For Now

Ann finished with the dishes, even the dirty ones, left in the little sink, found just past the front door of the studio apartment she’d rented from Shelby.

Leaning up against the light green counter, while looking out towards the stove, she exhaled the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Turns out moving is physically harder than she initially believed. 

Why had she?

Did it matter if the stove was clean or not? She didn’t feel like eating anyway.

Ann’s legs weakened. It was a slow slide down the narrow cubbard and onto the kitchen floor. 

None of this made sense anyway. It was all too soon.

The grey tile was cold. She laid against it for too long and woke up startled. Ann surprised herself by falling asleep, but the intensity of her dream caused her to jump. She straightened up into a sitting position, while her finger slowly traced the fresh indentions on her cheek.

 What time was it…

Just then a lone roach crawled past her and towards the sink.

Great.

It’s just me and him.

Me, him and his tiny little army in the back of the cubbard.

She quickly got off the floor and added bug spray, killer or annihilator to her list of things to pick up at the store, possibly, or maybe one day.

Ann fumbled into her bedroom, after cleaning the bathroom and sitting space, nearly tripping on the step required to enter. 

The door hit the wall behind it with a bang and Ann’s body shook. There wasn’t much room for her or anything else, but it would do. 

She was thankful Shelby had sent over new and laundered bedding before her arrival. Admittedly, there had been little time for anything else. 

She could handle living down the hall from a few roaches for now, but sleeping in dirty and used bedding would’ve only caused her further anxiety. Ann figured she’d cling to the bed’s cleanliness.

She focused on the purple and gold comforter covering the mattress . Was it designed for a tiny apartment bed like this or did the designer, who had carefully chosen the fabric and vision, imagine a grander setting?

She often wondered over people’s intentions. 

She watched her fingers comb down the side of the bed, as if not really present in the room. With her foot Ann slid the closet door shut.

Eying her suitcases on the dresser she decided her clothes could wait. Like almost everything else in her life.

Briefly considering, obviously reconciling an internal struggle not to sweep the dust away, and lacking the strength to look the reality of the room in the eye, she made the choice to forgo her bedroom responsibilities for now. 

Ann lifted the bottom window and scanned the view in front of her. 

A black dog ran sideways across the quiet street with a yelp.

“Get outta here,” an old woman grumbled, while wiping her hands on her apron.

Ann slowly shook her head and held back a giggle, as she watched the dog run back towards town. The woman mumbling something as she turned and headed back into her garden was a pleasant surprise.

Ann smiled. Might have been the first time in months. 

She’d go down and introduce herself to the feisty one next door soon. She pulled the curtains away from the window revealing twilight over the overgrown grassy hill in the distance. 

She leaned her forehead in slowly and placed the palm of her hands against the cool glass, as her body submitted to the weakness she couldn’t overcome.

This sure was a sleepy town. Not one car passed by in the five minutes her face was stuck to the window pane.

At least the outdoor surroundings brought comfort.

Suddenly, she heard a long howl. It sounded like an animal in pain, and was coming from the south. The cry brought back another familiar sound. 

Ann found herself walking towards the bed. Lost in recent events, obviously too painful to revisit, yet needing to forget, her body melting into the covers.

***

This is an old thought of mine from a few years back. Found it while searching for another story I’d written. 

Something about this one though…

Why writing of melancholy comforts me I’ll never know. I began this blog because my friends said I was funny and needed to share my humor. 

But my soul speaks differently.

What I’ve found is worth so much more. I’ve given myself. I’ve found me. And I’ll be.

Thank you for listening.

It is my hope light continues to shine it’s favor. 

Advertisements

Violaceous Queen

image

Protectors surround deep purple
Guarding with swords of honor
Blushing shades of innocence
She relies on each Warrior
Sent by the Verduous King
To provide for her every need
She, his Violaceous Queen
Displayed pleasingly alfresco
Honoring him with her submission

My Brother’s View

image

Saying good-bye to this amazing view of my Big Brother’s backyard today. We’ve packed our bags and we’re Kansas bound for the weekend. The lake is calling our name and so is our Dad. I cannot wait to hug him close and spend some quality time in his boat.

I hope to catch at least one fish this evening. I’d love to write a poem about a fish, but I’d settle for a longing poem about the one that got away. Ha!

Big Brother and I have all we need in order to have some fun in the sun. His black Silverado and my white Charger will be rockin’ some country music favorites along the way. Any suggestions? Adventure awaits, my friends. I’m super excited to take a trip with my brother and the children. We can’t possibly mess this up. Have a blessed and relaxing weekend!!

A Moment Ago

image

“Well, I don’t think you should look at life like that, honestly.”
“How should I look at change then, Darling? Isn’t this view amazing? Think about how wonderful star gazing would be from this spot.”
“I’d rather discuss what you surprised me with a moment ago.”
“You seem rather proud of yourself, Handsome.”
“I’m proud of you, actually. ”
“I was thinking we should buy this place.”
“I agree. Earlier, when you had your hand in my pocket teasing me, I had visions of your naked body right here.”
“Ahh, and now here I am.”
“Yes, isn’t that the strangest coincidence, Love.”
“You always could get me to do anything, you know.”
“Let’s just remember who was naked first, shall we?”

Happy Anniversary (Sexual Content)

Yep, Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister is a year old today!! I received my seal from them last night. I was aware the anniversary was approaching, but I’m shocked at how I feel now that WordPress has validated me. Tearful, I suppose. A huge thank you for reading this blog, my friends. I am humbled by your encouragement and love. Thank you for pushing me to try harder.

This year has been amazing. I have found so much joy in creating each post. I am grateful for every word that has been written. I’m thankful you have read and enjoyed my simple thoughts. I’m also thrilled that so many of you have stuck with me the entire year.

I remember being content and satisfied over my first follower. I could have stopped right then and there, actually. Now, there are over a thousand of you. Do you know what that does to me? You could push me over with a feather, as I reflect in amazement.

Thank you for allowing me to sit amongst all of you and for letting me to grow beside your creativity. It has truly been an honor and a privilege.

Now, in thanks and celebration I give you a quick short story. This is also the fruition of a promise I made to myself, a fulfillment of sorts, to push myself out of my box. To show, who I am as a writer, all in the name of romance and love.

How the anniversary night of two people madly in love should start out, I believe.

Enjoy! Love and best wishes towards your creativity today,
~ I love you~ Audrey
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

“Hey, Baby. Did you make that chocolate cake for me?” He asked with skeptical seduction in his eyes, while standing in the doorway of the exposed kitchen.

“Welcome home, Love. Yeah I did, for our anniversary, actually. I know you’ve been working hard all week on your deadline. I thought I would attempt to do something nice. Maybe we could just stay in tonight?”

He watched her stare down at the floor, while folding a towel. Simply a prop, he realized, to mask her true thoughts and needs. His head jerked up in surprise, as his body became aware of her pulse, “What? You thought I forgot, didn’t you?”

“No, honestly, I just wanted tonight to be quiet. Relaxing.” She loved when he nodded at her, as if all-knowing and fierce.

“I know you better than that, I think,” he warned, while slowly walking towards her side of the kitchen. The smell of candles burning tickled his senses, but those were more for her than him. He loved her delicate desires.

With her heart producing a vibration strong enough to be heard, she backed up against the oven, which was still warm. Her phone rang.

“Let me answer this call. It could be important,” she said. Her glowing features revealing too much excitement, as he immediately narrowed the distance between the two of them.

Her needy eyes were forced to look into his, as he grabbed her by the waist, “No, you’ll stay right here.” He took the phone from her trembling hands, and threw it against the exposed brick wall of their studio. There was absolutely no need for that mundane distraction when he was home. He’d easily replace the iPhone tomorrow.

“Yes…okay,” she replied desperately while taking a deep breath in, and allowing it to escape slowly through her quivering bottom lip.

“Now, answer me again. You made this moist cake right here for me, didn’t you, Darling?”

She watched him place his finger into the center of the warm cake, and slowly draw his creamy finger back out. Circling the frosting lightly before pushing it in a second time, pausing as he searched her body’s reaction. She closed her eyes, as the sensations took over any control she had left, “Yes, I did. I made the cake.”

“For me! Say it was made…for me!” He forced out, while probing her lustful eyes. Insistent that she claim him with her admission, he stood strong.

“The cake is for you,” she whispered, as four of his fingers found rest on either side of her jaw.

“It’s all mine?” He interrogated, while placing his middle finger in her mouth. He knew she loved chocolate. He loved nothing more than watching her beautiful face light up with passion.

“All yours,” she forced out. Her tongue and lips readily sucking his finger clean.

He looked around the tidy kitchen, and then quickly picked her up and placed her on the glass stove top. Heat attacked her favorite blue jeans instantly, and it swiftly advanced towards her already tingling skin.

“Stove, hot?”

“Umm, hmm,” she moaned softly.

“Look at me!”

Her yearning eyes found his in a rush, “Yes.”

“I prefer my cake and my lady warm, you know.”

She sighed voluntarily, knowing it would only lead to trouble.

He reacted by confidently pulling her arms above her head and back towards the tile behind her with speed. The act allowed for a perfect arch, created by her body and his resistance. This made him very happy. Breasts up and out, effortlessly standing for his attention.

“Don’t take your eyes off of mine. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she blinked. Then she blinked again, because she knew she could get away with a little teasing. The act allowed for his continued frustration with her. Parting her lips, she allowed a brief laugh to leak out.

With one hand holding her arms over her head, he used the other to gently grab her neck. Coaching his thumb to begin allowing pressure to her lovely throat. Just enough force that she knew he was in complete control of her. His calloused hand was shaking with need, yet easily reacting to her mind’s desire.

He breathed quietly. Calming his urges to rip her clothes off, he silently reminded himself of the process she prefered. He thought of her need to play. To dance in a submissive rhythm. He would be the harsh and dominate man she needed, while his insides weakened in her presence.

Her submitting eyes continued to stay on his, however, she made a quick move to pull herself closer to the heat he was radiating. Wrapping her legs around his waist she confidently gathered him inside her thighs. His face above her concealed breasts, yet close enough that he could see her excitement, as he looked down and into her shirt. Her arms over her head, him between her legs and their eyes locked inside each other, as they slowly progressed towards love’s wild and promised passion.

Oh, how he loved the look of her body in this position. In a low moan he finally spoke, “I will kiss you now however I want, wherever I want, then I’m going wish you a Happy Anniversary. Enjoy this tender act, because after, I’m going to lay you down across this cold counter. Do you understand?”

“Yes, my love, I understand…”

“May you never leave me…”

His lips hard and demanding. Her lips longing and ready. Passion igniting over their love story.

*** *** ***
Thanks for entertaining my creativity this Friday morning. Have a wonderful and productive day.

Blessings ~ Audrey

A Letter

I ran today. I ran as far as these long legs would take me. Over hills, through busy streets and even through water, I ran. I still couldn’t hide my thoughts of you. Climbing the hills wasn’t easy.  Every mountain I’ve had to climb recently, for you, is to blame.

Energies spent keeping myself together to look pretty and talk honestly was time wasted on you. Each moment I felt like walking made me push through, because I still hear your words telling me I’ll never do. Never be good enough, yes, this may be true, but I will always choose to disagree.

When I returned from my journey a shower I craved. Not you, a shower, I know that disappoints your power, strong man. I tried to allow the hot water to ease my pains. Relax the muscles I’ve already gained by running from you. I scrubbed the smell of the energy I spent on you off my body, I found myself, focusing on my face.

I hate each freckle placed on my skin. They won’t come off no matter how much I scrap. I blame you. You didn’t see this flawed skin as beauty, only as a redheaded cutie. Oh yeah, my hair, your favorite part, you prefer it long this I know. So do I, but I cut it short, yes this was my way of controlling you.

Unfortunately, the act of cutting my hair short became a conquest for you. One you loved to defeat. I never liked how owning you felt, so I allowed my curls to grow long once again. Feeling relieved that I, finally, felt like me.  I regret not telling you that it was all for not.

When I dressed today it wasn’t for you. I’ll admit, recently it had been my motovation. Which set of concealment for under my clothes would I have wanted to reveal for you, if the opportunity found me. I chose the top to match the bottom, often black and mostly lace, never because I liked the feeling. Always for you, in hopes that you’re dreaming of me.

Not today, I dress for me I can’t imagine caring about what you need. This is for me, you know, what I chose to conceal my breasts in today. The fabric is soft and it soothes me.

I am a woman.

I choose what’s best for me.

I know you like these black boots,  but so do I. I’ve always worn them for me. Never for you, that’s the best part of my story. When you thought I was under your impression, silly boy, in truth wearing these boots made me feel free. I got my way. The leather is soft and I prefer it, so the jokes on you. I liked keeping it that way. Yes, same with my jeans. Damn, they look good on me.

Ha! I can sense your need to scream. Too bad you’re so far away. I’m sitting here pretty and confessing. I concur, the blue jeans sit well on me. I am a woman. You can’t decide for me, if I choose to be sexy then that’s all on me. I score the points, take the heat, you don’t receive any of the rewarding.

My desire to write this today should create pride inside of me. I sound so strong and proud of where you’ve left me. The problem is that it was I who left you. Not the other way around, yes, this will come as quite a shock.

I push everyone away. Silly boy. Stupid boy, I’m sorry. You can’t chain me in. Yet, you never really tried. I’m wild. I’ve been a pawn for love before. My pain owned me. I won’t ever go back. I spent my childhood locked inside craving love. What I learned there was that no one proved they were worth all of me.

Protect me, first, I must. No one has the power needed to break me. Giving of myself, well, weakness of the worst kind. A strong man willing to fight, he may not exist.

You think you can ride me? I’ll knock you down. I have perfect timing. Stay clear and walk to the side. You’ll never be inside this mind. Enjoy me when I’m on display. I know you crave my laughter and pleasing ways. Relish them when you can, because they never stay. I warned you. Eventually, you listened. Now you’re a pile of rubble. I blame myself. You’re a good man. I’m a beast. Run from me.

I ran today to out run you. I think it’s clear now. I run to run away from me, too.

I’m broken. And I love you.

Celebrate Women ~ We’re Complicated

A Sparkly Joke

“Do you want to hear a joke?”
“No, not really.”
“Come on, you like my humor. This is a great joke, Audrey.”
“I’m afraid I won’t know when to laugh.”
“Yes, you will! Your timing is perfect.”
“But, life’s been so serious lately.”
“Woman, let me tell you my joke! You’ll give me that boisterous laugh I crave.”
“I’m not sure I would…how do you know?”
“You tend to make most speaks a joke. That’s how I’ll know.”
“Well not anymore I won’t! ”
“Of course you will, because it’s part of who you are, my dear. The bonus being that you’ll see past it now, as well.”
“Do you really think so, babe?”
“I do!”
“Okay, well press forward then would you.”
“You want me to tell my joke now? Giving me permission?  How quickly you become her…”
“*smirk* Yes, of course, my love.”
“I’m going to ignore that…Why did the chicken cross the road, Audrey?”
“Hmmm, because he saw something sparkly. DUH!”
“NO! Sparkly?! What kind of reason is that to cross a road?”
“Well, isn’t it normal to be attracted to something sparkly?”
“Maybe, but are chickens drawn there?”
“I think they must be…”
“You’ve ruined my joke!”
“I’m sorry. I think you think I’m a chicken…tell me. Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“I’m not sure I want to tell you now…”
“Please, my love, just tell me.”
“Okay, but nothing I tell you will seem funny after all of that ridiculousness! He crossed the road, well, to get to the other side.”
*giggles*
“You laughed?!”
“Haha. Yes!”
“How? Why?”
“It is just as I said. The chicken did see something sparkly, which helped him to the other side.”
“Okay, what could that have possibly been?”
“Come over here and let me thank you for making me laugh.”
“I’m not sure I want to…I’m still sorting out why a chicken is drawn to sparkly objects and what it could have been.”
“Now you’re sparkly! Kiss me.”