This This

My 50th birthday is here. I’ve a hard time believing it, but I’ve accepted its arrival. There isn’t much I need, rarely anything, but as birthdays do, they often introduce the question, and so I ponder the idea tonight.

Still nothing.

After a week in D.C. and time to breathe, I’ve come to the realization I need nothing, and for this, I am eternally grateful. 

What I want is something entirely different. Those around me can not give me this this I want, so much more goes into it.

*** This This

This this I want isn’t found, it’s given.

This this I want isn’t fair, it’s surprising.

This this I want isn’t impractical, it’s the opposite of.

This this I want isn’t mine, and I’ve gotten used to this…

This this I want isn’t close, but it’s out there somewhere.