
This afternoon I drove for awhile, after work, before turning around and heading home. You see, it’s not a far drive from one to the other and I needed to think, so off I traveled.
The meat and potatoes of Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister

This afternoon I drove for awhile, after work, before turning around and heading home. You see, it’s not a far drive from one to the other and I needed to think, so off I traveled.

I watch the doves dip and weave
Chasing one another,
Yet I grieve
For a life I’ve dreamt about
Since I was a child,
In a grey, aging, house
There were giggles
And four children the cause,
Despite their loss
Of the everyday normalcy
Of Mom being near,
Nothing making sense, life unclear
If love exists, breathes, you say
Will it fulfill my wish,
Not run – at the top of my list
So sovereign Cardinals in my view
Standing watch, yearning
Might keep me from melancholy.

With so much love inside of me
Love to give,
Share
Offer
With a blank stare returned,
I’m unsure if its power exists
Within me. Maybe
I’ve fallen hard
For a disguise, and
My head, heart and body just incapable of understanding love.

the longing is evident
childish, I know
within the quiet of darkness,
and writing under the sheets,
my wishlist, still nowhere near complete

when we realize
devotion is what they really need,
and it becomes our true focus,
we climb towards accepting reality.
being blessed
to witness their peace,
or to become their daily and intricate detail,
is our gift.
understanding, finally, we’re not a guarantee in what
is meant to be, but it’s okay to hope.

Today, as the sun shines, so that I might see
It is my hope, a continuous hopeful
Dream,
You’ve settled into your day,
Thoughts bringing you closer
To peace,
So your nights offer you moments of
Clarity,
As sleep takes you where you want to be.

He does this thing
Where he’s patient with me,
Yet
Calls me on all my junk
And then waits,
That’s when I want to kiss him the most.

I saw this tonight and wanted you to be the one I showed it to, but that’s okay.
I hate when I cry.

The last few weeks have had me considering the idea of closing my site down.
Wondering if maybe its time to move on and away from poetry.

to fall sleep
believing
in tomorrow,
is how he prefers me
and so I do,
prepared.

It’s petals laying crossways,
My grandmother always said,
Notice their ruffled beauty,
Across the body, throughout her head.
The heart will lead us,
Paths rarely fond easy, and
With moments of dread.
However, trust
You’ll make it through,
The alternative is dead.

Don’t bother comparing us,
Simply won’t do,
We share similar parts,
But totally different hues.
Sensing your internal struggle,
Trying to decide between two,
Confessing to you now,
She’s finding her way back to you.
Knowing your confidence all too well,
I’ll offer, what I know to be true,
I prefer to continue alone,
If she still owns any part of you.

I fall hard
but this is what I do.
I imagine long walks,
you pointing out the vision
I see as reality,
but this is what I do.
I picture myself as a flower,
each petal adored, even
in her simplicity,
but this is what I do.
The vast Midwestern skyline
of Nebraska takes me to
where you are daily, and I pray
but this is what I do.
I wander inside of a daydream
where we exist as one,
but this is what I do.

There
Isn’t
Anything
To
Wait
For.
This is it, and so is now
And now,
Now
Now
Now
Now,
Yep, and now.
You get the idea.

Women employed by conditions
Beyond their control,
Wore cotton prairie dresses
Stained, of their station,
Laundered just the same
I can remember when becoming a mom consumed my every thought.
How to convience, plan and encourge a journey leading life in that direction.
Those first few months, I recognized within me a confidence, it was solid, made for it, indeed. Doubt didn’t stand a chance.
I never, not once, saw myself going it alone.
Being mom always included a dad.
Here I am, a mom. Content with how we’ve done. The children are a constant beside me. Never questioning the road. Still not comfortable parenting solo.
I always thought families deserved both.
Even if mom looks like this…

I think you’ll agree there’s an astonishing similarity.
Circa 2012

There will come a day,
When I can look upon,
Their relationship,
And say, in my experience.
Until then, I will continue,
To watch in awe,
As they deem one another,
Poetically united: a lifeline.

there – the whisper
calling her name
there is the silence,
no need to explain.
there’s the faith
she felt deep inside
there is the answer,
she knew she’d find.

if anything, I see
beauty returns eventually,
subtle drops of rain
worth clinging to fall down, eventually.
robins bounce about
puddles found,
my eyes search cloud ripples
finding your name,
and summertime is born
maybe that’s all there is to say.