Almost Always

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Hurts me, almost
Always. Remembering.
I knew, almost
Always. The lie.
Pain comes, almost
Always. At daylight.
I fail, almost
Always. Forgetting.
I need, almost
Always. The affirmation.
I am, almost
Always. Enough.

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30 thoughts on “Almost Always

  1. I’ve read this several times, Audrey. Each time feeling at a loss to say much but I shall say you are very much a beautiful light and a blessing that I appreciate and wish you continued strength to be you..
    ENOUGH and so much more, that’s YOU!!! Hugs 🙂

  2. Dear Audrey, this is poignant and tender and so painful to read. You have always been enough but he was not. The grieving period moves at its own pace and I hate to hear the hurt in your voice. There is another, always, waiting for you, and it will be enough.

    • Shari, it’s a strange feeling to grieve an affair that happened nearly 10 years ago. Our divorce just this past year has opened up that time as something I need to process in a whole new way. For so long I was trying to forgive an emotional affair. When I found out last year it was a physical affair after years of being told it wasn’t, I’m forced to go through the pain again, yet differently. The grieving process is on the fast track now, as I have spent far too much of my life thinking I’m not enough emotionally or physically. What a way to live, huh? Time to find some happiness and love, I believe.

    • Your last line – that’s it but like everything, easier said than done.
      You are such a gifted, loving person, Audrey, your poetry and photography show it. You’re accomplished and worthy and you are really beautiful. People who have affairs that betray marriage (or even friendship) don’t do so because the person to whom they are supposed to be loyal lacks something essential, but because they do. I also believe you’ll find the love and happiness you truly deserve.

  3. A raw poem, and I imagine it was difficult to write. I hope writing it helped you in some way. Like in the tags below the poem, of “writing it out.” And the list of tags is as raw as the poem. I wish you peace, the soothing waves of the Gulf of Mexico, and lush forest trails.

  4. OH! I feel your sadness, your loneliness and the sting of memory drawn into the past. Know this my friend, you are Always enough! enough to bring a smile to so many. Enough to carry your heart onward, into the bright future smiling with Promise. Enough to dare to Share again until it is Enough 🙂 ❤ Luv You my Sweet Sister of Verse!

  5. Ouch, this one hurts me, too, Audrey. Don’t worry, my friend — you WILL get past this pain. You’ve described it so poignantly. It’s not failure, you know; ’tis a learning experience. Almost always!

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