Luminescence

delights in lemon; yellows and gold
no brawny
epitome of prophecy, in sunshine.
daylight
randomness of her existence
mostly kept
yet everyone’s caught sight

***

What I Would Have Shown You

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What I Would Have Shown You

inspiration doesn’t require
explaination,
when sat upon our souls
we transform. Recognized.

guidance welcome
acceptance voluntary

but, we strive to belong
somewhere or to someone
and in wanting we lose foundation. Consumed.

inspiration lost
desperation born

recognizing ourselves
and our vision
becomes impossible,
leaving the impetus expired.

***

An update and explaination for my words in this What I Would Have Shown You series can be found here: https://oldestdaughterredheadedsister.com/2019/08/10/an-update-new-series/

I hope you enjoy my journey. Your grace and patience while I sat growing has overwhelmed me.

Thank you for reading.

Apology

I
I am
I’m just
I’m just sorry
I’m just so sorry
I’m just so
I’m just
I am
I

***
I’m sorry my words have been so dim as of late – for a long time now really. They’re lacking the beauty and happiness I swore I’d share when this site begin six years ago. There was sadness then and I wanted joy to survive the pain I felt, so I came here to teach myself to recieve happiness.

I’m going to do my best to share my light and the acceptance of myself again – the joy I know exists inside my heart. There is a little girl inside of me hurting something terrible. I owe it to her to show her beauty again, so I must try.

Not sure if it’ll be short stories as it was in the beginning (she likes those) or poems & photography, which aren’t perfect or winning any awards, but reflects what I see and feel. Bringing me much closer to love.

100 thank yous to those who still linger in my words. You are appreciated.

Hope to see you around,
Aud

Lacking The Sight of Me

I hear regret in his voice
the mistake I was for him,

my soul aches in monochrome,
but yellow lives in bursts like Spring
and a Pink Ladies leafless show
I’ve seen purple, as if born from the eyes of kings,
and verdant in twilight’s glow.

the blues of Poseidon’s seas
and red from a rose;
white clouds in pristine,
and brown where life grows.
who wouldn’t want a girl like me

***

Been thinking a lot the last few minutes on how we teach toddlers the correct way to be social humans. The act of placing them in time out until they understand the lesson. Requesting they stay there until they’ve been told they’re allowed to rejoin the group.

We do the same sort of training on puppies, asking them to sit and stay until the command is given to release and enjoy.

Over a year ago I fell in love again. I fell hard for him. A future with someone had all the components needed to be successful, I truly believed. My mind is a beautiful place to be when love is the theme.

The qualities I look for/drawn to are simple.

Continue reading

I’m In Love

I’m in love with being in love.
There’s nothing I have visioned for myself that excites me more.

I hear laughter
Eye squints as their sparkle escapes
I feel that upon my face.

Silly grins
Dimples no longer hidden within
The true marking of contentment
And its offer of grace.

The best of friends welcoming
Challenges – happy endings -frustrations.
Holding hands, connecting spirits
Building a firm foundation.

Take me there, widen the span of
Love’s true existence
Birth the eve of beginnings
And wrap me in the arms of the one
Who needs me.

Because of You

My desire to write poetry,
has been affected by your presence,
the same fevered passion exists
yet, its been reduced to your name
maybe even a letter in the end
my muse, this pandora’s box, the new beginning and my end is with you.

So come the rushing waters of what might one day be,
bring on the swirls of passionate winds,
stretch the legs of workers in the trenches of this world,
my love breathes in these,
i am because of you.

Dominion

i imagine the comfort
like warmth snuggled in
under layers of protection
surrenderer me with victorious him

daylight taken with pleasure
my body with so much to give
leaves the master of my affection
a playground he accepts as his

a muse so confident
doubt unable to live –
stifled and erased, becomes
a union of dominion and submissive

Too much?

Listening to this on repeat today. And then my daily reading has me brought to tears. (As does much of what I’m reading today. A message is supposed to get to me, I think.

It has me focused on the last three words.

What woman doesn’t want to hear this from the man she’s devoted to? I cling to the idea love like this exists. I’m a hopeless romantic and a sucker for true devotion.

Pitiful Girl.

Adding the entire reading, as it might be helpful to another.