Somewhere Beyond Serene

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if the water could have sung,
I’d have heard it calling me,
drawn to its movement,
slow and consistent, I felt seen.
Instead of the arc of a rainbow in view,
colors swirled around twilight
as if they knew circles were
my favorite, and curves the most fun.
Nature’s beauty  spoke in only whispers,
requiring my heart to listen.
Rumi, INSPIRE – the ancients would plea,
but a woman like me,
lost between hope and regret,
will watch for you as the boats drift. Listening.
Waiting on timing, once again,
knowing somewhere beyond serene, you exist and I’m ready.

Brilliance Dawning

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There are mornings, where if I don’t write what’s waiting, it will continue to sway within me.

Pushing, pulling, and looking for a way to make room. There’s attitude, fear, and control, all of which have caused me to stumble in the past.

The stutter I used, and passed down when I was younger was me – unashamed. Confident in my thoughts and convictions.

I believed wholeheartedly in myself, yet appearing to question my authority to those listening around me. Passed over and rendered entertaining. They didn’t know me very well, did they?

Interesting how I finally feel her again. And she’s amazingly bright and able.

Isn’t it funny?

Bravery appears differently on everyone.

It Was Me

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either way, we’ve all learned
and it’s been a year.
Saffron and Amber reveal their dress,
I sit and wonder how it’s possible, Winter,
how beauty presents as a mess, yet is defined by the eye.
Dirt needs its rest, leave the weeds, even
a fixed tin roof allows for dry, so
let nature grow – haphazardly.
Disrobe the world, let them be,
focused on how to heal.
Honestly? He didn’t really need me.

Worth It?

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a vision to enjoy,
breathe
rustic and pristine.
with an ounce of curiosity
I dream,
what stories are held within-

is this beauty, as she stands,
left for the taking,
or is someone keeping watch?
left to her own devises,
her strength must continue, remain hopeful in winter.
alone amongst the blanket of snow, she screams forlorn,
however you see her and she remains yours.
might she be worth the risk?

Weeding Out

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Imperative for growth to flourish appropriately,

It’s a sinking feeling when the time arrives,

And one we rarely want to admit to, because normalcy is comfortable.

Sometimes change masks itself as unknown, but we know.

One gut-wrenching pull at a time convinces us of its necessity, and the digging continues.

Beauty is stifled by its surroundings, however, she clings to what slowly kills her.

The world is full of what should be if we lean in: find grounding and settle.

Surely the weeding ends,

And the tools go back to the shelf.

Discovery

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I miss the days of lost in cerulean and clouds,
even though searching for you came with a cost,
my mind ardently invented you as I lie on the ground.

moments screamed past me then, and there’s no getting them back,
yet I feel fulfilled when memories rush in,
blessed, some would say to forget what I lacked.

a path was forged, one I so desperately needed,
the voice inside me tasted like screaming –
to most it wouldn’t make sense but free, my friend, isn’t always freedom.

Sprucing Up The Place

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deteriorating wall
color combinations weak
periscope, maybe

***

A few housecleaning details for y’all today. I am aware it is Friday, and nobody likes cleaning on the edge of a weekend, but I needed to say thanks for all the recent follows. AND thank you for not giving up on my poetry.

The giggles are returning which is always a good sign. I’ve been writing a lot, but mostly I’ve been working. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. This past year has been incredibly busy with churches closed for many.

When the inevitable occurred it made my day job 100% harder.

I have become quite familiar with bells, whistles, bright lights, more technology, post offices, zoom, louder microphones and standing on my head. I’ve never been accused of having a case of “the look at me’s” so you can imagine what having to do so did for my soul.

My creativity took a beating as did all my relationships.

I’ll be sprucing up the place and working on updating my pages, as I focus on getting things ready for an announcement many have waited years to hear.

Find beauty in your weekend my loves,

Aud

Shelter

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might I come for awhile,
little bitty dreams
of yesterday
have returned.
crisp air has forged
a wool blanket, yet
within you I’d feel protected.
air has freedom I’m unsure
of, terrifying ideas
too many possibles,
too many versions of me
compete.
your walls,
could bring me peace,
looking up …
the distance makes
me dizzy.

Life Ever After

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Spent the day in the city with my daughter.

We parked downtown, walked for what felt like miles, the early hustle smelled delightful.

Saw colors in every direction.

We laughed, we sampled stores out of our comfort zone, drinks, food, books, music and art, as well. Our eyes sparkled in intrest.

We danced through walkways, giggled past what we knew we’d never understand, and held hands.

We reintroduced ourselves to chopsticks via YouTube and introduced ourselves to the sushi bar & spicy tuna.

We mused how shy girls could ever possibly find their voice, and teared up when the Columbian bracelets we admired were made for those who needed to learn how to communicate.

We wear matching aquamarine stone bracelets now, and thanked fate for bringing our conversation, in the car ride over, full circle.

We painted and sang without a care in the world. Allowing who we are a place of comfort – us, showing our little girl.

Busy streets we drove on and found parking within offered an exciting challenge,

But something changed inside of me as my daughter confessed,

“Momma, look at all we did just us – no men.

No brother, no daddy, …”

At 15 she felt empowered and ready for another adventure to begin.

Of course, my daughter, you are right. I’ve taught you how to live.

I mused quietly to myself, yes, yet again…

Just wait.

One day you’ll feel your hand within his,

or its warmth guiding you at the small of your back,

you’ll stand a bit taller with his palm holding your elbow, as you move along,

his stature in true protection will leave you in awe,

and his voice in your ear, at the end of the night, the one making up a lullaby song,

will be the reason doing life alone feels so wrong.

All The Feels Today

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Loving this song’s message on EVERY level this morning.

Oh how I miss this space. ♡

“Mommying” in every direction as of late. Working on being intentional.

Still have this fantasy of a white or dark knight who musters up and says, “I’m picking up this side of the box. Let’s roll.”

I see so much potential in the best of places, yet I’m drawn to Him. I pray its known.

Until then I do what needs done. Normal. Everyday. Girl.

Yours.