Undesirable Request

Silence is the result of what you’ve requested
Requested and desired are two different directions
Directions are explicit commands I submit to freely
Freely is how I materialize for you in your dreams
Dreams are the light during my darkest time
Time is all I’ve ever asked for, bashfully
Bashfully is the only way I know how
How is the question that will continue a circle
Circle is the shape for the ring of promise
Promise is the agreement of pinky fingers
Fingers grasp tightly, an act of true love
Love rarely survives the quiescient sound of being dismissed
Dismissed hearts will never answer to silence
*****
I enjoyed trying this style originally found on Benjamin’s blog: The Breakdown of Taboo – Leftovers. Thank you, Benjamin, for the permission to give this poetic form a try.

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39 thoughts on “Undesirable Request

  1. I very much like how you wove in different things, bringing together what I wouldn’t have thought were connected… dreams and circles and fingers and love. But then again, that’s the mark of a poem that hits true. And you hit it.

    • *sigh* Okay, I know it does seem a bit rambled, and may only make sense to me, but I’m relieved that you see there is a connection there, as well, Gus. I’m thankful you think so… I’ve never claimed to know what I’m doing poetically. I just write the words down and hope someone else gets it, too. You’re a great support, my dear.

    • I think the beauty of poetry is that it’s deeply personal — but also the experience can be different for the writer and different readers. The connections flow out of you into the poem and make sense to you. Then the reader may make other connections that are different. But then, there are some poems out there that I read and don’t connect with me on any level.

    • Yes Gus, I agree. I write for me first, but man does it feel good when another creative soul reads it and makes it their own for their personal reasons. True creative fulfillment, I’d say. I think like minded people identify with the same emotions, but then for totally different reasons. Way cool, huh? 🙂 There is a ton of poetry that I’ve read and had to search comment sections to understand. I wish I was smart enough to go that deep. I envy their abilities. However, I’m a simple lady and enjoy writing poems everyone can understand on some level, whether its the literal or the metaphorical twist I slide in for amusement and complete enjoyment.

  2. Wow, wow, wow. Much better than mine. I think you should try another one of those. That was truly amazing. So many lines I liked. This part is exceptional: “How is the question that will continue a circle / Circle is the shape for the ring of promise”.

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