Leaning Into Real

maybe writing this out will help me compartmentalize my thoughts
there are so many distractions as of late

The new year came in with swords drawn and a battle ensued
one I’m currently within

I’ve been rude to those around me when it was never my intention

maybe inside a daydream isn’t where I should reside, only making life worse

tangible moments, proof they exist, is where my heart currently lives

Faith begins and ends my day, serving makes sense inside my head
an inability to understand is fine, just accept me for who I am

all praise honor and glory be, yes to the Father,
and then it’s he.

He who is out there, slowly keeping pace
would begin and end my moments, but that’s only what I need.

no desire left to chase, fearful of ending back in a place where questioning motive and truth controls my each and every day.

does peace exist? are relationships worth creating…

me who’s father was gone too much, a mother who left all together
how do I believe this isn’t the pattern,
it’s happened, one after the other.

leaning into the belief, if love is meant to be

easing into a life alone, tending to sheep and children who are all too soon grown, where will I go?

Listening for the answers I know my God has planned, I pray I don’t mess this up
looking down at my empty hands.

knowing each and every piece given to me for care,
is one I’m made for and a joy to prepare.

Tonight

Dark room
Just me and you
No conversation
Silence
A void
No strength
To fill
Find me
Darkness breathes
Heart beating
Senses alive
I feel your heat
Smell the musk
Waiting
Seems like forever
Way past dusk
Nerves shattered
A million ways
Your hand placed
Upon my waist
Pulling
Leaning into you
Sighing
Heartbeat strong
Found me
Cold
Alone
Unrecognizable
I’m sorry
My day defeating
Weakness shown
Afternoon spent
Redefining goals
Come here, Audrey
Your voice soothing
Bring on the calm
Arms reaching
Steadying
Working hands
Welcoming
Eyes close
Submitting
Thankful for this release
Take me where you need to be
Willing

Lost Without You

Spirit flying near me
My muse
What are you asking of me
Courage
Believability
Authenticity
A face I cannot see
Has created
Stunning poetry
Spirit
I sense you
Pushing to leave
Even flee
Tell me
Give me
The words
I need
To make you
Stay
I can beg
Don’t leave me
Effortlessly
Promising
I’ll be good
My need
Nothing
Pitiful
Really
Craving to be near

She Waits With Music

“The Theme you play at the start of a number is the territory,

and what comes after, which may have very little to do with it,

is the Adventure!” – Ornette Coleman

She Waits With Music

by: Audrey Dawn

Patrons walked by her. ¬†They paused to take a look, but then chose to move on, often times with a glance back, as if ¬†wondering whether she’d be okay. Yes, it was late and she’d been there awhile listening to the light leftover sounds of the imaginative and free style jazz music coming from Basie’s place. A woman isn’t normally out by herself on a street full of dark alleys; short streets filled with dirty puddles which contain the smells rejected by most. She couldn’t allow herself to go inside the bar.

What if she missed him walking by that corner over there or there. Her eyes drifted side to side. She’d decided that the open air, coupled with waiting close by, would allow her to see each visitor who enjoyed this part of town. This time of night. Ambrosia knew she shouldn’t wait outside alone, yet she’d told herself she’d engage in the hopes of finding him. Continue reading