Passion

The author wrote as if she had met the one I crave, finding him perfectly secure, genuine and honest before her.

She noticed the same details as I, and it shatters me to realize someone sees in him what I do and she may have the chance at a forever.

Which means I’m expendable, just one in hundreds of options.

Ha! Not that I ever stood a chance, I knew the minute we met he’d never settle for less than perfection.

He wouldn’t need to, because he was capable on his own and I added nothing he craved.

Parts of Me

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You may see a wreck
Pointless pile of rubble
But watch where you step

Soft
Hard
Color
Life

Memories survive here
Beautiful palette of wild
Each particle a part of me

You may see rocks or meaningless pebbles. I see generations of my family walking this trail together. The dust you feel on your cheek was made by my grandfather’s boots. Men who worked countless hours to bring variegated boulders off mountains and creeks.

This muddy ground is the true stability I craved, as a young girl who needed to feel safe, and not just a vessel to walk upon. You may see weak or wild grass, which you consider far too thin. I noticed the movement of the wind, as it traveled the terrain of these mountains, a wild strength on its approach. Offering a young woman security and comfort, while she embraced a protective sway.

You notice simple yellow flowers, maybe considering their lack of generous beauty, before dismissing their worth. I remember a bouquet of brave flowers growing and welcoming me each summer, a spectacular vision for my homecoming. Allowing me the peace to believe that lingering sorrows would surely be eliminated here, as I familiarized myself with seeing love. Wildflowers promising I’d shine once again, if I would only breathe and recall their ability to thrive.

This is what I recall when I look at this patch someone else might find insignificant. It fixed me.  For those who see what I see, I will take your pain as mine.

Every Day – Haibun

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You hold my hand differently
Force these words away
Common sense tells me, ignore
Yet, I remember, every day

*****

“You shouldn’t share every word you write, caused by every feeling you have…”

“…but, if I wait until I can share perfection, even a valid effort, then I’d never share again.”

“How can you be okay with showing mediocrity?…”

“…It hadn’t occurred to me.”

“Surely, you notice where you fail.”

“I try not to think about it.”

“Honestly, none of this makes any sense, Audrey.”

“Thank you, for confirming.”

*****

Trust isn’t easy
Now do you understand why
 I want to believe

 

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The photos shared with this Haibun are of the Devil’s Backbone Open Space, located just outside the northern end of the Rocky Mountain foothills, as you drive into Fort Collins, Colorado. You can read more about it here. Consequently, I did witness the largest rattlesnake I’ve ever seen while near this trail.

Keep in mind, I’m no photographer, I just wanted you to see more of this area of the world, and the topography it owns. Expressing myself here feels different, maybe I’m more in tune with who I am when I’m in Colorado. ♡

Happy Friday, Y’all.