Lacking The Sight of Me

I hear regret in his voice
the mistake I was for him,

my soul aches in monochrome,
but yellow lives in bursts like Spring
and a Pink Ladies leafless show
I’ve seen purple, as if born from the eyes of kings,
and verdant in twilight’s glow.

the blues of Poseidon’s seas
and red from a rose;
white clouds in pristine,
and brown where life grows.
who wouldn’t want a girl like me

***

Been thinking a lot the last few minutes on how we teach toddlers the correct way to be social humans. The act of placing them in time out until they understand the lesson. Requesting they stay there until they’ve been told they’re allowed to rejoin the group.

We do the same sort of training on puppies, asking them to sit and stay until the command is given to release and enjoy.

Over a year ago I fell in love again. I fell hard for him. A future with someone had all the components needed to be successful, I truly believed. My mind is a beautiful place to be when love is the theme.

The qualities I look for/drawn to are simple.

Continue reading

I’m In Love

I’m in love with being in love.
There’s nothing I have visioned for myself that excites me more.

I hear laughter
Eye squints as their sparkle escapes
I feel that upon my face.

Silly grins
Dimples no longer hidden within
The true marking of contentment
And its offer of grace.

The best of friends welcoming
Challenges – happy endings -frustrations.
Holding hands, connecting spirits
Building a firm foundation.

Take me there, widen the span of
Love’s true existence
Birth the eve of beginnings
And wrap me in the arms of the one
Who needs me.

Too much?

Listening to this on repeat today. And then my daily reading has me brought to tears. (As does much of what I’m reading today. A message is supposed to get to me, I think.

It has me focused on the last three words.

What woman doesn’t want to hear this from the man she’s devoted to? I cling to the idea love like this exists. I’m a hopeless romantic and a sucker for true devotion.

Pitiful Girl.

Adding the entire reading, as it might be helpful to another.

But This Is What I Do

I fall hard
but this is what I do.
I imagine long walks,
you pointing out the vision
I see as reality,
but this is what I do.
I picture myself as a flower,
each petal adored, even
in her simplicity,
but this is what I do.
The vast Midwestern skyline
of Nebraska takes me to
where you are daily, and I pray
but this is what I do.
I wander inside of a daydream
where we exist as one,
but this is what I do.

Torn

I
love
love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
its been all I can think about,
it’s all I knew to say,
it’s all my fault,
I’m to blame.
i could have just said,
i want to sleep with you.
can i climb in.
goodnight.
thank you, for seeing me.
i wish i could feel your touch.
tell me you’re pleased.
If I had known this is what you were prepared to hear…
I would have.
Because now, I’m just scared.

*once broken, surrendering love is never easy, but then sometimes thats all there is, an existence arrives and so we do.