Onward

gripping flocculent monochrome thoughts
like grass tuffs in summer
now willing their release,
i know not what will become of me.

coolness of springtime
wearing off inside my palms,
as deep down the warmth of earth corrects right side,
my defeated revered thumbs.

dark corners of the woodlands
beckon hither
my soul hinged upon true light,
sprites leading in delicate whisper
don’t go for fear of what might…

chase winter with abandon,
fragile heart,
much yet to be loved
like melodic hums chasing snowflakes on tips of tongues.

so come old man winter
blazing frosted cool crisp air,
however I am treasured,
stripped tree my protector,
expose of me what you dare.

Please, Mamma

good morning, my loves
little moments I adore
chocolate chip muffins

*Early morning practices require something special on a Friday. Last minute “please, Mamma requests” are my favorite to complete, no matter how old they get. Their smiles are worth baking before sunrise. 

Alone Inside My Head

I drove again
desolate, except for
Thedford,
lost alone inside my head.
wandered in the Sandhills
life: simpler; traditional.
not one wolf
maybe he lived beyond
the first crest of
rolling hills,
as smooth as curvy skin
from here, I think,
alone inside my head.
I like the shape of my breasts
as I look down due to insecurities
more than anything,
the way my favorite, blackest bra
holds them…
what I thought about while driving
alone inside my head.
yesterday, bent over my kitchen sink
crying and
wondering how I make life work,
I saw my long legs tucked into
my soft blue jeans
and thought
I adore my fuzzy slippers with these,
just me alone inside my head.
my reflection in the bathroom today,
concentrating on red curls,
specifically the one who chooses
to hang lower, looser than the rest,
she defies me,
I cheer for her
alone inside my head.

Here, So Far Away

in observing my nighttime
sky
his description flows through my
mind,
my eyes.
the love he has for
existence
and all of those surrounding
him
encourages my
heart,
even if I’m not the
priority.
does he feel the lifeline
between us,
and the ablity he has to
strengthen.
Twilight, enter me
slowly,
fill my eyes.
Reflect.
Allow the glow created
to sustain
my affection.

Aud

I dreamt of green,
a place where
I’m not forgotten.
Required
to be me,
writing as easily
as I breathe.
Yet, I wake cautious
clinched fists and
arms wrapping,
teeth clamped
with yellow hues
covering my body,
freezing in how
I’m seen.
maybe dreamland
is my preferred
reality,
I never said healthy.
Avoiding
the discovery of red,
as it would, obviously,
kill me.
So let me wander,
escape common,
offering
a captivating me,
if you can’t watch
then leave.

Lifetime

a lifetime
thinking it over
all the joys
the sadness
imprinting generations
building our strength

3/5/3/3/7/5 Shadorma Poetry

***

Nothing like a box Chevy (during a rebuild), booze, old country music and big brother’s barn on a Friday night. Baby, Middle and Red claiming seats as big brother chuckles. None of us would have it any other way. I love when we get together and laugh over ourselves.

Everyone’s version of our story is a little different, but oh we four see it the same… I love’em!