Rarely do I rebolg and never have I reblogged my own words, but today as I reflect on what is asked of me in this new life of mine, I saw this again. It made me shudder in disbelief and nod sadly. Why, after three years am I still struggling to believe trust exists. Today, I open my heart to the act of trusting. Maybe someone out there will, too. The post is a bit of a rambling, but that conversation I wrote down there is the presence of love and trust, as I live and breathe.
I’m currently writing through some dark spots in my book, which means a lot of self-reflection pokes at my attention. I am broken, even with my deep faith, and after all these years. Thank you for sitting through a lot of darkness lately, and a bit more to come. I hope you’ll be there when this moment passes on.
So, while seeking deep inside myself, this conversation came to me. My Angel’s conversation with God as it arrived on paper yesterday. I have come to realize that I feel love, but I don’t trust love.
I am a child who grew up too soon due to divorce. I love my parents deeply. I have forgiven them quite easily and years ago. As an adult, I see how hard it is to always make the best decisions. No one is capable of that kind of perfection. Not me. Not my parents. They did…
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