Sense of Direction

The summer rain has painted fields of sunflowers
and the August breeze cools the brow.
67 degrees in the Sandhills, and nobody can explain how.

Wheat with a sense of adventure has been brushed in for effect,
and life gets interesting
just beyond the hills,
as I hear, “You haven’t been over there yet.”

Push past the state line, skys bluer than azure await,
there’s small horse towns ’bout every 8 miles,
and remember, “When you leave, shut the gate.”

Fuel isn’t getting any cheaper, and time waits for no one,
so dismiss all the reasons why one shouldn’t,
smell the damp dirt, allow it to slide through your fingers, let the wind send it.

Press the pedal on the right, bite your lip, and
appreciate the sound of your giggle,
the prairie weaves over and under –
everything beyond here matters,
and you’re not getting any younger.

Discovery

I miss the days of lost in cerulean and clouds,
even though searching for you came with a cost,
my mind ardently invented you as I lie on the ground.

moments screamed past me then, and there’s no getting them back,
yet I feel fulfilled when memories rush in,
blessed, some would say to forget what I lacked.

a path was forged, one I so desperately needed,
the voice inside me tasted like screaming –
to most it wouldn’t make sense but free, my friend, isn’t always freedom.

This Night

as our sun sets I reach for you
a hint please, if even this exists.
why would I question
your strength surrounds me
the wind becomes your touch
the geese flying behind me
speak the words I long to hear
yet, in a language
I cannot understand.
my eyes settle on tangerine hues
as my world settles in
for the night.
I sigh good evening, my love,
where have you been and where shall we go?

Summons

ringlets the color of copper pennies
arms stretched out into blue,
wildflowers in lilac are hidden
yet aching to appear.

a vision in giggles while the swoosh
of her skirt passes through,
blissful pockets of lush blankets,
as the sun summons her here.

now bound in heaven upon earth
swells abide in precise hues
did Aurora lead the way or
simply twilight, craving her near.

Assumption

he found me sitting, legs crossed
black leggins with a bit cut out
just where attraction begins

he smelled all around me,
even the book I was holding.
he offered static pause so I could watch, his energy and legends felt deep within me.
I wasn’t as terrified as most
would have been
his presence came through peacefully
and i found myself worshiping him.

looking back he wandered off slowly, maybe
sensing the aroma of another or giving up on me
and I was left to assume

which is never good.

Apology

I
I am
I’m just
I’m just sorry
I’m just so sorry
I’m just so
I’m just
I am
I

***
I’m sorry my words have been so dim as of late – for a long time now really. They’re lacking the beauty and happiness I swore I’d share when this site begin six years ago. There was sadness then and I wanted joy to survive the pain I felt, so I came here to teach myself to recieve happiness.

I’m going to do my best to share my light and the acceptance of myself again – the joy I know exists inside my heart. There is a little girl inside of me hurting something terrible. I owe it to her to show her beauty again, so I must try.

Not sure if it’ll be short stories as it was in the beginning (she likes those) or poems & photography, which aren’t perfect or winning any awards, but reflects what I see and feel. Bringing me much closer to love.

100 thank yous to those who still linger in my words. You are appreciated.

Hope to see you around,
Aud

Not Your Fault

Not your fault, I often question

Not your fault, I’m broken

Not your fault, you couldn’t ever understand my uncertainty.

Not your fault, my trust is hard to gain.

Not your fault, when often I’m distant or confused,

Not your fault, my conversation skills.

Not your fault, I’m used to my own silence

Not your fault, I don’t know which way to turn

Not your fault, I can’t process receiving concern

Not your fault, I discipline myself

Not your fault, I stay in control

Not your fault, I’m a soft shouldered girl.

Not your fault, I can’t talk

Not your fault, I come from two parents who were lost

Not your fault, I need so much

Not your fault, I feel less than

Not your fault, I can’t make it easy,

Not your fault, you deserve a Queen