my step is lighter, yet
i want you here,
can’t imagine this feeling will ever go away.
whatever the journey
lessons are learned
being open to growth
is difficult,
but I’ve humbled myself,
ready for today.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
– The End.
nourished solely
on the belief someone
truly knew me
felt like I was loved
treated fairly,
an important piece,
my past cleansed
and the beginning of honest
healing,
a glimpse at serendipitous.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
I have nothing else to give
Basically, just me
I have nothing worth any consequence
Basically, just me
I have nothing new
Basically, just me
I have nothing
Basically, just me
Too basic? Maybe.
Or too much me?
***
What I Would Have Shown You
thankful for each angle
my eyes receive,
my heart accepts
and can no longer grieve,
over what I cannot create
or wish into being,
I must be okay
and continue living.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
Found atop a blanket of motley colors,
A woman born of divine design,
what does she dream of, they wonder.
Fairytales full of splendor,
Fantasies full of surrender,
Suddenly she remembers how to shine.
Caught inside in the textures of our earth,
and the weight of why we’re here,
inspiration returns.
Her eyes see what no one else has to find, she is happy to believe.
Her fingers willingly touch what others presumably mustn’t,
and her heart is open towards the clouds. She is ready to receive.
Isn’t it a wonder!
***
What I Would Have Shown You
And then there was light.
Those are someone else’s words,
but I felt them run through me,
a cleansing.
I watched in awe, as power
consumed nature.
In my time – is all I heard.
Then the storm moved in and surrounded me,
created a blindness towards
my search for understanding,
quite literally!
Washed in clouds,
cold air across my face,
red curls blowing everywhere,
and a giggle began from deep inside of me. Clouds!
Let him decide.
Change was here.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
I recognize how important a view like this could be for those seeking.
Deep breath, reminding me of how little we really are comparably.
How creation is here for a purpose and is depended upon.
And instead of sitting in awe, over its splendor,
I morn.
I caught a glimpse of what my soul really needed, felt my head finally clear, rooted in my deepest beliefs and wanted to stay.
Why would God show me and then pull it away.
Defeated.
Too much still depends on me. I can’t give up.
Breathe the azure
Smell the verdant
Touch the pristine
Let go of this grief.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
Share life with another,
Quietly alone,
Is a hell like no other.
Have a look,
Make a wish.
Find someone who gives –
A flip and then love’em.
With everything you have.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
to share the beauty, I see
with you
continues. come along
we’re nearly there.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
to be the accessory
his light in the world,
steadfast in protecting.
up against her Guardian,
the nature of his being,
requires nourishment,
his existence remains, wee devotee, lionhearted.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
wait with me for awhile
I’m little,
still valuable.
I live amongst grandiose,
stunning and unpredictable,
humans love them for their ability, acknowledge
the beauty they possess.
See me trying, blushing even
as my shape finishes form,
little, but striving,
will I be yours?
***
What I Would Have Shown You
with excitement
my soul a flutter,
silly smirk on my lips
as the climb continues.
show me
take me
allow the fall
everything here is perfect,
even my brokenness
***
What I Would Have Shown You
paint a picture
of genuine happiness
read a novel
on quiet lovely despair
offer the common view
many do not care to see
and show them –
there’s still a chance for me.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
my prayer:
distract me enough
so I pursue your plan for me
Lord, protect him enough
so that he and his heart stay safe.
I need to believe in your will,
I want to believe he’s mine,
as he pulls away.
***
What I Would Have Shown You
nostalgic lusting
barbed good riddance finish
inevitable
***
What I Would Have Shown You
Conquering wasn’t the plan.
as plain as it sounds,
I wanted to belong
be along side,
your missing link
searched for
found
and shown
where I was needed.
Sustainable, desired
an intricate detail,
in view
precious,
in the forever story.
One shouldn’t go
where one isn’t
planned for,
intended
or thought of
***
What I Would Have Shown You
sit with me
in awe
glorious vision
the hand of God
the splendor of twilight
hurry is slowing down before us.
*What I Would Have Shown You
my attraction to hard, born through a lost memory,
existed,
created who I am.
an unusual warmth from the simplest of minerals I’ve grown accustomed to, need
and cannot explain.
I greet them, inspect
place them in my hand
and slowly they enter,
my pocket. Mine. My anchor.
each time I revisit the Rockies
the desire arouses
matures, alters in strength,
becomes habitual.
these rocks, their immensity
I want to claim as my own,
every year unwilling to ask
I leave, unbecoming.
*What I Would Have Shown You
inspiration doesn’t require
explaination,
when sat upon our souls
we transform. Recognized.
guidance welcome
acceptance voluntary
but, we strive to belong
somewhere or to someone
and in wanting we lose foundation. Consumed.
inspiration lost
desperation born
recognizing ourselves
and our vision
becomes impossible,
leaving the impetus expired.
***
An update and explaination for my words in this What I Would Have Shown You series can be found here: https://oldestdaughterredheadedsister.com/2019/08/10/an-update-new-series/
I hope you enjoy my journey. Your grace and patience while I sat growing has overwhelmed me.
Thank you for reading.
