It was always okay
For me to be me
To tend to others
And giggle like i was free
It was always a good time
If i intently gave my attention
To those surrounding
Eager for affection
The smile i offered
It was always a lie
Unseen; no one who mattered
Tied up inside
lays her heart
most intimately
before you,
softness
a gift,
this blush on her form,
a part of who she is
but when you touch her
the perfection becomes yours
Droplets soothe
Atop declared property,
Sprinklings offer care, such
Valiant beading seen.
Overwhelms beautifully,
Such devotion
Heals, thank you.
her lack of confidence,
deep within,
sails past most
as they watch
day to day,
so intriguing, she,
a soul they want close.
Then One leans in,
comes a little closer,
sensing her heart,
listening.
The wait he’ll entertain,
a point of patience given,
proof of his ability
to see her,
and who she is,
true acceptance shown, granted.
The beginning of what is
meant to be,
his devotee.
Eyes not yet connected
Souls searched routinely,
Understanding
Inevitable,
You breathe, I breathe.
Reconcile
Our belonging,
Lead me
Hey, Sweetie
Dad’s reassuring greet
I’ve just always expected
Weather’s calm
Dad’s predictability
Bring snacks for the backseat
Asking where to, and then
Do you know where we are
Just look for the sun
Stay calm
Know this will also pass
He has prepared me
my question begs, how do I remain,
remain without wanting to compete
compete for your attention
attention you offer willingly
willingly, but at what cost
cost may be greater
greater than you realize
realize first, I’m in love
love, found adamant in a terra-cotta sky
*Loop Poem
The Map
She awaits the sound of crinkling paper, the frustrations of folding it just right
The groan of exhaling, and the twinkle in his eyes
An open road before them with nothing to lose
And a love fated for eternity, who knew it would be you.
Yours,
Audrey Dawn
powdered sugar spring
covering sprouts emerging
blanketed with hope
if bound
she is, because
she wants to be. Or
is she just that afraid
of abandonment, again.
Not your fault, I often question
Not your fault, I’m broken
Not your fault, you couldn’t ever understand my uncertainty.
Not your fault, my trust is hard to gain.
Not your fault, when often I’m distant or confused,
Not your fault, my conversation skills.
Not your fault, I’m used to my own silence
Not your fault, I don’t know which way to turn
Not your fault, I can’t process receiving concern
Not your fault, I discipline myself
Not your fault, I stay in control
Not your fault, I’m a soft shouldered girl.
Not your fault, I can’t talk
Not your fault, I come from two parents who were lost
Not your fault, I need so much
Not your fault, I feel less than
Not your fault, I can’t make it easy,
Not your fault, you deserve a Queen
intuition gives
intellect’s vast questioning
truth we want denied
It wasn’t until now,
as I humbly take you in,
that I understand love.
It wasn’t until now,
feeling you all the more,
I realize I have experienced devotion.
It wasn’t until now,
while sat here cherishing you,
my decision to try is simple.
it’s how you sound
in your constant
here I am,
I’m not leaving
lap of consistency,
that turns me into
a believer.
even the glisten within
total darkness proves
you are you,
as swirls reach out
to touch me,
to quench.
I won’t miss the doubt,
fear
or the hiding.
complete submersion
into you,
heals.
I hope your Easter is full of love. ♡
she would guard him
through the night, devoted
and into every storm
knowing she belonged there, too
maybe writing this out will help me compartmentalize my thoughts
there are so many distractions as of late
The new year came in with swords drawn and a battle ensued
one I’m currently within
I’ve been rude to those around me when it was never my intention
maybe inside a daydream isn’t where I should reside, only making life worse
tangible moments, proof they exist, is where my heart currently lives
Faith begins and ends my day, serving makes sense inside my head
an inability to understand is fine, just accept me for who I am
all praise honor and glory be, yes to the Father,
and then it’s he.
He who is out there, slowly keeping pace
would begin and end my moments, but that’s only what I need.
no desire left to chase, fearful of ending back in a place where questioning motive and truth controls my each and every day.
does peace exist? are relationships worth creating…
me who’s father was gone too much, a mother who left all together
how do I believe this isn’t the pattern,
it’s happened, one after the other.
leaning into the belief, if love is meant to be
easing into a life alone, tending to sheep and children who are all too soon grown, where will I go?
Listening for the answers I know my God has planned, I pray I don’t mess this up
looking down at my empty hands.
knowing each and every piece given to me for care,
is one I’m made for and a joy to prepare.
powdered in pale pink
tranquility becomes her
touch depreciates
