Thinking done here, someplace special
I tend to keep you to myself
I think I’ll call you, The Sleeper
That way I don’t have to share you with anyone else
You understand where my mind is
That isn’t an easy thing to do
Thank you for the beautiful picture
Your words, too
I came across some interesting news over the holidays. Did you know that if you Google my name, Audrey Dawn, the first page of info will be about porn? Yes, that’s right, Audrey Dawn is a porn star, as well. Let’s cue the music, shall we?
Bow Chica Wow Wow…
I have to say that I’m pretty thrilled she isn’t a redhead. Can you imagine me trying to explain away that misunderstanding? The details are sketchy but I’m fairly certain that my physical features do not mirror hers. I can almost hear the stampede of men leaving right now to investigate. Thanks a lot guys.
I’ve got to get to my point and quick.
So yeah, curiosity hit me. I Googled Audrey Dawn. Oh joy! I share my name with a few others as well, just none with a profession as exciting as porn. Porn Audrey Dawn is a character from a movie. The movie is from a few years ago. The actress who played her is also linked to our name. What I’m wondering now is can I overcome the rather “large” presence and possible domain over our name. Can I possibly become the #1 Audrey Dawn without resorting to porn?
I did a lot of reading over the holidays and everyone is talking about change. I read about new blogging directions, stats, growing an audience, and even marketing yourself. It wasn’t my intention to learn more, basically I fell right into it here on WordPress. I found it interesting. Actually, I found that the why it’s important to us was much more compelling.
The ultimate goal is in front of all of us. I suppose very few are as unaware as I am as to where the finish line’s located. It’s here somewhere. I remember reading about it and maybe even seeing a picture once.
We should follow strong and seasoned writers. The best sellers of the world have much to say and we should entertain it. I also find it imperative to follow writers who seem to be running the same speed. If you’d like, I’ll read to you of Tortoise and the Hare. I understand the reasons for keeping pace with those you want to challenge or overtake. It’s when it becomes too important that I worry. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. You are where you’re supposed to be right now. You’ll get to those other places when you’re meant to and not a page sooner.
I didn’t want to discover this Google information, but I wonder if I’m stuck with it now. Am I always going to be Second Page Audrey Dawn? Is there a chance that I can overcome Porn Audrey Dawn? I lean towards waving a white flag and accepting my place in Google’s rankings.
I mean I’m good, but I’m not that good. She’s working with plastics, make-up and good lighting. I simply have make-up, blue ink in my pen and clean white paper. Do you hear her sinking my battleship? You weren’t supposed to say yes.
Oh! Never fear, Aud’s here and I’m going to overcome all the other Audrey Dawns because I’m a glutton for punishment.
I figure I can:
1. give it all I’ve got.
2. keep my eye on the prize.
3. have spark in my sparkle.
4. can be all I can be.
5. beat her at the Audrey Dawn Game.
What I’ve learned from this experience is that when you start wondering about yourself it makes me wonder about myself. Yeah, I know. I have bigger problems yet to face. Your posts executed my thinking on how unaware I am over how I’m doing. I caved. I Googled myself and now it seems that I’ll be searching myself a lot more frequently to see how I’m measuring against her. (No, I won’t.)
My guess is that very few of you are competing with a story about porn. Scratch that, everyone seems to be competing with porn, so I should focus on what I was doing before I Googled my name. Anyone else get the sense that I’m talking to myself? Even the woman are like…Well just let me go have a look…
I think I’ll investigate Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister from now on and leave Audrey Dawn alone for a while.
Artistic doodles on a page
I won’t write what I want to say
Ancient alphabet across my paper
A message dances within these letters
Blue ink in my pen
For purpose, the invasion seems driven
My name written over and over
A reminder of who I am
Fierce places for my mind to travel
A desire to fill my needs
Writing of love it shall be
Wake me when it is over
“I could care less how much you get paid to do your job. The facts remain the same. One, your writing comes off as know-it-all. Two, you write yourself in an extremely ugly image (How many sticks are up there anyway?). Three, it doesn’t matter how accomplished you are, I wouldn’t sit for a moment with you and listen to your advice. You don’t get to tell anyone who they can be or when they can choose to be it. At the end of the day, Lady, you are self-important and very boring.” ~Oldest Daughter & Redheaded Sister
Tough day? Yeah, then sometimes I read blogs to relax and just have to shake my head.
Hey Blogger, I need to wipe my eyes clean after that comment. My advice? Screen your comment section or find time to filter through your followers. Write for followers that genuinely encourage, fairly review and enhance your goal towards being who you want to be, not someone willing to knock you down a few notches, while they tell you why they’re so freaking awesome.
Do you know what comes to mind….that elementary taunt that goes something like this….
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah…I’m better than you are…
Remember I’m the Oldest Sister, and I stand up for those who haven’t figured life out for themselves yet.
I won’t be following that blog, either.
Gag me with a spoon!
YES, I’M SHOWING MY AGE WITH THAT PHRASE.
Okay, as you were. My coffee’s done. It’s going to be a long night. I’ve found just the right state of mind to continue writing this chapter …
“Off, with her head!” (My character won’t even see it coming…)
“The Theme you play at the start of a number is the territory,
and what comes after, which may have very little to do with it,
is the Adventure!” – Ornette Coleman
She Waits With Music
by: Audrey Dawn
Patrons walked by her. They paused to take a look, but then chose to move on, often times with a glance back, as if wondering whether she’d be okay. Yes, it was late and she’d been there awhile listening to the light leftover sounds of the imaginative and free style jazz music coming from Basie’s place. A woman isn’t normally out by herself on a street full of dark alleys; short streets filled with dirty puddles which contain the smells rejected by most. She couldn’t allow herself to go inside the bar.
What if she missed him walking by that corner over there or there. Her eyes drifted side to side. She’d decided that the open air, coupled with waiting close by, would allow her to see each visitor who enjoyed this part of town. This time of night. Ambrosia knew she shouldn’t wait outside alone, yet she’d told herself she’d engage in the hopes of finding him. Continue reading
Heading into a bit of ridiculousness. Beware!
C – Contains all I need to focus this morning.
O – Often the one I lean on in situations where my hands need a break from persevering.
F – Friends join in, comment on my work and sit while, as I consider their point of view.
F – Familiar fumes of Columbian beans fill my space then proceed to remind me of Dad, too.
E – Entertained at my options: cold or hot, as long as it’s mocha I’ll have a drop.
E – Each time I pour a cup I’m relieved we established early. I know you and you know me.
Familiarity…
It’s finally quiet and I can write in peace for the Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time.
The hum of the television is on in the background. Thankfully, it’s just the right amount of noise to persuade me to tune out the world and gather my thoughts.
I hear Robin William’s voice in the air as the house catches his premier episode.
Side Note:
Is he still funny? I’m torn. There are moments, while listening to his voice, that remind me of the days when he was spot on in his delivery. Now, I’m thinking it’s mostly forced and I’m not really into it.
Okay, bye.
Thanks for trying. (as the door slams OR the mouse clicks the X) Sorry, Robin. RV is still a family favorite.
For those of you who can’t agree with me, but can’t count my opinion out either, I thank you. Thank you for allowing me a little more time to convince you to continue reading.
I promise there must be something in this rambling brain of mine that wants to be heard. I know this because it’s been a few days since my fingers felt like race horses. Yeah, lately I’ve been housing ten little race horses that love to get out and run.
Literally, since this afternoon, I’ve sat down at the computer atleast six times. I’ve giggled at a lot I came across on WordPress, enjoyed some very thoughtful posts or pictures, and sat in awe while listening to a particularly smart story.
Anyway, I’d sit here at my desk and allow my fingers to start rubbing the keys. Then they’d bounce with the featheriest of clicks. I hadn’t actually given the green light to allow enough pressure to make the letters appear on the screen, but I could feel it coming. Can you picture it? My fingers just lightly diddling along waiting to be told it was time.
My ears waiting for the, Ding!
Do you have that visual of the little black horse, too?
You know the one. He’s the horse a few of us love to bet on when we’re attending the Kentucky Derby for the first time.
Or maybe that was just me.
Horse racing event (Photo credit: tpower1978)
He’s the long shot horse that seems to shine as bright as the sun, he has muscles that twitch with excitement as he hears the familiar crowd around him. He’s the animal no one will see coming or sadly he’d been counted out long before race day. Quietly, he’s proven that he’s up for the challenge and worthy of attention.
He’s ready to do his job, he’s ready to race.
I can actually see him trying to climb over the gate. That little swinging door, which is the only piece of material that holds him back from running, from charging forward, with all his might, eagerly approaching the goal they, the horse and his people, had been working towards. The gate holds him back, he snarls with frustration and something narley comes out of his nostrils after hearing, from behind him, that he’ll need to wait a bit longer….
Yeah, that was me. Each time I sat down to write my thoughts something else came up and I’d have to wait.
All of it was valuable, I don’t want to complain in the least, but truthfully they were all distractions. Work, my husband, children, friends, creative blog posts, jaw dropping videos spewing creativity filled with arrangements which further my interests, they all got in the way, yet I welcomed them.
Great distractions, I can’t stress that enough.
Nevertheless, when Friday gets here I’m just itching to get to the screen for some extra uninterrupted writing. Possibly, some coffee shop journaling should be done and mostly a lot of expected research about how I could/would/should improve my abilities is required.
Now that’s a list in itself, so I try not to get too worked up about how far behind I am or when waiting is the only option. Heaven help me if speculations find their way into my thoughts. Thoughts of how elementary my musings seemingly are compared to other seasoned writers.
We all go there once and a while and just thinking about some of it makes my skin crawl. I have to fight off my feelings of throwing in the towel.
I mean, seriously!
Okay, one more Side Note: (pause for my, the crazy lady’s, rant)
How is it that I’ve known this woman for, Oh, I don’t know… how long???… and I’m just NOW learning that she’s an inspiring local writer and someone I could have been talking to all along! Okay, I’m seriously crawling out of my skin about this discovery.
Honestly, we all know from past posts, I’d never actually talk reasonably or rationally about my dreams with her, but wow, I’m stunned, silenced and, actually, I have a bit of a crush on her now. She’s doing what I want to do and she does it effortlessly well.
See this is the reason why she’s multi-talented and I’m just here trying to find someone who wants to read this post. It all really just makes so much more sense now. She walks around in our circle of friends just radiating loveliness, peace, grace and normalcy, which is why I always react to her fondly. However, I should have also listened to myself when I wondered about what she did for a living, all the while blocking it out, because the right thing to do was to wait for her to mention it.
Anyway….blah blah blah…she’s the real deal. Love her.
I’m a hot mess. I can’t even find time to edit work a bit more thought-provoking for you tonight.
Y’all are stuck with this mess. Thanks for seeing this post through til the end. Now I just wanna go back to reading about someone else’s awesomeness.
My ten race horses apparently only needed to prance around a bit and then requested we head back to the stables for bed.
Tomorrow’s breakfast is rumored to be fit for Champions. So, there’s hope yet my friends.
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister 