Somewhere Beyond Serene

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if the water could have sung,
I’d have heard it calling me,
drawn to its movement,
slow and consistent, I felt seen.
Instead of the arc of a rainbow in view,
colors swirled around twilight
as if they knew circles were
my favorite, and curves the most fun.
Nature’s beauty  spoke in only whispers,
requiring my heart to listen.
Rumi, INSPIRE – the ancients would plea,
but a woman like me,
lost between hope and regret,
will watch for you as the boats drift. Listening.
Waiting on timing, once again,
knowing somewhere beyond serene, you exist and I’m ready.

Breathe

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“Grass looks good.”
even when the state of the other side
of the yard is on his mind,
his kindness shines through.
“Maple trees aren’t worth the work.”
and another hundred helicopters
fall down, as the wind shifts,
he ignores that, too.
Focused on the positives, as another day
slowly drifts away,
I listen to the birds calling each other
back to the nest.
“Don’t forget to fill their feeder.”
is whispered, and I smile.
Chair feels comfortable for now,
three sit quietly vacant,
as the neighbors drive by.
Settled, the evening breeze soothes me,
I hear, “Good enough,”
and before I’m ready
dogs bark a good evening to one another.
a subtle goodbye felt within,
auburn hair brushes my cheek,
like vapor, his voice will leave,
as today sets behind the trees.

In Strides

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“We had the strength to raise them, we will have the strength to let them go …”    

– The Waltons

A friend sent me that quote a few days ago. Soo, true.

I’m sat here, finally, after a busy day. I just read great news from both kids (6 hours after the fact), if I could pat myself on the back I probably would, but I know single moms rarely accomplish big things without help from many.  Life is a crazy ride, and I’m so grateful for it. I’ve settled in to empty nesting finally, yet I wish I was with both of them celebrating their accomplishments.

Anyway, just one more quick story from today. Been a heck of a day. ♡

Love you, Aud.

I helped care for a man today who had recently gone to heaven. It was my privilege to do so, even if some would say it’s just my job.

He was the epitome of a real Nebraskan. A Nebraska Gentleman, he served his country, he raised his family, his wife had been cherished, he cared for his farm and community, all the while serving his church.

He taught grown men how to farm in the 1950s, after Korea, and did very well farming his own land. When many folks were selling in the 1980s, he was just hitting his stride. He had a helluva stride, too. I looked forward to seeing his face on Sunday mornings. He would’ve been just my type. Well dressed, and smelled good too, even at over 90, you could see him driving his vehicle to play cards with the boys, or walking to church on a beautiful Spring morning. He was humble, soft spoken, yet incredibly certain, he paid attention to detail and always asked about my children. The true enjoyment on his face over their accomplishments created the best feeling inside of me. He truly cared. I’ll miss him. His presence brought normalcy to my week. I live with regret. I didn’t tell him how impressed I was by his just being HIM.

It was an honor to serve his family today. 95 years – well done, good and faithful servant.

Be well, friends. ♡

Brilliance Dawning

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There are mornings, where if I don’t write what’s waiting, it will continue to sway within me.

Pushing, pulling, and looking for a way to make room. There’s attitude, fear, and control, all of which have caused me to stumble in the past.

The stutter I used, and passed down when I was younger was me – unashamed. Confident in my thoughts and convictions.

I believed wholeheartedly in myself, yet appearing to question my authority to those listening around me. Passed over and rendered entertaining. They didn’t know me very well, did they?

Interesting how I finally feel her again. And she’s amazingly bright and able.

Isn’t it funny?

Bravery appears differently on everyone.

I’m Her. She’s Me.

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When I close my eyes,
a smile appears on my lips
I watch visions of a woman thriving, and I’m her. She’s me, and it’s soothing.
She’s scurrying from one task to the next,
I giggle because ten years ago, she’d never –
Clean corrosion off a battery,
while bread rises and raking leaves
in-between.

Sunday morning hair and makeup still sits where it was placed, dress hung back up and worship was great, closed up the church, now a warm sweatshirt hugs my skin,
boots on,
and my wranglers secured – I remember when…

Weatherproof the outdoor water spouts, and add additive to the leaf blower while squealing over spiders and a baby possum getting too close.
Where does time go?

Windows open allow the air to clean, the house has been awake for hours, the joys of November’s sixty degrees.

Bills are paid , money left over – room to breathe – who do I bless or what’s the need?

I hear a Blue jay trying to prove a point in the tree to the south. Memories are sweet, and I pray you’re proud.

Yet, the mower sits and I think of him – countless ways he offered to help. Seasons of growth and pain. Funny how life gives and takes away.

Life seems simpler now, even on days when struggle hits.
I keep praying God reveals what’s next, as I putter along, enjoying every breath.

Summer Fruits

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Early summer grounds keeping…
We’ll bale hay another day,
there’s fish biting, and the sky’s blue,
I hear a voice inside me say.
Grass is still short over here, let’s sit and tell each other stories.
A cardinal calls from over yonder
seems simple, but they bring me to you.
Verdant pops over azure brilliantly as I lay down to stretch my back.
Wind will catch a branch, rhythmic in its timing, and life’s hectic pace slows, my breath less demanding.
Nourishment calms a craving, yet this fruit is barely listening.
And nothing, no, nothing is ever just perfect.
Who would want to exist that way…

Just The Beginning

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Journey Continues
A silly bit of playing
Like Mother Like Son

The End.
– Learning –  

a collection of photos and poems.
***

George Washington said it at the start:

“I was summoned by my Country, whose voice I can never hear but with veneration and love.”

Roosevelt reminded us that power always brought along responsibility.

So many important voices resonate as we leave D.C.

With change inevitable, “Who will lead?”

Yet, a wise man once told me, “Mom, I have goals. I put away the dreams.”

Non-negotiable

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The day had finally arrived it was Mom’s pick.

The dreaded Bible Museum, “… this is my no discussion item.”

“You understand it costs $30, right?”

“Yep, I do, and I’ll gladly buy the tickets. It’s my turn today.”

“Mom, there are so many places to visit and they cost you nothing. I know why you want to go, but this is an expensive trip as is…”

“I can’t come all this way and not go, plus I’ve already lost the cathedral visit because of their schedule.”

“You lead the way.”

“I need to manage my time right so I don’t miss the next showing of A Walk Through Creation. The lady said start on the third floor.”

A few moments later.

“Mom, come look. Mom, do you see this? Mom, this is soo old. Mom, I could stay just in this room for an hour. Mom, I need a picture of that. Mom, these artifacts are priceless.”

“Now you understand why I cried when I saw the Gutenberg Bible yesterday, sweet child of mine.”

” If you’re up to waiting I think we should do the Walk Through the Old Testament, they line up over there.”

“I’d really love to, yes.”

“Wow, this is bright.”
“Yes, son, and then there was light.”


“Their depiction of the rainbow is beautiful…”
“God’s promise.”

Many, many, many moments later.

“Mom, I’m didn’t expect to learn so much. You do realize where all that came from?  I’d do this again, for sure. This is a top D.C. spot for me.”

“Its kinda like I knew all along. You are my son…”

– Learning –  

a collection of photos and poems.

***As I begin sharing the last few poems of the D.C. collection, I’d like to say thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts.

-Aud

Dreaming

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In the beginning there is excitement,
Passion for the idea of new,
Dreams run wild, and possibilities fierce with endlessness.
Who could we be, what will we learn
And how will we survive, thoughts rush yet breath is pensive
All the while, feeling lost on a speedway with experienced drivers,
Each thought jockeying for position in the line of importance.


All new, all fresh, all encompassing.

Plans made, vast space for the fast-paced.
Then reality strikes, the work begins, yet the fruits of labor hum, hold tight to all things precious.
The overall simplicity of how life is,
goes unnoticed,
work looked back upon as tactile and real, as callouses are worn, scars heal, and the unknown remains in existence, yet
there’s beauty in the sun rising.
History made minute by minute, choices lead to new places, and growth persevers in the name of passion.
Why wouldn’t you?

– Learning –  

a collection of photos and poems.

Port For Dreams

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A poet, who dreamed of safety,
A place for all. Welcomed,
if it were only this easy

We question with intensity
What brings you here?
A murmur felt throughout society

These too shall pass through
A cry out to the masses
Stepping over her, him, me, you

Who stays, who goes,  somebody move
Leadership I lacking, pitiful
Eventually, we all lose

A portal, a melting pot for dreams
Less different, more in common
Weakening amongst transition,  it seems

Poet to poet we ache similarly
Left to decide, no one left behind
And yet, now,  is America suffering?

– Learning –  

a collection of photos and poems

Structure

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at first, the logistics were tricky,

a desire for distance was universal, 

a commonality existed, 

so they leaned into progression.

structure set by those well informed, and steadfast,

support deemed imperative,

while overwhelmingly consistent,

whispers of beauty were allowed.

a common goal set, the trajectory – forever,

for some.

– Learning –  

a collection of photos and poems.

Reunited

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While on my own, I rediscovered

pieces of who I am.

My heart leapt,

my soul weakened in reverence,

towards a pursuit, I’d maybe forgotten,

or possibly, extinguished

even discarded because I was different.

Small moments,

where,

I proved to be –

a someone. Found,

amongst many.

I saw you, too.

 

– Learning –  

a collection of photos and poems.

Metropolis

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There is a saying on my phone’s lock screen which reads:
Have you seen today’s beauty?
It was put there years ago by a friend. Probably my best friend.
I wondered if I’d see beauty in D.C.
A city full of concrete and noise,
I considered rock concerts from my past,
welcome to the jungle.
I imagined where everyone who accompanied
and passed me down the sidewalk, was going.
I read their faces as best I could. I thought I’d see stress, overload, and even concern. I did.
But I also saw joy, friendship, health, and love amongst the lights and stone.
I must have questioned if I would …
The sky was blue most days, what’s not to celebrate?
People find companionship with one another over similarities,
the obvious return is doing life together.
Accepting what our hearts and bodies need is universal, and so we work to treat them well.
We’re more alike than we are different, I’m sure
someone important came up with the saying.
But we are different, and embracing this is key.

– Learning –

A collection of photos and poems from D.C.