Could You

paint a picture
of genuine happiness
read a novel
on quiet lovely despair
offer the common view
many do not care to see
and show them –
there’s still a chance for me.

***
What I Would Have Shown You

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Apology

I
I am
I’m just
I’m just sorry
I’m just so sorry
I’m just so
I’m just
I am
I

***
I’m sorry my words have been so dim as of late – for a long time now really. They’re lacking the beauty and happiness I swore I’d share when this site begin six years ago. There was sadness then and I wanted joy to survive the pain I felt, so I came here to teach myself to recieve happiness.

I’m going to do my best to share my light and the acceptance of myself again – the joy I know exists inside my heart. There is a little girl inside of me hurting something terrible. I owe it to her to show her beauty again, so I must try.

Not sure if it’ll be short stories as it was in the beginning (she likes those) or poems & photography, which aren’t perfect or winning any awards, but reflects what I see and feel. Bringing me much closer to love.

100 thank yous to those who still linger in my words. You are appreciated.

Hope to see you around,
Aud

Not Your Fault

Not your fault, I often question

Not your fault, I’m broken

Not your fault, you couldn’t ever understand my uncertainty.

Not your fault, my trust is hard to gain.

Not your fault, when often I’m distant or confused,

Not your fault, my conversation skills.

Not your fault, I’m used to my own silence

Not your fault, I don’t know which way to turn

Not your fault, I can’t process receiving concern

Not your fault, I discipline myself

Not your fault, I stay in control

Not your fault, I’m a soft shouldered girl.

Not your fault, I can’t talk

Not your fault, I come from two parents who were lost

Not your fault, I need so much

Not your fault, I feel less than

Not your fault, I can’t make it easy,

Not your fault, you deserve a Queen

A You

If I closed my eyes and saw simple perfection,
there would be a you.

Words sought by princess’, over hills around mountains, were written
and shared by you.

Dreams play out in forms of melodies I’ve never heard,
but belong to you.

Pools of tears welling up
and lying fearless in my eyelids
await you.

Happily ever after didn’t exist
in plain surroundings,
until the belief of you. 

Now I seek every moment,
listening humbly,
for a you.

In A Moments Time

From simple beginnings
A leader, yet not
Self cope, learned not taught
An ache swells against her chest
She, fully aware of the meaning
And where her priorities
Should remain, yet
A glimpse of cerulean,
Through a pristine white sky,
Leaves her swiftly restrained.
Wild daisies across an open field,
Tall prairie grass swaying
Is pictured, visioned longingly
With his strong hand
Pulling her in
Taken, once again