I need, please come and sit with me.

I want you to twirl my red curls around your finger.
As you lay your leg across my knee.
I wanna be near you and wait for my heart to relax.

It’s been through all shapes and sizes for far too long.
Living away still confuses me, am I on the right track?
My heart wonders around looking for truth.

Up and down it goes as my mind searches for you.
Which way to turn for safety, I cannot rightly say
Without your voice I am lost today.

I desire the words that ring honestly true,
“Oh Auddie…we need you.”

It’s Been A Long Time Friends

Today is a silly story kind of day. I’m feeling very happy and extremely energized, so right off I’m thinking today is going to be fantastic. For starters, I’m not working! Yay, half day of uninterrupted writing for me. This is so super exciting, are ya feelin’ me? Then on top of that, we get to discuss friendship tonight, oh boy. 1095037_538267882889558_1712157000_n

Do I have something to say about that! 

Continue reading

Domestic Life

Domestic Life

I recently went through a museum with my husband and son. They have been on a six year tour of Texas, going from place to place soaking in as much history as they possibly can. I’ve enjoyed about 75% of it.

On this day it was more like 4%, so when I saw this particular quote, I nearly lost it. The same could be said for modern Texas, although I think the oxen have been taken out of the equation. Still pondering how the oxen pulled that off, oh well.

I’m enjoying Texas through the eyes of men.

My Goals? Off to Heaven in a Wheelbarrow, That’s Where.

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My problem is that I wanna be funny, too. I tried, I set myself up to try.

But I can’t. So now I’m pissed, I’m annoyed and most importantly, I’m disappointed.

I set out yesterday to do something fun, a pick me up, so I could be witty today. I wanted to create a post that produced laughter for all of my readers. I wanted to show that I can be ever so sweet, nice and funny, too.

Yesterday, I set goals for today’s post.

  1. I was going to encourage others to smile.
  2. I was going to spark creative goals for a fellow blogger.
  3. I was going to poke fun at myself for another’s enjoyment.

I haven’t written ‘funny’ yet. I’ve been too busy working through my reasons for hesitation. Continue reading

Can You Pass The Tissues? I Have Issues…

SAMSUNG

Dear Daughter,

I want to begin with an I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I wish I could take the whole day back.

I tried to remind God, while pregnant with you, that it wouldn’t be a good idea to give me a little girl. He disagreed and you came into the world with my red hair, freckles and chubby cheeks. I didn’t know how to be a girl myself, how was I going to teach you to be a better girl? I stressed and worried for months about raising a daughter. I feared all the girly things I’d need to explain one day. More importantly, I feared having the right answers when you came to me with questions.

I’ve tried, I have, honestly.

I knew the day was coming… I just didn’t think it through. I’m sorry. Continue reading