Milestones met
at the start of the sun,
give it two years,
the daily will be done,
and then
what?
Tag Archives: Decisions
Survivor
When did my confidence go to battle with my insecurities?
Why are they winning?
I know better.
I am better.
I will continue to thrive.
Go. It’s been done before,
I survived.
I would again.
Throwing a temper tantrum would never work.
Waiting patiently gets me nowhere.
Being my quiet self is far too dull.
All that is left is to use my voice, yet, the quiver I hear isn’t very convincing as I try.
Fearing judgment may keep me from the happiness I know I deserve.
Wanting to be a playground, but instead I’ve become too common.
Take what is yours, these words I hear constantly in my head, I used to believe they were meant for me to say to the one who truly wanted me.
Maybe it’s what I’m supposed to do.
Huh, it goes against who I believe I am, but being left alone is too.
Torn
I
love
love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
its been all I can think about,
it’s all I knew to say,
it’s all my fault,
I’m to blame.
i could have just said,
i want to sleep with you.
can i climb in.
goodnight.
thank you, for seeing me.
i wish i could feel your touch.
tell me you’re pleased.
If I had known this is what you were prepared to hear…
I would have.
Because now, I’m just scared.
*once broken, surrendering love is never easy, but then sometimes thats all there is, an existence arrives and so we do.
It Wasn’t Until Now
It wasn’t until now,
as I humbly take you in,
that I understand love.
It wasn’t until now,
feeling you all the more,
I realize I have experienced devotion.
It wasn’t until now,
while sat here cherishing you,
my decision to try is simple.
Leaning Into Real
maybe writing this out will help me compartmentalize my thoughts
there are so many distractions as of late
The new year came in with swords drawn and a battle ensued
one I’m currently within
I’ve been rude to those around me when it was never my intention
maybe inside a daydream isn’t where I should reside, only making life worse
tangible moments, proof they exist, is where my heart currently lives
Faith begins and ends my day, serving makes sense inside my head
an inability to understand is fine, just accept me for who I am
all praise honor and glory be, yes to the Father,
and then it’s he.
He who is out there, slowly keeping pace
would begin and end my moments, but that’s only what I need.
no desire left to chase, fearful of ending back in a place where questioning motive and truth controls my each and every day.
does peace exist? are relationships worth creating…
me who’s father was gone too much, a mother who left all together
how do I believe this isn’t the pattern,
it’s happened, one after the other.
leaning into the belief, if love is meant to be
easing into a life alone, tending to sheep and children who are all too soon grown, where will I go?
Listening for the answers I know my God has planned, I pray I don’t mess this up
looking down at my empty hands.
knowing each and every piece given to me for care,
is one I’m made for and a joy to prepare.
Seems I Already Did
I accept what I cannot change
like freckles, age and height,
Find what brings a smile to my face
family, nature and creative types,
Invite myself to love who I am
sensitive, obedient & ornery alike,
and forget what he said,
seems I already did.
Decisions
When you’re heartbroken
All you want is to be healed,
Given a chance
To love again.
Better.
Or do you just
Fuckin’ forget it,
And let the negative
Stain the paper
Forever.
***
My apologies for the curse word. The other choices I had failed to get my point across.
Your strong letters of disappointment can be filed under the letter F. 🤓
Even a Redheaded Poetess allows her firey side to have its way from time to time.
Life Experience
Surprise foundation
Weave each other into place
Grasping together
The Reason
one day, I’ll be
a reason, no, the
reason, he never
feels alone.
until then, he’ll
search
and I will be okay
here.
Compounded
Careful words
( ‘care’ ‘ful’ )
Needed, required
Thoughts of insignificance
( ‘in’ ‘significance’ )
Must return
Buried in
The end of what mattered
Fathomable
( ‘fathom’ ‘able’ )
Builds connection
Reasons to continue
A lifeline,
( ‘life’ ‘line’ )
Inwardly searching
Where is the passage
With Love
Abundant living
Choices everywhere
There’s only one me; one human being: you, singular
And its unrealized, we’re all dazed.
Take care of you, I’ll protect me. Life unpredictable. Created perfectly. Alone, but with need and love to give.
Y – Yack
All dreams possible
They say, work harder
Offer no time delay.
We shall not walk, nor
Stroll the hallways,
But run,
Life is meaningless
Unless you
Profit.
Call bullshit, and crawl.
Cover the obvious mistakes
With their grace.
Stomp the ground below
And never forget to smile.
W – Weep
Watershed;
Houses feelings:
Ones lost, happy or
Simply in between.
Tears never drying
Nor meant to be,
Asked to remember,
Then cool those who suffer
With salted water,
An offering. Cover their eyes
And limit the witnessing.
Pain
I watched her
the pain in her eyes
the grip she had on the handle
white knuckled
slowly departing
caving to her mind
yet, feeling her heart
fight right back
tears wiped
smudged across her cheek
watching through
a rainy mirrored day
as she slowly becomes me
incapable of allowing
what her soul needs
Life: New Beginnings
You are my new beginning,
the life,
I so badly need.
I feel you
inside of me.
Pushing me to strive harder,
to find a way,
to please you
better.
Not because you demand it,
of me,
but because I am aware
you are the air
I so badly need,
to breathe.
Poison Control
Relax, Sunshine
Finished Sunday
With a cool sea breeze
Monday morning offers
A refocused reality
You can relax, Sunshine
I don’t want
What isn’t meant for me
Together We’ll Go
we should climb to the top
take a glimpse of the other side
holding tight, refusing to stop
enlightenment from on high
with an encouraging momentum found
best to start down low
travel slowly just off the ground
breathe deeply, and together we’ll go
Still
Presenting himself
Waiting, quietly beside her
She smiles
Wonders, for how long
He nods
Both found, idyllic
Still
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister 