Scared

Three pushing inside of me:
What I want to do – I cannot do
What I want to write – I cannot write
What I want to say – I cannot say

What I want to believe – I fight to believe

Three comfortable inside of me:
What I can do is dream – I shall dream
What I can do is think – I shall think
What I can do is feel – I shall feel

Him

Raindrops on roses
A sight I seek
Your teardrops
To drink
I’ve loved you forever
My heart has always known
A constant search
From left to right
Feeling foolish
Scared of the unknown
Not prepared
For shiny lights
Predestined
It seems
From the beginning
Is what I mean
Neither knowing
Until recently
Strength
Power
Overtaking
When love rules
I’m left
Succumbing
Show me love
Faithfulness true
Possessing powerful
Thoughts of you
Do you question
My feelings
Yes, of course
I love you

A Sparkly Joke

“Do you want to hear a joke?”
“No, not really.”
“Come on, you like my humor. This is a great joke, Audrey.”
“I’m afraid I won’t know when to laugh.”
“Yes, you will! Your timing is perfect.”
“But, life’s been so serious lately.”
“Woman, let me tell you my joke! You’ll give me that boisterous laugh I crave.”
“I’m not sure I would…how do you know?”
“You tend to make most speaks a joke. That’s how I’ll know.”
“Well not anymore I won’t! ”
“Of course you will, because it’s part of who you are, my dear. The bonus being that you’ll see past it now, as well.”
“Do you really think so, babe?”
“I do!”
“Okay, well press forward then would you.”
“You want me to tell my joke now? Giving me permission?  How quickly you become her…”
“*smirk* Yes, of course, my love.”
“I’m going to ignore that…Why did the chicken cross the road, Audrey?”
“Hmmm, because he saw something sparkly. DUH!”
“NO! Sparkly?! What kind of reason is that to cross a road?”
“Well, isn’t it normal to be attracted to something sparkly?”
“Maybe, but are chickens drawn there?”
“I think they must be…”
“You’ve ruined my joke!”
“I’m sorry. I think you think I’m a chicken…tell me. Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“I’m not sure I want to tell you now…”
“Please, my love, just tell me.”
“Okay, but nothing I tell you will seem funny after all of that ridiculousness! He crossed the road, well, to get to the other side.”
*giggles*
“You laughed?!”
“Haha. Yes!”
“How? Why?”
“It is just as I said. The chicken did see something sparkly, which helped him to the other side.”
“Okay, what could that have possibly been?”
“Come over here and let me thank you for making me laugh.”
“I’m not sure I want to…I’m still sorting out why a chicken is drawn to sparkly objects and what it could have been.”
“Now you’re sparkly! Kiss me.”

Clam

Like a clam
Tight
Never bold
Never brave
Holding on
Fantastically
A gem quietly sits
Feelings
All mine
I own them
Nobody’s witness
Proven over and over again
Never asking or pushing
She’s a funny girl
Afraid of the bull
Which lives within
Like a clam
Craving the push and pull
Powerful waters
Forcing the gem to breathe
In murky waters
Or
Fresh
Clean
Air
Finally

Fate

Within the night she runs far away
Upon the mountain top she climbs
She cries
You must tell me why
Shouting at the stars
Wishing upon a different fate
Mistakes made
Broken no longer clean
Endure
Falling down in the rocky ground
She welcomes even more pain
To take it for you, you and you
Mistakes
Never offer understanding
Instantly
Misery enjoys company
Leave quickly
She’s coming

She’s Tight

My past
Taught me how to feel
Dependence
Wiped me clean
Trust nobody
Speak of only pleasantries
Happiness always favored
Darkness nonexistent
Always available
Soft shouldered girl
A quiet ear bending
My dear,
Let them tell you anything
Don’t fight
Never a cross word
Truth thought absurd
Look beautiful
Shan’t let them see me cry
Oh the lies, lies, lies
My feelings meant for nobody
Stay controlled
Find my fate
Alone

Yuck

Frustration
Infuses
These feisty veins
You
Whatever
Your identity
Prowling
Lurking
Trying to scare
You don’t know
I’ve conquered
More
Even less
Nasty
Unknown
Faceless
Darkness
Has no place
On this blog
Determination
Resides
Gaurding
My soul
My writing
My world
Don’t think
You can attack
I fight back
Enjoy
Feel
Create
Through me
However
Absolutely
Respect me

A Conversation

Hey
Hey
***
How are you?
Great. How are you?
Great.
Okay
***
You there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
How was your day?
Good. Yours?
Good
***
You there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
Wanna talk?
Yeah.
Good
***
You there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
Anything special you want to talk about?
No, you choose.
Okay
***
You still there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
It’s so quiet.
Yeah, it’s nice being here with you.
Okay
***
You still there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay
***
I hate your phone.
Why?
You’re holding it.
You make me laugh.
***
You still there?
Yeah, I’m here.
Okay

The Past

When did I agree to take on all this responsibility

Are long gone the days of careless attempts at skinny dips at the lake

Music cranked so loud I feel my body shake

I see that part of me now, only a few times a week

When I’m sitting in the car waiting for children to over take

I look into the rearview mirror and see Aud The Bod staring back at me

Long red curls, loads of dimples too, chasing boys, but only a few

After twenty years what still rings true

I’m a storymaker, romantic and dreamer, just like you

Rain

Today
Rain
Beating
Warm window panes
Thank you
For washing away
Yesterdays misery
Cleaning up life’s mess
The power you possess
Quenching
All that is green
Life’s beauty
Creating pastels
Finding a way
Allowing
Crimson colors
To spread
Oh what you do
For the living
What it means
To me

Curable

I saw you standing there
Knocking
Let me in
Address Eden
Come sit beside me
Blackened heart of yesterday’s evils
Much to learn from hearts that beat
Red in color pulsing deep
Rest in comfort
In all that is green
Let me tell you
About a boy
Heaven’s Majesty
My eyes see
Black is curable
Love is all you need

Roads

There is an easier road to travel
I believe because I’ve lived
Done it
Easy road is seemingly perfect
No flaws
A pleasing path full of yes’ and pretties
Yellow brick roads void of nopes and insecurities
Yet remember
What they hide
You simply aren’t interested in seeing

Tough roads
A bit lonelier
Turning about pondering life’s meaning
I agree
You’ll second guess everything
From the color of your shoes
To truth and identity
Often questioning
In belief
Happy ever after endings
This route will make us stronger
Seeking advisory

Along the way
Roads given
Windows of opportunity
Take them they are yours
Listen to His words
Allow the guidance from above
He loves you
He said so that day on the cross Believe Him
Poof goes doubt
In comes grace
World providing a different view Completely different face
It works for many
Will for you
If you need me
I’ll walk beside you

Passenger Train

Passenger train take me with you
The steep mountains won’t hinder
Raised with a will to prevail
Witnessing the hills you’ll race
Up then down
Clear with abundance
Ease
Eyes wide open
Longing for uncharted territory
Isn’t that all part of the thrill
Passenger train I hear the noise
Louder and louder it arrives
Your sounds fill my mind
Your power
Stirs my soul
Leaving me
Reminded
Grasping at solid foundations
Powerful work
Exhausting
Distance needed to travel
Shan’t be my concern
Fearing a loss pushes my imperfections
The beginning and end start with breath
Passenger train keep seeking
Allow me one more ride