Uninhibited Reply

when I wrote to him
He wasn’t a stranger,
many would have assumed otherwise
’twas as if I’d known him
all my life.
no ideas of where he’d been
or what he looked like
just a simple understanding
he was broken, working
and incredibly wise.

so much of what felt like home
was his on the daily, but
consequently
still pictures of my childhood, were opened up by him and shown
to other people I
I didn’t know.
written by a man who knew me already
yet barely was the reality,
if at all actually,
oh, how it resonated with me so.

it being his voice, I hadn’t heard,
but my mind understood
my heart longed to be near,
these hands feared, for the touch
of his skin would be too much,
mine eyes surely would tease how
not a man such as him,
could ever understand a girl like me.

yet he is within me,
upon a heartbeat I no longer recognize.
conspicuous am I about
these cries of longing
living on shaking fingertips
of a poetess,
who believes she’s found a way
to feel complete,
but who would agree.

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Because of You

My desire to write poetry,
has been affected by your presence,
the same fevered passion exists
yet, its been reduced to your name
maybe even a letter in the end
my muse, this pandora’s box, the new beginning and my end is with you.

So come the rushing waters of what might one day be,
bring on the swirls of passionate winds,
stretch the legs of workers in the trenches of this world,
my love breathes in these,
i am because of you.

Not Your Fault

Not your fault, I often question

Not your fault, I’m broken

Not your fault, you couldn’t ever understand my uncertainty.

Not your fault, my trust is hard to gain.

Not your fault, when often I’m distant or confused,

Not your fault, my conversation skills.

Not your fault, I’m used to my own silence

Not your fault, I don’t know which way to turn

Not your fault, I can’t process receiving concern

Not your fault, I discipline myself

Not your fault, I stay in control

Not your fault, I’m a soft shouldered girl.

Not your fault, I can’t talk

Not your fault, I come from two parents who were lost

Not your fault, I need so much

Not your fault, I feel less than

Not your fault, I can’t make it easy,

Not your fault, you deserve a Queen