Undesirable Request

Silence is the result of what you’ve requested
Requested and desired are two different directions
Directions are explicit commands I submit to freely
Freely is how I materialize for you in your dreams
Dreams are the light during my darkest time
Time is all I’ve ever asked for, bashfully
Bashfully is the only way I know how
How is the question that will continue a circle
Circle is the shape for the ring of promise
Promise is the agreement of pinky fingers
Fingers grasp tightly, an act of true love
Love rarely survives the quiescient sound of being dismissed
Dismissed hearts will never answer to silence
*****
I enjoyed trying this style originally found on Benjamin’s blog: The Breakdown of Taboo – Leftovers. Thank you, Benjamin, for the permission to give this poetic form a try.

Work Place Blog Hop

I’ve been asked to participate in a work place blog hop by our friend, John W. Howell. I know many of you already know him and find as much delight in his creative ways as I do. Have you purchased Johnny’s novel My GRL yet? You should, if you’re a crime fiction fan of any sort. He’s on my TBR list, but I fear he’s beginning to question the truth behind that admission. I adore his short stories and weekly haiku, as well. He has the best sense of humor and often brightens my day so stop by and say hi, if you can. This hop was created to showcase a writer’s writing space. You can read his post here.

Please excuse the photos, I couldn’t be bothered waiting for the sun to go down. I don’t want to keep John waiting any longer. I’ve missed out on a lot being gone a few days. Thanks for asking me to add my space and for being patient with me, John.

Welcome to my work space:

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Work Place when somewhat tidy.

My desk is found in the corner of two white walls, as white calms my thoughts. Everywhere else, I have loads of color, believe it or not. Do you see my gorgeous brown Gnome with red sunglasses and orange cone hat? He’s been through a lot, but still keeps me company. I’m pretty sure he used to play a lot of jazz. Bass, hopefully. My Kansas State University mug reminds me that I once partied, a lot. A mirror to remind me that I’m not perfect. For me, headphones are a must, as some of you already know. This apple computer station keeps my music running, internet feeding and allows for a large screen on days when I need to properly watch a blog video, like Duke’s weekly Ripping Movie Reviews.

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Maxine and Dotzie

This is the corner behind the desk. When I can, I love to keep the blinds and windows open for clean air and light, but it didn’t work when I tried to take a picture earlier. Apparently, there’s too much light to be had during the afternoon at this angle. Anyway, this is the growing station for two of my most beloved plants. The bigger lily is named Dotzie and the smaller one, Maxine. Dotzie is ten years old. Maxine is twenty-two years old. They were both given in condolence when grandmothers passed away. I keep them close, and only speak to them when I’m cleaning their leaves. They don’t mind being named after dead grandmothers. Both have been near death a few times, but somehow keep coming back. I was given Maxine at an age when nothing should have stayed alive in my care. Somehow, we both survived high school and then college.

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Staged messy desk… 😉

This is how my space looks most of the time. Well, when I have an opportunity to take over the space and stay awhile, that is. My phone, laptop, and Apple computer are all plugged in and being used in some fashion while in writing heaven. Okay, so a few more papers are generally being tossed around, but I tried to tidy up a bit.

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Sitting behind the wheel searching my mind for the perfect word.

In all honesty, when I’m posting a poem, this is what I’m looking at, if my poem is written in the morning. I have some time to listen to music while driving to work, then I take a moment to clear my thoughts before starting my day, which then produces a poem. Staring at this steering wheel might be a source of inspiration, but my guess is that the car’s seat holds me just right. Nothing better than being held just right, you know.

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Work Place most days…

During the school year I become super busy and miss a lot of opportunities to write at a normal desk. I’m often running from place to place, and usually arrive early, which allows for some typing on my Samsung Note while waiting in the car. I do my best to get my writing in every day, even if that means sitting in my car in a parking lot. Teachers wear many hats.

It’s a perfect day when I can write outside and enjoy a finishing view like this one.

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My evening view and sunset spot.

Now for my, as John says, Tagees:

Staci

Kate

Heather

Neha

Beth

Shari

Amy

Cleo

Morgan (Who, I know is currently on leave, but couldn’t leave her out ♡♡ Keeping she and her family in prayer.)

A Poetess Waits

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Casting down poetic eyes,
while fostering emotions differently,
an accepting Poetess waits.
To protect herself,
she delicately wraps,
her fated heart,
destined to react,
expressively.
Securing each subliminal verse,
as her own dreaded curse,
she stands alone.
Tears falling, gently,
escaping from her grasp,
lost inside moments,
she knows will pass.

Driving Away (Haiku)

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Vacation over
Writing emotions, draining
The grass is greener

*****
I cannot believe my vacation and five weeks back home are finished already. They flew past me in a gust of regret, it seems. I mean this in the most positive of way, of course.

Left wishing I’d taken more time and less time, as well. Regretting that I did too much, yet too little, of everything.
Left words unsaid, and said words I shouldn’t have allowed out of my mouth. Basically, I lived, as we all do, wishing I’d tried differently without changing a thing.

I love my family, my hometown, my memories new and old, the best of new opportunities, and the thrill of this adventure. My hope for this trip was to come to terms with yesterday’s regret. I’m sure I didn’t do that, however, I found peace in knowing I never will.

Sadly, I leave Nebraska, Kansas, Colorado, and Oklahoma a different woman, yet again. Tomorrow I’ll drive the large state of Texas from top to bottom and then I’ll rest. Wave, if you see a white Dodge Charger. It’ll be me. The tired lady who stayed in the Midwest a bit too long, but even now resists the urge to turn her car back around.

Colorado Throwback Tour

When I first arrived in Nebraska, back in June, vacation planning for the second week of July started out a bit rough. We laughed until tears fell, as we joked about the expectations of our Colorado adventure. Three sisters and their big brother trying to plan a childhood throwback tour, but failing miserably every time we tried to cross off an item from our to do list.

We all had ideas, moments we wanted to recapture and places we wanted to reside near, while touring our childhood summer vacation spots.

One would think that by our age we could act like adults. Weigh the pros and cons of each idea and simply devise a plan. However, during early discussions, it occurred to me that we easily revert back to acting like adolescent siblings.

Middle backs up Baby most of the time, because she’s used to it. When paired off for summer visits with distant family she was with Baby a lot of the time, so they have a bond that was created years ago and we wouldn’t think of with it. Honestly, we all back up Baby, for obvious reasons. She’s the youngest and everyone’s favorite, so she usually gets her way. (She may or may not be the favorite, but none of us are willing to fess up or challenge her willingly.)

Me, Oldest, backs up Big Brother, because we share an oldest responsibility and have a feisty redheadedness that seems to work better in pairs. He shoots his thoughts straight from the hip, most cowboys do, and I wrangle him fairly well when the others think he’s being too stubborn. (Y’all know how redheads can be, right? Smile and wave…)

Baby backs up Middle, mostly because Middle is a control freak, which we all respect her for, but Baby can tolerate with more patience than anyone else. (We all may be control freaks, but Middle has been dubbed with the tag, so we go with it, okay?) Middle gets the job done with or without a pleasent smile. She’s the one we send in to battle. We even point our fingers as we stand behind her.

This must leave you wondering who backs up the Oldest Sister. Probably leaves you doing some math in your head, too. Well stop, it won’t work out mathematically, we’ve all tried. Fine. Okay, the answer is Big Brother. Mostly, because we’re similar in a lot ways, but also because we were often paired up when shipped to the grandparent’s for a visit. One learns to lean on the consistency of normal.

Truthfully, the four of us back each other up all day long. We call each other out on our ridiculousness and awesomeness, as well.

I’m really more of a prop during discussions, and have the role of keeping everyone happy or laughing, so the upside to this is that all three want to try and please me. (Not really, but it feels really good to write that down.)

You know, moving away from home and only seeing them twice a year has its advantages. I’m funnier than normal, much more rational and go down in history as an amazing people pleaser. (Yes, I could be exaggerating, but I’m writing this, so I get to be whomever I want.)

Sadly, after two and a half days we still didn’t have our Colorado Throwback Tour completely planned, but we were having fun trying. Here’s how one moment went as we were deciding on where we’d stay while on vacation. I feel the need to share this, as it was hysterical at the time. Enjoy!

*****

I should set this story up for you, a bit. We had spent the better part of a day researching online and calling places looking for the regulars, you know, availability, accommodations and location. We were striking out more than not, and it was beginning to seem entirely too funny.

At one point we called a lodge near Nederland, CO, which had enough rooms to accommodate our group. Middle was doing the talking, I was lying on the couch with Baby on my speaker phone and Big Brother was quietly sitting.

I could tell that the conversation between Middle and the person on the phone wasn’t going as we’d hoped. It was the tone in her voice, the random stare at her fingernails, and the complete boredom coming from her eyes. I knew we were in trouble when Middle’s nose curled up.

“Oh really?” She said. “Well, I guess we could do that, Sir. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to talk that over with the group first, however. ”

Her attitude had caught my attention a little bit before that and I whispered to Baby, “This isn’t the resort either…”

Middle kept talking and the conversation between the two of them continued to sound less than favorable. That’s when I cracked emotionally. Being the nut that I am, I lost it and began giggling. Planning a trip had gotten into my head and out of exhaustion I retaliated.

“Tell him we refuse to feed the homeless man that’s living under the porch,” I snickered quietly.

Baby laughs, “Yeah, no kidding!”

“Geez, just hang up,” I encouraged.

Baby started laughing, “Yeah, we don’t cook.” (We do…)

Middle, who was trying to keep her composure, smothered a giggle and I saw her do it. Folks? This is where the laughter blew up around us.

Middle began snapping her fingers, pointing at me and mouthing, “Stop it!”, over and over again, which has proven in moments past only to make things worse. She tries to be so intimidating and sometimes it works on us.

I make eye contact with Middle for the first time, since I started laughing, and she’s grinning, but still trying to hold down a conversation. This wasn’t the place for our family. She was just prolonging the inevitable, while quietly giggling. More like stifling a laugh, which then opens up the flood gates as I roar with laughter. Baby following suit. Big Brother is snickering and laughing, as he does, by stopping his natural breathing and becoming red in the face, as he falls over on to the floor.

Middle, in a fit of mumbled laughter says, “I’m sorry. I’ll have to call you back.” She hangs up the phone and exclaims, “That’s it! I’m done! Someone else is calling from now on!”

The four of us continue laughing into the night. Yes, another unsuccessful day of planning for us was achieved.

*****

Afterwards, I silently sat there daydreaming about this homeless man I’d creatively dreamt up. My story was that we would have been asked if we were willing to feed the homeless man living nearby, twice a day. Maybe he happened to be writing the next best american survival novel under random porches, one of which could have been ours, if he liked us. Only half of our group would’ve been on board with this idea, I think. I can’t imagine why.

He seems mysterious already and not one of us could have denied that the humorous jokes would’ve gone on for days. Keeping everyone upbeat and happy throught our vacation. The upside also being we could be part of history, if he would have become famous. Plus, he would have probably been well understood and accepted at the resort or been hauled off before we arrived. Wouldn’t you think?

Personally, I found my daydreaming extremely inspirational and began writing questions in order to have interviewed him properly. I’d have called him Hank, I think.

Bummer we didn’t go for a stay with Hank, don’t you think?

*****

We leave in just a few short hours in this 12 passenger van we’ve nicknamed White Lightening.

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White Lightning

We’ve had our t-shirts made for the 2014 Colorado Throwback Tour. Don’t forget the matching survival bracelets we made with love. Cool, right? This was Mom’s idea. She the often quiet and steady voice of reason.

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Throwback T-Shirt

The back of our t-shirts took a little thought and we decided to go with what made sense. After all the preparation, in order for us to travel back to Colorado, we thought it was only appropriate to express our desire properly.

One of our main goals was to have our family hike to the Meadow. A mountain destination that our family has been hiking to for generations. The spot our grandparents had taken us every year for as far back as I can remember. We’d stay in this cabin and hike nearly every day of our vacation. The four of us kids love this place.

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Family Cabin Of Years Past

The trail, not far from the family cabin, holds hundreds of memories and in every way has bonded us for life. The Meadow is beautiful and I plan on sharing photos of her soon. We found it fitting that we put this on the back of our shirts.

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All This For The Meadow

Wish us luck!