Three pushing inside of me:
What I want to do – I cannot do
What I want to write – I cannot write
What I want to say – I cannot say
What I want to believe – I fight to believe
Three comfortable inside of me:
What I can do is dream – I shall dream
What I can do is think – I shall think
What I can do is feel – I shall feel
Raindrops on roses
A sight I seek
Your teardrops
To drink
I’ve loved you forever
My heart has always known
A constant search
From left to right
Feeling foolish
Scared of the unknown
Not prepared
For shiny lights
Predestined
It seems
From the beginning
Is what I mean
Neither knowing
Until recently
Strength
Power
Overtaking
When love rules
I’m left
Succumbing
Show me love
Faithfulness true
Possessing powerful
Thoughts of you
Do you question
My feelings
Yes, of course
I love you
I feel you leaving
Bags are packed
Tickets purchased
Quietly
I know myself
She isn’t worth your time
Forget her rhymes
Forget her name
Forget the urges
Search your purpose
Enjoy the ride
Let yourself go
You make me sick
But that you already know
“Do you want to hear a joke?”
“No, not really.”
“Come on, you like my humor. This is a great joke, Audrey.”
“I’m afraid I won’t know when to laugh.”
“Yes, you will! Your timing is perfect.”
“But, life’s been so serious lately.”
“Woman, let me tell you my joke! You’ll give me that boisterous laugh I crave.”
“I’m not sure I would…how do you know?”
“You tend to make most speaks a joke. That’s how I’ll know.”
“Well not anymore I won’t! ”
“Of course you will, because it’s part of who you are, my dear. The bonus being that you’ll see past it now, as well.”
“Do you really think so, babe?”
“I do!”
“Okay, well press forward then would you.”
“You want me to tell my joke now? Giving me permission? How quickly you become her…”
“*smirk* Yes, of course, my love.”
“I’m going to ignore that…Why did the chicken cross the road, Audrey?”
“Hmmm, because he saw something sparkly. DUH!”
“NO! Sparkly?! What kind of reason is that to cross a road?”
“Well, isn’t it normal to be attracted to something sparkly?”
“Maybe, but are chickens drawn there?”
“I think they must be…”
“You’ve ruined my joke!”
“I’m sorry. I think you think I’m a chicken…tell me. Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“I’m not sure I want to tell you now…”
“Please, my love, just tell me.”
“Okay, but nothing I tell you will seem funny after all of that ridiculousness! He crossed the road, well, to get to the other side.”
*giggles*
“You laughed?!”
“Haha. Yes!”
“How? Why?”
“It is just as I said. The chicken did see something sparkly, which helped him to the other side.”
“Okay, what could that have possibly been?”
“Come over here and let me thank you for making me laugh.”
“I’m not sure I want to…I’m still sorting out why a chicken is drawn to sparkly objects and what it could have been.”
“Now you’re sparkly! Kiss me.”
Like a clam
Tight
Never bold
Never brave
Holding on
Fantastically
A gem quietly sits
Feelings
All mine
I own them
Nobody’s witness
Proven over and over again
Never asking or pushing
She’s a funny girl
Afraid of the bull
Which lives within
Like a clam
Craving the push and pull
Powerful waters
Forcing the gem to breathe
In murky waters
Or
Fresh
Clean
Air
Finally
Don’t be afraid
Your soul created
For never endings
Past mistakes
Internally fighting
You mustn’t allow
Dark dreaming
Regret powerful
Changes nothing
Forgiveness comes
With eyes wide open
Reminding
Ageless Story
Never gets old
Rest in peace
I’m offering
Rejoice
Peaceful dreams
Hear my call for you
Powerful sequences
Devour my senses
Take care in what you do
Rob me of my defenses
You know I need you
Wake me at conclusion
I love you
Possibilities endless
Like the universe wide
Ocean waves
Long and lazy days
Opportunities knock
Take them in stride
Waiting for your time
Pen to paper, it calls me home
Just look, we’ve all grown
A past we share
Every hope and despair
Family curator
Deemed worthy
Fighting alone
Penning our story
Walking through our hollows
Weakness not allowed
This pain, my siblings
I cannot imagine sharing
Best we leave it
Yet, clarity is needed
My past
Taught me how to feel
Dependence
Wiped me clean
Trust nobody
Speak of only pleasantries
Happiness always favored
Darkness nonexistent
Always available
Soft shouldered girl
A quiet ear bending
My dear,
Let them tell you anything
Don’t fight
Never a cross word
Truth thought absurd
Look beautiful
Shan’t let them see me cry
Oh the lies, lies, lies
My feelings meant for nobody
Stay controlled
Find my fate
Alone
Frustration
Infuses
These feisty veins
You
Whatever
Your identity
Prowling
Lurking
Trying to scare
You don’t know
I’ve conquered
More
Even less
Nasty
Unknown
Faceless
Darkness
Has no place
On this blog
Determination
Resides
Gaurding
My soul
My writing
My world
Don’t think
You can attack
I fight back
Enjoy
Feel
Create
Through me
However
Absolutely
Respect me
Hey
Hey
***
How are you?
Great. How are you?
Great.
Okay
***
You there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
How was your day?
Good. Yours?
Good
***
You there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
Wanna talk?
Yeah.
Good
***
You there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
Anything special you want to talk about?
No, you choose.
Okay
***
You still there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
It’s so quiet.
Yeah, it’s nice being here with you.
Okay
***
You still there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
I hate your phone.
Why?
You’re holding it.
You make me laugh.
***
You still there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
When did I agree to take on all this responsibility
Are long gone the days of careless attempts at skinny dips at the lake
Music cranked so loud I feel my body shake
I see that part of me now, only a few times a week
When I’m sitting in the car waiting for children to over take
I look into the rearview mirror and see Aud The Bod staring back at me
Long red curls, loads of dimples too, chasing boys, but only a few
After twenty years what still rings true
I’m a storymaker, romantic and dreamer, just like you
Today
Rain
Beating
Warm window panes
Thank you
For washing away
Yesterdays misery
Cleaning up life’s mess
The power you possess
Quenching
All that is green
Life’s beauty
Creating pastels
Finding a way
Allowing
Crimson colors
To spread
Oh what you do
For the living
What it means
To me
I saw you standing there
Knocking
Let me in
Address Eden
Come sit beside me
Blackened heart of yesterday’s evils
Much to learn from hearts that beat
Red in color pulsing deep
Rest in comfort
In all that is green
Let me tell you
About a boy
Heaven’s Majesty
My eyes see
Black is curable
Love is all you need
There is an easier road to travel
I believe because I’ve lived
Done it
Easy road is seemingly perfect
No flaws
A pleasing path full of yes’ and pretties
Yellow brick roads void of nopes and insecurities
Yet remember
What they hide
You simply aren’t interested in seeing
Tough roads
A bit lonelier
Turning about pondering life’s meaning
I agree
You’ll second guess everything
From the color of your shoes
To truth and identity
Often questioning
In belief
Happy ever after endings
This route will make us stronger
Seeking advisory
Along the way
Roads given
Windows of opportunity
Take them they are yours
Listen to His words
Allow the guidance from above
He loves you
He said so that day on the cross Believe Him
Poof goes doubt
In comes grace
World providing a different view Completely different face
It works for many
Will for you
If you need me
I’ll walk beside you
Passenger train take me with you
The steep mountains won’t hinder
Raised with a will to prevail
Witnessing the hills you’ll race
Up then down
Clear with abundance
Ease
Eyes wide open
Longing for uncharted territory
Isn’t that all part of the thrill
Passenger train I hear the noise
Louder and louder it arrives
Your sounds fill my mind
Your power
Stirs my soul
Leaving me
Reminded
Grasping at solid foundations
Powerful work
Exhausting
Distance needed to travel
Shan’t be my concern
Fearing a loss pushes my imperfections
The beginning and end start with breath
Passenger train keep seeking
Allow me one more ride
Someday, I hope I find clarity in my poetry writing. Lately, I don’t feel I have any control. For now, I will continue to write this unrecognizable voice. I’ll send the words out here for you to view. Create a picture. It’s all I can do. It’s all I have been doing. It’s all that is being allowed through to paper. All I see are words floating. I try to catch them. Create.
Finally home
Golden door knob twists
A slight push by the hip
The door: it opens
The sound of vacuumed air released
Her hand goes directly to the lamp
One she’s never seen
How comfortably she pulls the string
Her keys take to the table
Similarities liken to a movie scene
Pinky finger pulls at the straps
Slipping off her heels
Ahh , she savors the feeling
Wiggly toes go pitter pat
Down a dim hallway
Cherish the puzzlement
Where could he be
Light music playing
Feast smells spicy
Carefully she lets her hair free
Wondering what will he think of me
She makes the final turn
Stopping to witness
She continues unnoticed
Standing in awe
A quiet thunder heard
Towards him she goes
Left with no choice
It’s always been him
The universe sighs in relief
Ahh, we’re finally happy
Shaking arms
Distrustful eyes
The confidence of a Tigress wild
Anticipation has ceased
Standing behind him
Body heat
Stop your hands – just breathe
Exhale
This is what it feels like to be free
Mouth the words – thank you
The least you can do
See that vein in his neck
Pulses red blood through, for you
Imagine what he’s been feeling
Dreaming of you
Take ownership of his heart
Accept him for who he is
Make no promises
He may break your heart, too
Dive in, remember he’s worth it
Feel your heartbeat
Rest assured, his beats like thunder, too
Notice his hesitation
He feels you near
Make your move, never fear
Hands slide from behind to the front
Feel that
The beat of his love; pure devotion
Lean into him; ear to his back
Smell his scent – musk
Relax, a picture of true love
Hey, Baby
Hey, You
I didn’t think you’d ever get here.
I’ve been searching everywhere.
Was it the traffic?
No, just a lot of wrong turns, then there was spinning.
You will be pleased, no more wrong turns.
No wrong turns? I cannot imagine.
I’m here for you.
As I shall be, for you.
Let me lead…
I’ve never been allowed.
A man is all I know how to be.
A lady, then, I will become for thee.
Feel his pull as turns to face you
Search his eyes for the first time
Believe it’s him
Accept his power
Join forces
Allow yourself
Happiness
(I hope this story suits you, Sisters. It was the only story that was allowed out. A lot swarming inside this brain. In other news, my book is coming along well. I hope this story brought you some emotion. Not as much of a tragedy after all. That is an improvement, I’d say. I will keep trying to write a perfect love story. One loaded with tragedy. Our story.)
I’m aware of you
A heart I hear beating
Loud and true
Da dum
Da dum
Da dum
Working its way through
I’ve waited for the words to appear
Emotions floating
I reach up to tame them
Placing all in their rightful places
I hear your drum
I sense your need
Da dum
Da dum
Da dum
I have urges too
To be the best
All for you
A Muse
Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister 