Force Me: My Marks Are Fading (Dark Poetry)

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Keeping track of every moment
My body reacts,
To your emotions
Tonight I’m asking for darkness
Intrigue me
Honor my request
Lesser men haven’t
They’ve kept me in a tangled mess
I’m demanding you challenge
Don’t think me afraid
Do you see how my marks fade
I have an urgency to feel
No, I won’t hold your hand
Once and a while a lady will command
I assume this will make you mad
I’m counting on that
I know what you’re thinking
She has no idea what she’s requesting
I’ve learned a few rules
This personality,
Since I was fifteen
Tonight, a monster I’m craving
In the end, do it sweetly
I want you to push back
Crush me
Control me
Center me
Take me
Force my feelings out

Problematic

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Spent time meditating
I vision you gravitating
Wandering near by
Creating a happy lady
Can you see my smile
Reminiscing
Lips curled up in a purse
Eyes heavy and lazy
Drifting and remembering
Nothing better in this world
Than you responding
The reaction it gives me
You’d deem problematic
I find that awesome-fantastic
Do you feel me

My View

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Sending me pictures
The three of you together
A vigil you’ve created
May God bless you
Should be four of us in that room
Three sisters and a brother
Watching over our mother
Instead I watch with only a small view
Your faces should ease my worry
Instead I close my phone crying
My weakness is eating me alive

Failing You

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I’m not there for you today
The fact still escapes me
Never in all my dreams could I see
Not getting to you when you’re in need
I always said I’d lead
Be there for each one of you
Siblings
Parents, too
I’m the Sister
I’m the Daughter
No matter the distance
Today marks another weakness
I’ve allowed distance to limit
All my most inherited instincts
I’m so sorry
I’m here going on about my day
The rest of you, in a waiting room
Keep me posted
I’m failing all of you
Damn, Texas and all the distance
Mom,  today, you’re on my mind

Your Lady

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She chooses who she’ll be
Powerful
Meek
A conformer
Unique
A woman is born to dream
A soft skinned girl on her terms
Rough and edgy when she’s protecting
She’ll make you laugh
You’re on top of the world
When she brings you to your knees
Reflections are seen
Her power lives, there’s no denying
She loves you hard
She feels safe
On top of the world
A life you’ll create
Stand beside you, fists drawn
Planted in front, protecting your cause
Even behind you, for her faith
One she believes twas God to create
Behind doors she’s all yours
Treat her like royalty
You’ll forever be her King
Shoot her your infectious smile
She’ll give you anything, heart’s desire
Shy eyes sparkling
Or run to you craving
Agreeing to fulfill your need
Consuming

I Choose To Believe

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Searching for new words
To describe you
I dream about how they look
Tis like trying them on your body
Yes, sometimes I go there
Hesitant
They’ll need to feel like you
Yes, I go there, too
I choose to believe
My words find my muse
Time and time again
Yet this moment
Zero conformity
None of them suit
Your ability
Your wisdom unending
Contagious thoughts
A Charmer of bees
Holding my attention
Well, it isn’t easy
I drift
I dream
I see
My mind and words
forever spinning
You calm me
Bring me peace
What will I do if you ever leave
Never breathe
Visions of your back to me
I can’t handle
I choose to believe
Your need
Similar to mine
Maybe
Probably never
Bravery can handle life
If you must go
I’ve held my breath longer
I’m the Oldest Daughter
The Red Headed Sister
My names weren’t easily obtained
To the bottom of my heart is deep
Wide open
Still recieving
I choose to believe

A Piece Of You

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Today
Spent physically busy
My title, Redheaded Chaperone
My mind left to ponder
What is blooming
Spring
Flowers
Love
Poetic pictures
I love you like this
I could love you like that
I would love you
To the moon and back
Images
Created by me
Providing comfort
What I’ve realized
Quite easily
Everyone wants a piece
Yet, I desire
All of you
Can you sense the difference
I need to know
What makes you tick
How do you dream
Are you busy
Do you sense where we’re going
Friendships are important
Shock comes from twin feelings
Bonds form
Your smile today
Left to my soul’s preference
One day
I promise
I will trace that smile
Using my fingertips

Good News

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My news for you
On this morning’s dew
Reality is, I understand
They didn’t offer you love
Did they?
You weren’t given the chance
Were you?
Did they leave
Work too much
Forget you existed
Left you on the side of the street
Those are all possibilities
I’m here
I’ve been there
Not to each place
Probably not yours
Yet, I understand
Feelings of abandonment
Each one of ours different
Can you allow me to remind
They may have never offered
But somewhere inside
They love you
Somehow they do
You felt it inside
Or you wouldn’t be here
You’re not dead
You’re alive
Don’t discount them
Over three words
Although not uttered
Maybe felt instead
By the most primal of sorts
If your pain is found in a deeper well
I’ll simply hold you
If you’d like just sit near
Please listen
Bring all of you
Come closer
I love you to pieces
I adore your soul
You are beautiful
You may not know what to do
Or where to go
Rest assured
He loves us
I’m here
I choose to care
Believe
I love you

 

Shades Of You

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Like a soft breeze
Tonight you arrived
Willingly
Feeling you
All majestic
Exhaling with relief
Agreed
You have the ability
Yes, to surprise
Violence to such a degree
Shades of you
Not a picture of love
Most importantly
It scared me
Point proven
Shaken
Yet, not moving away
Onward movement
Like a dream
You opened your soul
A beautiful piece
It was a pleasure to see
Thank you
A better understanding

Oh, Yeah!

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I saw you first
Yeah, you were there
All powerful
Demanding
Amongst the rest of your crew
Looking all cool and fascinating
Yes, you!
I felt nothing but intrigue
You were all my eyes could see

I approached you hesitantly
You would be a lot for me
Just look at your surroundings
Yet, our eyes locked
Yours shining
Mine craving
Suddenly I felt free
Heart quickening
Soul waking up
Life as we knew it – over
The submitting would take two

I asked for a moment from you
An agreement was made
We’d go for a quick ride outside
Sliding in took little effort
I’d waited a long time
Wondering how fast you’d take me
A shy girl with a thrill for a fast ride
One push from me
Fire created suddenly

With permission granted
You carefully took me
All those places I’d been craving
I’m not surprised
You knew what you were doing
Owning me by the first curve
My release finally coming
After admitting
I could easily dominate you

I sit here now satisfied
You with that stupid grin
I can’t wait to show you off
Dodge Charger
You couldn’t be hotter
You and your new car smell
My tomorrow’s Show And Tell

I love my new car!!

Thank You

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I imagine
A tree
Strong
Growing
Nurished
Inside out
Green
Blossoming
Yet, bark, like skin
Scarred and rough
This tree
Just like you and me
Fed by the Father
Son
Holy Spirit
All uniquely
United to form One
Thank you, God
For bringing me
Courage
To be all I dreamed
Honesty
To allow sleep
Determination
To grow hearts
I Thank You
For all the transgressions
You forgave
Renewing the flesh
Which causes such pain
So one day
We’ll all live with You again

What Is Everything

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Treasures from my heart
The gems no one else gets to see
The ideas that complete me
Gives you the lock to my key
My feelings

A need for someone
To push me too far
To make me feel anger
Allow me the act
Teach me to throw
Multiple plates through the air
Create an opportunity
Make me bow to weakness
I want to lean on somone
Catch me once, please
For my love
Paint me a picture
Of my tears
Show me they’re beautiful
Worth sitting near
Each and every freckle
How you hold it dear
Force me to look at myself
In a mirror

This simply
What I want
Force these feelings out
No one ever has
Well, just once
She’s bat shit crazy
Just look at her eyes
Made up
No long lost love
Back in India
A story created poetically
I just wanted closer to you
Honestly
Something to fight about
To make me feel alive
It was what I needed
My heart’s open
Not a scorned woman
Just one begging to feel

What people don’t see
When they look at me
Is all my vulnerability
Years of controlling
Any feeling
In hopes that another
Wasn’t victim to stealing
Yet happiness the latest casualty
See what I do to me

Tell Him Everything

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Stop
Be quiet
Do you see him
Over there
I wish you could
Reaffirm he was my sleeper
Please
Relieve my fear
Proof that he existed
My only concern
When you find him
Tell him everything

He is
Tall
Mighty
Strong
Every breath of his
A word of beauty
Trust me
You’ll want a piece
A piece of whatever
He’s serving
Try to catch him
But when you do
Remember
Tell him everything

When he’s with me
I am complete desire
Back then
Twas all new for me
Thrilling
Yet, I haven’t seen him
Not in a while
When I wanted
All I had to do
Was wave my feather
His hands would come
Willing and ready
Dominant
Masterful
Teacher
Helping me
Create poetry
My advice, my friend
Tell him everything

He’d love you
Smart
Pretty
Lifelike
Confident beacon of light
You’d love him
Calm
Cool
Collected
A beautiful distraction
Exciting news
He may be searching for you
Look around quick
Spy his wit
Let him in
Tell him everything

Take the ride I denied
Please him
Let loose of your control
Give him your eyes
Undoubtedly
Tell him everything
Just do it slow
Enjoy the ride
Allow conversation to flow
Words of love and devotion
Pleased him ever so
Made me afraid
And now it’s too late
Gone
For me
No chance
Of telling him everything

He’s gone on searching
For his one true love
You must go find him
Whoever you are
He’s waiting
Just one thing
For me
A promise, please
It’ll stop my aching
Tell him
Give him
Allow him
Everything

Camera Lens

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Camera lens
You’ve brought me in
What is it you want me to do
Walk with you and point out pretties
Cry with you over fatalities
Show you the flowers I dip myself in
I’m not sure, but can you smell them
Stare at clouds while you click click click
Hold you close while taking risk after risk
Learn your functions
How you work
Take my time
Pair your photos with my rhymes
Let you take my picture
Or maybe you prefer I walk away

Devotee

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In vivid dreams
I run to you
You run to me
Last night
There was no talking
At first I was sad
Heartbroken
Our time
Is it over
Tears began to flow
You held me
Reminded me
Devotedly
Sweet Darling
We love our silence
Communication
Between hearts
Share a common beat
Believe
I woke up relieved
I love you
You love me
What we have
Will always be
Bright colors
I see them
Accross a wide sky
At dawn
In fields
Flowers bloom
Like you, beautiful
Laughter alive
Shared between friends
Stop worrying
Start Creating
Begin living
Make a path
A voice inside
Screaming
Don’t give up
I think it may be you
You’re all around me
Devotee