Preparing Me

Hey, Sweetie
Dad’s reassuring greet
I’ve just always expected

Weather’s calm
Dad’s predictability
Bring snacks for the backseat

Asking where to, and then
Do you know where we are
Just look for the sun

Stay calm
Know this will also pass
He has prepared me

Happy Birthday, Aud

Spending the morning with my father while he has chemo. Thrilled to share this day with him.


Sharing an old post of mine, which came to mind this morning as I wait, yeah it’s about a couple’s anniversary but passes for a nice birthday surprise, as well. Who doesn’t like cake?

Thank you for the love and prayers. Miss y’all. ♡

Happy Birthday Dad

I felt like talking…

I just talked to my Dad via cell phone tonight. Today is his 65th birthday! He’s at home making himself some sweet potatoes, while his blue jeans swish in the washing machine. Yep. Seriously…

He worked today. Trying to stay busy, Dad was between town and the feedlot throughout the day running errands, as his weakened muscles still keep him from doing a lot of the physical work required to raise cattle. His buddy Dale, who retired a few years ago, came out and rode by cattle pens with Dad for old times sake.

They drove to town and had lunch together, which must have been fun. Listening to Dad retell their experience proved that a good time was had by both, I think. A great salad bar and crappy pizza, he recalled. Ha. We like the salad bar, he insisted.

I wish I could give Dale a hug for keeping Dad company today. Two old cowboys content with each other’s silence is all I can ask for really.

Sounds like Dad had a fine birthday. He was chipper on the phone and admitted to answering his Facebook messages, as they came in, which is awesome. I’m thankful for Facebook. It keeps him closer to friends and family.

To be honest, I’m more disappointed in how his day turned out than he is. He should be enjoying our company tonight. His loved ones singing Happy Birthday over a big chocolate cake would have been ideal. We should be watching him blow out 65 candles.

In reality, he deserves kisses from his daughters, a beer from his son and gifts from his grandchildren. And then maybe, after we’d all left, he’d get to have sex, in an effort to finish off the day perfectly. I mean, seems fair, I think.

I’m bummed that his birthday didn’t look like a birthday. However, he seems fine and quite happy. I think he’s just used to every day looking about the same.

I can recall years ago when a birthday meant we got to choose what was for supper, while deciding who in the family got to bake our birthday cake just as we’d pictured it. Tonight, Dad said he wouldn’t have minded my lasagna and a piece of chocolate cake.

It’s my issue when I consider Dad’s day a less than an ideal birthday, I know.

Dad’s 65 today, and next week he receives his last two rounds of chemo. My prayer is that his doctors find him in perfect health, free of Leukemia. I don’t want to talk to him about living with cancer anymore.

I want our conversation to be about how proud I am of his decision to beat cancer. I need to hug him and thank him for fighting the disease with all the strength he had.

I took this photo while Dad was backing his boat into the lake this summer. I should’ve been in the boat already, but I wanted a picture first.

Happy Birthday, Daddy ♡


♡Best Dad in the world
Happy Birthday, Fisherman
Wish our summer back ♡

Can You Pass The Tissues? I Have Issues…


Dear Daughter,

I want to begin with an I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I wish I could take the whole day back.

I tried to remind God, while pregnant with you, that it wouldn’t be a good idea to give me a little girl. He disagreed and you came into the world with my red hair, freckles and chubby cheeks. I didn’t know how to be a girl myself, how was I going to teach you to be a better girl? I stressed and worried for months about raising a daughter. I feared all the girly things I’d need to explain one day. More importantly, I feared having the right answers when you came to me with questions.

I’ve tried, I have, honestly.

I knew the day was coming… I just didn’t think it through. I’m sorry. Continue reading