i could get lost inside you,
graciously forever, often
yearning for the
direction
you show,
beauty
you create,
protection
you offer,
mystery
you provide,
colors
you inspire,
dreams
you conduct.
without them, i
wouldn’t know where to begin
and incredibly certain
i wouldn’t want to.
I watch the doves dip and weave
Chasing one another,
Yet I grieve
For a life I’ve dreamt about
Since I was a child,
In a grey, aging, house
There were giggles
And four children the cause,
Despite their loss
Of the everyday normalcy
Of Mom being near,
Nothing making sense, life unclear
If love exists, breathes, you say
Will it fulfill my wish,
Not run – at the top of my list
So sovereign Cardinals in my view
Standing watch, yearning
Might keep me from melancholy.
With so much love inside of me
Love to give,
Share
Offer
With a blank stare returned,
I’m unsure if its power exists
Within me. Maybe
I’ve fallen hard
For a disguise, and
My head, heart and body just incapable of understanding love.
the longing is evident
childish, I know
within the quiet of darkness,
and writing under the sheets,
my wishlist, still nowhere near complete
when we realize
devotion is what they really need,
and it becomes our true focus,
we climb towards accepting reality.
being blessed
to witness their peace,
or to become their daily and intricate detail,
is our gift.
understanding, finally, we’re not a guarantee in what
is meant to be, but it’s okay to hope.
He does this thing
Where he’s patient with me,
Yet
Calls me on all my junk
And then waits,
That’s when I want to kiss him the most.
to fall sleep
believing
in tomorrow,
is how he prefers me
and so I do,
prepared.
I fall hard
but this is what I do.
I imagine long walks,
you pointing out the vision
I see as reality,
but this is what I do.
I picture myself as a flower,
each petal adored, even
in her simplicity,
but this is what I do.
The vast Midwestern skyline
of Nebraska takes me to
where you are daily, and I pray
but this is what I do.
I wander inside of a daydream
where we exist as one,
but this is what I do.
There will come a day,
When I can look upon,
Their relationship,
And say, in my experience.
Until then, I will continue,
To watch in awe,
As they deem one another,
Poetically united: a lifeline.
there – the whisper
calling her name
there is the silence,
no need to explain.
there’s the faith
she felt deep inside
there is the answer,
she knew she’d find.
if anything, I see
beauty returns eventually,
subtle drops of rain
worth clinging to fall down, eventually.
robins bounce about
puddles found,
my eyes search cloud ripples
finding your name,
and summertime is born
maybe that’s all there is to say.
I get caught up in the lyrics
a poet, most surely always has.
He listens to the music
proud of his favorite band.
I lean in closer,
following his lead
he listens for the horns,
I pray the words are for me.
I
love
love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
its been all I can think about,
it’s all I knew to say,
it’s all my fault,
I’m to blame.
i could have just said,
i want to sleep with you.
can i climb in.
goodnight.
thank you, for seeing me.
i wish i could feel your touch.
tell me you’re pleased.
If I had known this is what you were prepared to hear…
I would have.
Because now, I’m just scared.
*once broken, surrendering love is never easy, but then sometimes thats all there is, an existence arrives and so we do.
lays her heart
most intimately
before you,
softness
a gift,
this blush on her form,
a part of who she is
but when you touch her
the perfection becomes yours
my question begs, how do I remain,
remain without wanting to compete
compete for your attention
attention you offer willingly
willingly, but at what cost
cost may be greater
greater than you realize
realize first, I’m in love
love, found adamant in a terra-cotta sky
*Loop Poem
powdered sugar spring
covering sprouts emerging
blanketed with hope
Not your fault, I often question
Not your fault, I’m broken
Not your fault, you couldn’t ever understand my uncertainty.
Not your fault, my trust is hard to gain.
Not your fault, when often I’m distant or confused,
Not your fault, my conversation skills.
Not your fault, I’m used to my own silence
Not your fault, I don’t know which way to turn
Not your fault, I can’t process receiving concern
Not your fault, I discipline myself
Not your fault, I stay in control
Not your fault, I’m a soft shouldered girl.
Not your fault, I can’t talk
Not your fault, I come from two parents who were lost
Not your fault, I need so much
Not your fault, I feel less than
Not your fault, I can’t make it easy,
Not your fault, you deserve a Queen
It wasn’t until now,
as I humbly take you in,
that I understand love.
It wasn’t until now,
feeling you all the more,
I realize I have experienced devotion.
It wasn’t until now,
while sat here cherishing you,
my decision to try is simple.
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister 