I watched the sun set tonight. She is such a beauty sliding behind the cedars.
Favorite game – hide and seek.
Her curve seems to hug “just right”around the tips, and well, I guess I’ve always thought so…
A small smile turned up around my cheeks, a flushing of pink appeared,
and then I thanked her for rising this morning.
As if to wink, she paused and then moved on, as one should, I suppose.
despite what looms around her,
the past
the expectations
the privilege
the power
the beauty
the silence
she chooses to try.
she begins at the bottom,
alone – yet, her
confidence is exposed as petals stretch.
amethyst her signature,
and starlet her pose,
the climbing inevitable, but
she’s worth it,
and you know.
Yours, Audrey
a vision to enjoy,
breathe
rustic and pristine.
with an ounce of curiosity
I dream,
what stories are held within-
is this beauty, as she stands,
left for the taking,
or is someone keeping watch?
left to her own devises,
her strength must continue, remain hopeful in winter.
alone amongst the blanket of snow, she screams forlorn,
however you see her and she remains yours.
might she be worth the risk?
what is time without a watchful eye,
til color fades, we mustn’t
gray tones allow hope
say it is so, dear one.
how is it my hands feel the road and its bumps,
while tires roll atop –
proof we’ve been here before
and what a journey it was.
clouds become pillows,
for murmurs under the sheets,
and the rain in the distance
a melody I remember and
cherish, please believe.
today is full of beauty, I smirk
yet again.
passionate in the ordinary I shall remain,
and glimpses of tomorrows
shall nudge me forward,
across the plains.
in sunlit arching
rays warming stretched limbs
begging for a place
to admire – positive judgement
assume greatness
adoration – deepened affection
fulfilled within greatness
to consume – accede desire
ravenous acts of duty
obssess – diminish reality
mistreat self
treasures kept sheltered
harbored closely within
delicate layers possibly
sought after, one day
keenly aware, yet
hesitant to believe in
their existence,
he’ll seek
may she be found adequate,
even desirable,
arguably – his purpose,
one day
contagious; the hum created
faster rubber, faster
goosebumps
sideways smile, slight dimple
upon me
the possibilities await
and the doves coo’d this morning
peruse, but take care;
vulnerable: only the prelude to what is needed when describing her.
sensuous verdure, yet saffron is shy’s color in nature.
Autumn breezes by
she feels him upon her skin
and she yearns for more, His protection everything.
sometimes it is easier
to allow the tears to fall,
warmly sit, and watch the sun set.
praying quietly for love
to come and conquer all,
lover, are you listening yet?
If I wrote of awe struck
as cliché as it is
would you listen in interest
or out of duty, as it has been
my desires remain
a dove who coos without being asked, annoys me
this continuous reverberation
creates a rhythm
and my eyes roll.
the joy with which he calls
slaps me across the face,
he stops as if he knows
and I laugh, recross my legs and continue to rock this chair.
your glow is more of a tone
and upon me
your hold is mounting.
I shiver as you enter,
your rumble a possession
of what my soul is lacking
and I beg you, come.
As the cardinal calls, ” Here. Here. Here.” Over and over again until I stop and look up into the tree and we connect.
This I get and the pleasure is indescribable.
5/2/2020
Spent the day in the city with my daughter.
We parked downtown, walked for what felt like miles, the early hustle smelled delightful.
Saw colors in every direction.
We laughed, we sampled stores out of our comfort zone, drinks, food, books, music and art, as well. Our eyes sparkled in intrest.
We danced through walkways, giggled past what we knew we’d never understand, and held hands.
We reintroduced ourselves to chopsticks via YouTube and introduced ourselves to the sushi bar & spicy tuna.
We mused how shy girls could ever possibly find their voice, and teared up when the Columbian bracelets we admired were made for those who needed to learn how to communicate.
We wear matching aquamarine stone bracelets now, and thanked fate for bringing our conversation, in the car ride over, full circle.
We painted and sang without a care in the world. Allowing who we are a place of comfort – us, showing our little girl.
Busy streets we drove on and found parking within offered an exciting challenge,
But something changed inside of me as my daughter confessed,
“Momma, look at all we did just us – no men.
No brother, no daddy, …”
At 15 she felt empowered and ready for another adventure to begin.
Of course, my daughter, you are right. I’ve taught you how to live.
I mused quietly to myself, yes, yet again…
Just wait.
One day you’ll feel your hand within his,
or its warmth guiding you at the small of your back,
you’ll stand a bit taller with his palm holding your elbow, as you move along,
his stature in true protection will leave you in awe,
and his voice in your ear, at the end of the night, the one making up a lullaby song,
will be the reason doing life alone feels so wrong.
I refuse to be
To be the girl who doesn’t
Who dosen’t show you
Show you what and who I am
Who I am, I adore
I adore what makes me, me
Me, me the woman who tries
Who tries to be everything
Be every thing, to everyone
To every one, sadly, I cannot
I cannot be all of perfection
Of perfection, unobtainable, so notice me
Notice me inspite of what I’m not
I’m not the lady I once thought
Once thought who’d always create
Always create the poetry I desire
I desire sharing my soul
My soul aches towards connection
Towards connection I find completeness
Find completeness within myself
Within myself there is growth
Is growth enough for me
For me, it must be
Must be the sun found rising
Found rising outside my window
My window, compass in the kitchen
The kitchen where I sense you
Sense you up against me
Against me and deeply breathing
Deeply breathing in my essence
My essense, an offer only for you
For you, I will remain.
imagine with me, if you will
red dirt dusted
upon his boots,
the chair otherworldly
a product of sturdy,
lean legs crossed
relaxed.
smokey eyes intent on
the crown of the moon
and sun before him
a sigh,
twilight.
aware of every shift, made upon his domain,
cheekbones defined
as he contemplates
his tomorrow.
I see him,
and all I need is to
worship him.
wait with me for awhile
I’m little,
still valuable.
I live amongst grandiose,
stunning and unpredictable,
humans love them for their ability, acknowledge
the beauty they possess.
See me trying, blushing even
as my shape finishes form,
little, but striving,
will I be yours?
***
What I Would Have Shown You
delights in lemon; yellows and gold
no brawny
epitome of prophecy, in sunshine.
daylight
randomness of her existence
mostly kept
yet everyone’s caught sight
***
What I Would Have Shown You
He’s my muse,
Maybe he’s forgotten,
Unable to feel
My arms,
How I’ve wrapped them
So many times,
Squeezing tighter,
Within my mind.
He’s the attraction
I adore,
The lust upon my tongue,
Yet I cannot reach him.
Left.
Aching with want
Living amongst the borderline,
Of am I enough.
I yearn for his trust,
As he longs for my mind,
If I give it away –
Then what?
He’s mine – my wish,
Like a daisy chain around
My neck; a gift.
I’d wear him with pride,
If he’d ask.
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister 