Roads

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There is an easier road to travel
I believe because I’ve lived
Done it
Easy road is seemingly perfect
No flaws
A pleasing path full of yes’ and pretties
Yellow brick roads void of nopes and insecurities
Yet remember
What they hide
You simply aren’t interested in seeing

Tough roads
A bit lonelier
Turning about pondering life’s meaning
I agree
You’ll second guess everything
From the color of your shoes
To truth and identity
Often questioning
In belief
Happy ever after endings
This route will make us stronger
Seeking advisory

Along the way
Roads given
Windows of opportunity
Take them they are yours
Listen to His words
Allow the guidance from above
He loves you
He said so that day on the cross Believe Him
Poof goes doubt
In comes grace
World providing a different view Completely different face
It works for many
Will for you
If you need me
I’ll walk beside you

Listen

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Someday, I hope I find clarity in my poetry writing. Lately, I don’t feel I have any control.  For now, I will continue to write this unrecognizable voice. I’ll send the words out here for you to view. Create a picture. It’s all I can do. It’s all I have been doing. It’s all that is being allowed through to paper. All I see are words floating. I try to catch them. Create.

Finally home
Golden door knob twists
A slight push by the hip
The door: it opens
The sound of vacuumed air released
Her hand goes directly to the lamp
One she’s never seen
How comfortably she pulls the string

Her keys take to the table
Similarities liken to a movie scene
Pinky finger pulls at the straps
Slipping off her heels
Ahh , she savors the feeling

Wiggly toes go pitter pat
Down a dim hallway
Cherish the puzzlement
Where could he be
Light music playing
Feast smells spicy
Carefully she lets her hair free
Wondering what will he think of me

She makes the final turn
Stopping to witness
She continues unnoticed
Standing in awe
A quiet thunder heard

Towards him she goes
Left with no choice
It’s always been him
The universe sighs in relief
Ahh, we’re finally happy
Shaking arms
Distrustful eyes
The confidence of a Tigress wild

Anticipation has ceased
Standing behind him
Body heat
Stop your hands – just breathe
Exhale

This is what it feels like to be free
Mouth the words – thank you
The least you can do
See that vein in his neck
Pulses red blood through, for you
Imagine what he’s been feeling
Dreaming of you
Take ownership of his heart

Accept him for who he is
Make no promises
He may break your heart, too
Dive in, remember he’s worth it
Feel your heartbeat

Rest assured, his beats like thunder, too
Notice his hesitation
He feels you near
Make your move, never fear
Hands slide from behind to the front
Feel that
The beat of his love; pure devotion
Lean into him; ear to his back

Smell his scent – musk
Relax, a picture of true love

Hey, Baby
Hey, You
I didn’t think you’d ever get here.
I’ve been searching everywhere.
Was it the traffic?
No, just a lot of wrong turns, then there was spinning.
You will be pleased, no more wrong turns.
No wrong turns? I cannot imagine.
I’m here for you.
As I shall be, for you.
Let me lead…
I’ve never been allowed.
A man is all I know how to be.
A lady, then, I will become for thee.

Feel his pull as turns to face you
Search his eyes for the first time
Believe it’s him
Accept his power
Join forces
Allow yourself
Happiness

(I hope this story suits you, Sisters. It was the only story that was allowed out. A lot swarming inside this brain. In other news, my book is coming along well. I hope this story brought you some emotion.  Not as much of a tragedy after all. That is an improvement, I’d say. I will keep trying to write a perfect love story. One loaded with tragedy. Our story.)

Waiting

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I’m aware of you
A heart I hear beating
Loud and true
Da dum
Da dum
Da dum
Working its way through
I’ve waited for the words to appear
Emotions floating
I reach up to tame them
Placing all in their rightful places
I hear your drum
I sense your need
Da dum
Da dum
Da dum
I have urges too
To be the best
All for you
A Muse

Boundless

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A soft touch sent around the world
Fingers pursue you
Ears hear your deepest notes
A chance to read your words
Its been you for some time now
A blessing to breathe in the same air
Thank you for allowing me to be here
Hazel eyes pressing into the abyss
You aren’t allowed to watch this
Shy girls need some room to prepare
Sometimes words seem so unfair
Stir up feelings best left behind closed doors
Minds reveal awakenings
Writing is so personal
A poet’s mind forever boundless
She fears her muse may leave
Once her poet’s eye revealed
A plea sent around the world and back to you
Promise me you’ll consider
Before you leave me wondering, confused

Clarity

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My day is ending
My night finally in view
Nothing else left to prove
Come to me, my muse

Show me clarity
Am I a fool, broken and misused

Tell me I’m comfortable
In this freckled skin
Assure me
I’m okay being where I’ve been

Powerful goals which push to be fulfilled
Desires to write with a loving eye; mind
My eyes warn me of shades of green
Am I sure I know what I’m doing

Of You

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~ Of You

Forces of the unknown, I keep you close

Feel the push and pull, it’s all self-inflicted

I read then reread words, admiring their clarity

Speaking clever exchanges, my mind blissfully addicted

This fresh interest continues, yet anonymity

I pursue musing thoughts, here, here and here

An affinity of the best kind, creatively defined

Faith

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A battle inside of me that I wanted to share. I think a lot of us can identify with what I’ve written. It’s okay to argue with God, the one who loves us the most. I love that He pushes me to strive for more and to believe in myself. I’m thankful He’s always with me.

**************

Just show me what You want
Is it my truest of feeling upfront
I feel you shoving me into a corner
Suppose I fear judgement, ridicule and opposing statements
Who will protect me from my own aberration
I feel You don’t care

You push me to write where I’m not arranged
Yes, of course, I notice what You’re shepherding
You think I’m ready, I’m naysaying
The thoughts in my mind I can’t identify
Truly brought on by the Divine
I sense Your agenda

I agree, what I feel captivates and rings true
What You don’t tolerate is this girl’s admittance to being frightened, too
Lost in thoughts of what this journey will allow
God, please come with me
A Pandora’s box of emotions will be used
I know, You know, I’m bruised

Twas it yesterday when those actions caused ruin?
A battle which seemed fated changed me forever
Because of you, now I must heal the deepest of wounds!
In order to show that Your faith in us rings true
How dare You strengthen me in Your own time!
I understand You think I’m primed

I’m forced to play catch up
Your Holy presence proves Divine
To question You, not my intention
I feel weakened by Your intervention
Through this I know it is for the best
A life’s quest

An Argument

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A patchwork quilt spilled out and into a square. They fall into the covering and onto their backs.Two bodies side by side, together a powerful sight. Smiling eyes release their connection and turn upwards. Lost and gazing into a blue sky. White clouds overhead billowing, yet raging by. Arms pulled up and over their heads. Hands create sole pillows for their minds to find rest. Locked thoughts and desires just moments from notice or truth. With a bit of timing a mood changer created instead:

“Tell me of your life,” she whispered.
“There’s too much to recall, my dear.”
“Explain the cruelties of life, then. Start with why now and not twenty years sooner.”
“I can’t explain life, really. The fact is, my sweet, we aren’t allowed to question destiny.”
“Destiny? Is that what this is?”
“Now, look at that cloud!” he points upwards and across her chest.
“You mean the one over there that looks like an elephant,” she entertains.
“Elephant? I say, mountain.”
“Clearly, it’s an elephant!”
“Now, relax. Quickly, before the shifting begins, look again. See? Mountain…” he encourages.
“Maybe you could explain why you see a mountain and I see an elephant?”
“The explaination not as easy to believe, I fear. I’d like to see an elephant. I’m a believer in elephants. Alas, the cloud above us is a mountain strong and true.”
“So, you don’t want to see my elephant? You’d rather focus on your mountain?”
“Arguably, it isn’t as simple as what we see when laying here together.”
“I think it is. You don’t want to see my breathing elephant. You’d rather continue to view the cold hard mountain.”
“What is that supposed to mean? The elephant you see isn’t alive. It is a cloud passing by in the sky.”
“I think we both know what I mean!”
“Hmm!”
“I like laying here with you, though. It’s nice having a chat,” she exhaled.
“Yes, we should consider how to achieve more of that.”
“This…you mean. Achieve more of this…chatting.”
“No, I meant the disagreeing.”
“What?! Why?!”
“Ahh, it seems, you push me to look for elephants.”
“And I for mountains, my love…”

Sometimes… I Am A Drama Queen

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Good Morning! I’m hoping the coffee and cookies help to sort out all the frustrations I have brewing inside of me. I have poems to share, but my state of mind has fed them to the wolves. I’m afraid posting anything of value to me would seem less than authentic and just perpetuate the fraudulent emotions I’m working through. My hope is that y’all are having a much better Monday morning. My goal is to share a few poems with you, unfortunately being a poet doesn’t sound like who I am today. Yes, Ms. Audrey has days where she feels unworthy. Boo! I can’t stand myself right now. I can’t even look myself in the eyes. I have allowed myself to keep from writing my truest of feelings.

Choose to disagree
I must still believe
Writing suits me

For years I’ve allowed those voices to decide my decree
Often agreeing that stalling was best for the time being
Focus over here, Audrey, so much requires your devotion

Only writing helps to heal me
Much to say with little support
Authenticity found in silence

Happy Valentine’s Day

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The day is here and the end of my love poems. I enjoyed finding a way to express love in many forms. I’m leaving you with my thoughts today. A romantic will always live in my heart, but these feelings can wear a girl out. Is only one day needed to express yourself? No, I don’t believe so. Valentine’s Day really doesn’t do it for me, but this…this does:

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Fresh flowers in a vase, no.
I’d rather a chance to smell your cologne.
Stand close to me.

Red candles to illuminate the dark, no.
I prefer your honesty and trust to shepherd.
Lead me.

Sweet chocolate on my lips, no.
I’d rather your thoughts and dreams pouring to soothe me.
Show me.

An array of jewels for my body, no.
I prefer deep notes which sing to me of your soul and rob me of my fears.
Stay with me.

Expensive toys to keep up with, no.
I’ll take a secluded journey and your adventurous spirit to guide me.
Take me.

Who you are and want us to be is all I’ll ever need.

Valentine Kiss

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Come closer, true love
Let these hands linger
Allow them the sides of your face
Stubble, smooth sliding down
Coming up, rough pleasures
Fingers slowly walking
Close your eyes, my dear
The softest of skin found on your lids
Feel this cool touch, a satisfied trace
Your eyes gather charming colors
Wonderment of thoughts inside you
Fingers journey to your temples
Rub a sliver of the pain away
Relax, these hands love you
Relieved to feel your hair so soft
Twisting smells of you float within
Between all fingers, anticipating
Desires awaken, hair pulled too tight
Lean in, surrender your lips
Soft and supple, manly enough
Just what a woman wants
Predestined connection fulfilled
First kiss or last pay no mind
It’s all she’s craved today
Nothing else truly matters
Oh, Valentine

New Love

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*For my grandfather who is 80+ and living to date another day. He is unstoppable even after outliving two wonderful wives.*

Love sick poetry
They thought he’d never see the day
Oh, Puppy Love how could you do him this way
Isn’t he far past such a feeling
Imagine what he’s been dreaming

Drawing hearts, ribbons and bows
Maybe her name inside his prose
Giddy with laughter
Everyone shaking their heads

What will we do with him they all said
They have no idea what to think
Putting away the romance novels, this guy is in deep
It’s honest, it’s true
Love after 60 can happen even for you

My Heart

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Feel that?
That’s my heart!
Hear that?
That’s my heart!
Sense that?
That’s my heart!
Love that?
That’s my heart!
Want that?
That’s my heart!

Hearts are a beautiful mess
Remember use heed with mine
This heart demands too much
Push all those feelings back
Run quickly the other way
My heart has been betrayed
Couldn’t possibly love again
Frozen often remembering
Lessons of yesterday learned
Day at a time – a prison to serve

Seeing You

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Although I’ve never met you
I see your beautiful body
Shoulders back
Walking proudly
I can’t help but write you
Always fresh and in a different form
I see right through my lines
The exact moment when he becomes you and she becomes me
A writers weakness is fulfillment of the mind
Do we have a choice of who it will be
I have a feeling that the answer is no; not even a maybe

I Remember You

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I listen to the rain outside; I think of you
Why now do I choose to remember
I miss the rain…Maybe I miss you.

A sad tune; takes me back
You should have kept that song
I need sadness…Maybe I need you.

Ears full of every song you’ve written
They quite rightly send me to you
I hear your melody…Maybe I hear you.

Your voice takes me back to that night
Strong hands play. I drift away
I wait for memories…Maybe I wait for you.

Your artistic mind allows for comfort
Today you will be my place to dwell
I wish for comfort…Maybe I wish for you.

Play our favorite notes: The deep ones
Allow my soul to sing
I can sing…Maybe I can sing for you.

That night you taught me how to play
Your arms wrapped around my body
I played for you…Maybe I taught you.

Feeling safe, free and secure; my speed
You encouraged my path beautifully
I remember it…Maybe I remember you.