College Life: Day One – Hippies Do Not Eat People, Audrey

Posted on by

Our family vehicle was full of my life’s possessions and it had been driven for over five hours by my father. We were cruising down the interstate talking, and car shopping. All the important father daughter conversations being prompted by anything found beside the road. I was trying pretty hard to make it a memorable trip. This was our last weekend together living as a family. It was fun, well until we ran out of gas.

“What happened? This is a brand new truck! It must be a computer chip!” he’d said

I remember him turning and looking at me confused, possibly bewildered, if a cowboy can feel that way. He and I looked at each other at about the same time and realized what we’d done. We’d forgotten to fuel up after lunch. The day had been a bit distracting, I’m quite sure, and we returned to the interstate without the fuel we’d known was needed in order to make it all the way into the city. The city that was to be my new home.  Continue reading →

The Journey

Posted on by

. . . So it matters to me . . .

. . . A deliberate path . . .

. . . Time taken, care advised . . .

. . . Focus the journey and stay alive . . .

. . . Mustn’t allow my weakness to flow . . .

. . . It’s all a game, don’t you know . . .

. . . Scratch that, it isn’t you see . . .

. . . My past crushed me . . .

. . . My present a healing hell . . .

. . . My future deliberate, one only I can tell . . .

A Story From The Truck Diaries

Posted on by

You have to know that the three sisters, Oldest, Baby and Middle, love Big Brother’s truck. It doesn’t matter which truck he has at the time, whether he’s found one that’s bright red or brown. We adore the significance behind them. They are the epitome of Big Brother and many, if not most, of our memories include him with one.

Can we back track a second? I feel like I should explain something.

Is it important? You’ve updated us on a few things along this path that haven’t been relevant, if we’re being honest.

I actually do find this important, because it explains why…just listen.  Continue reading →

Grow Up, Audrey Dawn, Geez!

Posted on by

Yeah, I said it. They should be ashamed of themselves. Big Brother, Baby and Middle had me visiting them in a whole new way. Somehow, we’d begun more of a physical visit than a typical mental visit. I suppose that’s what happens when one of us moves too far away.

I’m processing the fact that I didn’t capture the meaningful time with my siblings over Christmas that I had travelled so far to get. I mean, if anyone’s due for getting what she’d wanted it was me.

You should just be happy that you had a chance to see them.

I am, I assure you.  Continue reading →

Change Is Good

Posted on by

I know, the holidays are offically over now. Sad? Shall we take a moment? Better? Me, too. Let’s hug it out. Okay, great!

I’m processing the much anticipated visit that I had with my three siblings, in Nebraska, a few weeks ago. In retrospect, I’m very disappointed in Big Brother, Baby and Middle. Actually, they should be ashamed of themselves. Their behavior was out of line. I believe I was suckered into being made to look like a clown, but I’ll let you be the judge.

Continue reading →

Gray Clouds of Doubt

Posted on by

image

I see you there little leaf in the tree,

Are you hanging there to scare me?

I can’t quiet seem to figure you out,

Maybe you’re here to distract or calm my doubts?

Why do you continue to hold on?

Don’t you know all the others have gone?

Do you see a future that others did not see?

Why would you choose to wait with me?

Being left alone does not frighten this lady, only strengthens, I believe.

Go along and find the others, I see them all waiting curiously.

Don’t trouble yourself with lingering here now, honestly

Not Another Award Post! No! But, It’s Me: Audrey

Posted on by

Okay, its award time. Trust me, this has been a long time coming. I am way behind in thanking everyone for encouraging me. I have to say that I was surprised at the amount of friends I have to thank. Some of you shocked me. I didn’t even know you were reading my posts. For the record, I have a special place in my heart for you quiet readers. I happen to be one on occasion.

This is a long post. I’ve tried to speed it up as best I can without taking away from the bloggers who truly need a push and the recognition. Please forgive my writing errors today. I’m not going to say I didn’t spell check, because it may be the only thoughtful correcting I did for you.

We’ve got to get to this quick, as you all know how much work goes in to posting and pasting all of this important information. I want to make sure I get it correct for all of us. Just please know I am thrilled to have my badges on the side of my blog and am thankful for such a supportive group of followers. Okay, this is going to be fun, I promise.
Continue reading →

Solemn Battle

Posted on by 
Written for Professor VJ Duke, the keeper of The Punchy Lands!
He's a constant supporter of mine. I hold him quite dear.
Read of his Punchies , his land is captivating.
The professor commanded me to write of swords.
I confessed that swords and I had no history.
I insisted I wouldn't know how.
Then Jolly Holiday happened just before Christmas,
I wrote of my experience and then created this,
my first published sonnet, a lyric piece of dramatic poetry.
Thank you, Duke. Thanks for pushing me to write of swords,
I would have never known of the therapeutic release otherwise, my friend.

*******************

Slumped shoulders proved to me that you were about to let him win…

Come on!
Get up and fight!
The war in your mind is still raging 
Snuff out the voices which keep you down
Show me you have the will to kill

Reveal!
Show your battle arms and let the scars open
Stand tall against his approach, do you hear
Dead in the eyes the only way to abdicate him
Remember, diverted eyes can show your fear

Raise!
Your trusted hand which tightly anchors the hilt
Thrust that sword through the air
Make contact early and release any guilt
The awaited battle ensues, you'll take that dare

Step Back!
Let him show his wounds, see what it proves
Warm blood, let them all have a view
Oh! Claret upholds your technique
Nay, he didn't have a clue

Attack!
Veer left, yes again and proper
You wear the armor of a Knight
Keep revealing the ante of war 
Show him your quick and mighty flight

Go!
He'll take you further, no doubt
Sword drawn, go at him again
He desires a severed conclusion
Eternally, your life not his to end

Stomp!
Yes, towards his sword, Anon!
Do not take your eyes off him
This is your archaic dream
Shan't let him win

Quick! Quick!
Force him to back up!

Now Charge!
Right hand push forward
Oh! Come around - chase him down
No, didn't see that side either
He found a piece of you, this is fear

Get Up!
Make it fast he'll charge your weakness
Remove your hand of your side, center yourself
He's back with full vengeance
Recovery, yes, that's the plan

Show!
Your determination to end him
Feel the pressure as the sword slides in
Fight to end his creation and all consumes
Make him pay for perpetrating you

Stop!
Speak of triumphing words
Remind him of the joy you'll feel
While ending this tiresome battle 
Oh Please, believe in supremacy still

Remember!
As he slowly approaches you again
Taunting with smiles employed by evil
Remember, you fight for good
Defeating him: the conquest of all brave men

Prepare!
He'll sense any admittance of shortcomings
Qualify all beliefs, the end is near
Center your sword, Wise One
Prove to him nevermore in error

Listen!
To the voice inside your cunning belfry
You mustn't ignore the wicked one
He's there to keep you justly alive
You'll toss him out after the battle is done

Wait!
For him, he's calculating
His timing will be perfect, it seems
Sadly, his sword just as mighty
Yet, powered by all evil deeds

Don't!
Not too soon, this fight is yours to win
You can't allow for mistakes this night
Keep your grip strong, your mind sharp
Recall, the moral Ninja in this fight

Control!
The feet which want to go advancing
Your timing is all you have
Sun setting, this match predestined
Phantoms of happily ever after awaken

Fight!
Right, left, right!
Charge forward, Warrior
Use the hands on your blade, gather the battler
Pull the darkness towards you

Tonight!
Spin your wrist, force his sword away
Did you see him fronting near the end
Evil lost his footing, gain the ground which separates
Finish him!

Mighty!
Pull that sword back
Cease the fight, attack!
Slice life from him, left to right
Exactly what you wanted, true? To end him?

What?
Didn't you see?
Your sword played wickedly
Skill pulled the sword from his hands
End this battle just as we planned

Just Believe!
He's left unarmed, your chance to be free
Your eyes stay connected, questioning him urgently
To see your sword drawn so violently
Then to watch you walk away, Amazing

That's Right!
I like that smile
You know you've won, why end him at all
There's nothing he could have done
The power between your shoulders
Well, it has only just begun 

*******************************

Hmm?
What are you doing
How is it that you're carving
Something into that tree

How Interesting!
You're using your sword
caressing the golden award winning beast
The tip seems to be carving brilliantly

A Ring?
Is it true!
You finished it rather quickly, 'twas said to you
Mesmerizing to watch the katana now so clean
Sword takes an About-face to your protective side now clinging

So! 
Upon closer inspection, as you wait for my opinion
I pull out my ink, simple letters to be appended
Amidst the ring a simple phrase created - WORD!

Laughter!
I ruffle your hair and replace my pen.
Let's get on with it then.

(By golly, I think she's done it.)

What My Mind Does For You

Posted on by

image

Hurry night, I’ve something waiting!

I have dreaming of tomorrows to show you

Wild thoughts I continue to prepare

Oh! What my mind does for you.

Proving what you can do, will do.

I lift you up through the clouds

I love to watch you strut about!

Thoughts of you, anticipating

Tomorrow, I beg you to open up

Show me what you’re needing

Maybe you’ll consume all of me

Tomorrow, you suit my dreams

I know my mind, I know it well

It isn’t safe

I shouldn’t go

Oh, but I will

Well Wouldn’t Ya Know It

Posted on by

I came across some interesting news over the holidays. Did you know that if you Google my name, Audrey Dawn, the first page of info will be about porn? Yes, that’s right, Audrey Dawn is a porn star, as well. Let’s cue the music, shall we?

Bow Chica Wow Wow…

I have to say that I’m pretty thrilled she isn’t a redhead. Can you imagine me trying to explain away that misunderstanding? The details are sketchy but I’m fairly certain that my physical features do not mirror hers. I can almost hear the stampede of men leaving right now to investigate. Thanks a lot guys.

I’ve got to get to my point and quick.

So yeah, curiosity hit me. I Googled Audrey Dawn. Oh joy! I share my name with a few others as well, just none with a profession as exciting as porn. Porn Audrey Dawn is a character from a movie. The movie is from a few years ago. The actress who played her is also linked to our name. What I’m wondering now is can I overcome the rather “large” presence and possible domain over our name. Can I possibly become the #1 Audrey Dawn without resorting to porn?

I did a lot of reading over the holidays and everyone is talking about change. I read about new blogging directions, stats, growing an audience, and even marketing yourself. It wasn’t my intention to learn more, basically I fell right into it here on WordPress. I found it interesting. Actually, I found that the why it’s important to us was much more compelling.

The ultimate goal is in front of all of us. I suppose very few are as unaware as I am as to where the finish line’s located. It’s here somewhere. I remember reading about it and maybe even seeing a picture once.

We should follow strong and seasoned writers. The best sellers of the world have much to say and we should entertain it. I also find it imperative to follow writers who seem to be running the same speed. If you’d like, I’ll read to you of Tortoise and the Hare. I understand the reasons for keeping pace with those you want to challenge or overtake. It’s when it becomes too important that I worry. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. You are where you’re supposed to be right now. You’ll get to those other places when you’re meant to and not a page sooner.

I didn’t want to discover this Google information, but I wonder if I’m stuck with it now. Am I always going to be Second Page Audrey Dawn? Is there a chance that I can overcome Porn Audrey Dawn? I lean towards waving a white flag and accepting my place in Google’s rankings.

I mean I’m good, but I’m not that good. She’s working with plastics, make-up and good lighting. I simply have make-up, blue ink in my pen and clean white paper. Do you hear her sinking my battleship? You weren’t supposed to say yes.

Oh! Never fear, Aud’s here and I’m going to overcome all the other Audrey Dawns because I’m a glutton for punishment.

I figure I can:

1. give it all I’ve got.

2. keep my eye on the prize.

3. have spark in my sparkle.

4.  can be all I can be.

5. beat her at the Audrey Dawn Game.

What I’ve learned from this experience is that when you start wondering about yourself it makes me wonder about myself. Yeah, I know. I have bigger problems yet to face. Your posts executed my thinking on how unaware I am over how I’m doing. I caved. I Googled myself and now it seems that I’ll be searching myself a lot more frequently to see how I’m measuring against her. (No, I won’t.)

My guess is that very few of you are competing with a story about porn. Scratch that, everyone seems to be competing with porn, so I should focus on what I was doing before I Googled my name. Anyone else get the sense that I’m talking to myself? Even the woman are like…Well just let me go have a look…

I think I’ll investigate Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister from now on and leave Audrey Dawn alone for a while.

You’re gone, Gone, GONE

Posted on by

The party’s over
The bags are packed and by the door
Don’t you dare leave me, not again
You’re gone gone gone
I’ve loved you forever and back
You’ve been here since the beginning
I’ve not had to ask for your forgiveness
You understand what I’ve been through
A similar path, me and you
Lost in translation for others, it is true
I promised to tell a story
This I will do

Merry Christmas

Posted on by

Merry Christmas

According to my daughter, even as far back as Christ’s birth, all new parents go through the same insecurities.

I’ve never laughed so hard….

Merry Christmas!

As Christmas Eve begins I want to take a few minutes to thank you all for being part of this blog with me. Each comment you were brave enough to make made me feel like I was becoming more and more welcome in your world.

Thank you for being part of my world.

The effort you make to stop by and read my thoughts humbles me and is a true act of kindness. I love every Like and Comment you’ve bestowed upon Oldest Daughter – Red Headed Sister.

Oh! The awards! I will be thanking you for them ASAP. This month has been so exciting as you acknowledge my efforts to find my voice.

Thank you. The past eight months have been a precious gift. I am so thankful for the strength I found back in April to give blogging a chance. The rewards have been priceless.

Thank you, Jesus for always knowing just what this red head needs.

Merry Christmas,

Audrey Dawn –
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister