Alone Inside My Head

I drove again
desolate, except for
Thedford,
lost alone inside my head.
wandered in the Sandhills
life: simpler; traditional.
not one wolf
maybe he lived beyond
the first crest of
rolling hills,
as smooth as curvy skin
from here, I think,
alone inside my head.
I like the shape of my breasts
as I look down due to insecurities
more than anything,
the way my favorite, blackest bra
holds them…
what I thought about while driving
alone inside my head.
yesterday, bent over my kitchen sink
crying and
wondering how I make life work,
I saw my long legs tucked into
my soft blue jeans
and thought
I adore my fuzzy slippers with these,
just me alone inside my head.
my reflection in the bathroom today,
concentrating on red curls,
specifically the one who chooses
to hang lower, looser than the rest,
she defies me,
I cheer for her
alone inside my head.

With or Without

She was quiet this morning,
Dawn, that is, miraculous,
Peaceful in her timeless dignity.

Two mallards skim rural water, as twin rogues,
Before taking flight with one another,
Their sky, a season of cerulean.

An ibis flirted with stoic wind,
Hardly noticed and without sound,
As her white wings rode his reliable gift.

Nature thrilled with my insistent watchful probe,
Created a warm glow from the rising sun,
Behind clouds, the color of smoke.

In the end, my eyes focused,
On a spider crawling about her web,
Intricate designer, naked to most.

Her long legs seemingly stretched across,
Compressed air, as I questioned myself, almost,
But, chose to alter my angle, instead.

Life reassured me, artistry brought into focus,
Minutes passed, comfort took hold,
As I found you there, too.

How do I know?
Alone, I briefly turned and whispered in awe,
“You’re seeing this, aren’t you?”

Hood replaced reluctantly, closed tight
Gloved hands situated
Into warm inviting pockets
I continue amongst what’s frozen

Heart’s Anticipation

Hearts break
Created for more
Than keeping us alive
The powerful organ
Innocently sitting
Beating
Yet, actually
Guarding
Anticipating
Each arrival
Life’s disappointments

Possible dream shattering
Inevitable realizations
Of real human behavior
Infidelity
Dishonesty
Silence
Alive
Breathing
Sending the final punch

Had the heart been waiting
Sensing struggles all along
Disaster coming
Forcing
Protection
Sending out low voices
Always
A mind choosing to ignore

Does the heart forsee
The size of the breaking
Afterwards
Is it even a possibility
It will heal
Provide the ultimate
Forgiveness
Questioning
Why it should
Stay a prisoner
For good

Destiny

Walking beaches
Focusing
Holding on
Where water
Meets sky
Horizon
Do you see me
Becoming one
Love’s Geminis
Witnessing beauty
Humbly
Chance meeting
A conclusion
For all my searching
Strength
Courage
Clarity
Have you
Love
Emotion
Desires
Have I
Somewhere
Over a rainbow
Shakespeare’s Viola
A Bonnie for his Clyde
Wishing on stars
Walking through waters
Skipping rocks
Looking for his face
Reoccurring waves

Written 2-1-14