The Beholder

Driving the farthest eastern reaches of the Sandhills as this scene beckoned. Was it the water, sunset or hills calling names? The topography, a sensuous mastermind, plays within thoughts while memories flood the present.

How dare it.

Just as beauty sets in, and atop the already gorgeous scene, to share this – would have been the only cherished wish left to whisper. A hand held. Hard kiss, even tug of the hair and a reminding of the natural, even recommended design for an alliance.

Useless comes to mind, but doesn’t it always? Untrustworthy. Less than. Nothing deemed attractive found near not even near, by not just one, but from many.

Wicked is fate as she tosses over another just out of reach, if only the physical qualities found irresistible and encouraged were obtainable by another’s remnants. Would life continue to offer beauty with hopes someone might see?

My Mess

essence everywhere
sliding, slowly, before me
found beauty, lifeless
and myself sat searching.
water breaks past roots, stones and debris
flows towards my lense; healing.
Chortles echo in the distance,
oh, one day love will be,
Verdant , my keeper – Forest King
show me where life will lead,
tears dampen this face, and my page,
Colorado heal me,
God, show me grace.

Apology

I
I am
I’m just
I’m just sorry
I’m just so sorry
I’m just so
I’m just
I am
I

***
I’m sorry my words have been so dim as of late – for a long time now really. They’re lacking the beauty and happiness I swore I’d share when this site begin six years ago. There was sadness then and I wanted joy to survive the pain I felt, so I came here to teach myself to recieve happiness.

I’m going to do my best to share my light and the acceptance of myself again – the joy I know exists inside my heart. There is a little girl inside of me hurting something terrible. I owe it to her to show her beauty again, so I must try.

Not sure if it’ll be short stories as it was in the beginning (she likes those) or poems & photography, which aren’t perfect or winning any awards, but reflects what I see and feel. Bringing me much closer to love.

100 thank yous to those who still linger in my words. You are appreciated.

Hope to see you around,
Aud