Chasing Away Melancholy

I watch the doves dip and weave
Chasing one another,
Yet I grieve

For a life I’ve dreamt about
Since I was a child,
In a grey, aging, house

There were giggles
And four children the cause,
Despite their loss

Of the everyday normalcy
Of Mom being near,
Nothing making sense, life unclear

If love exists, breathes, you say
Will it fulfill my wish,
Not run – at the top of my list

So sovereign Cardinals in my view
Standing watch, yearning
Might keep me from melancholy.

Notice

Don’t bother comparing us,
Simply won’t do,
We share similar parts,
But totally different hues.
Sensing your internal struggle,
Trying to decide between two,
Confessing to you now,
She’s finding her way back to you.
Knowing your confidence all too well,
I’ll offer, what I know to be true,
I prefer to continue alone,
If she still owns any part of you.

But This Is What I Do

I fall hard
but this is what I do.
I imagine long walks,
you pointing out the vision
I see as reality,
but this is what I do.
I picture myself as a flower,
each petal adored, even
in her simplicity,
but this is what I do.
The vast Midwestern skyline
of Nebraska takes me to
where you are daily, and I pray
but this is what I do.
I wander inside of a daydream
where we exist as one,
but this is what I do.

Mom

I can remember when becoming a mom consumed my every thought.
How to convience, plan and encourge a journey leading life in that direction.

Those first few months, I recognized within me a confidence, it was solid, made for it, indeed. Doubt didn’t stand a chance.
I never, not once, saw myself going it alone.

Being mom always included a dad.

Here I am, a mom. Content with how we’ve done. The children are a constant beside me. Never questioning the road. Still not comfortable parenting solo.

I always thought families deserved both.

Even if mom looks like this…

I think you’ll agree there’s an astonishing similarity.

Circa 2012