While walking down a trail one early morning in Nebraska, I stumbled upon this mushroom.
I was shocked at first, I won’t lie. Interesting, right? Look at him, y’all! I began giggling like a 13 year old girl. I confess, Mother Nature had me going x-rated during an early Saturday morning hike around the lake.
Yes, this mushroom reminded me of a genital member. However, I thought maybe I could, eventually, write a poem about him. Him being a small mushroom house for a sweet fairy. I see now that this poem will Never. Ever. Happen. Without me laughing, and I take myself far too seriously for that… *wink*
I took the angled curve in the path and it was like an phallic army had set up camp. Look at them all! Can you see them? I’ll have you know that I laughed a lot more like a grown woman this time. Most grown women cringe and know better than to imagine that many…mushrooms.
I, on the other hand, laughed authentically and could imagine nothing else. How strange a mushroom army, wouldn’t you say?
Then I saw this mushroom, my friends. Much more strange looking than the many mushrooms found above, and a bit scarier looking, I think.
Yeah, that’s when it occured to me that these weren’t phallic mushroom cadets crowding my path. This was the slow rising of the creepiest creatures I could imagine! Zombies? Aliens?
Long alien like fingers coming up and out of the ground after the, from the looks of it, long or well endowed male parts, had me worried. Left me wondering what or who they were coming for…
Yes, this is where I stop, because once again I cannot behave.
In the end, I began running fast because I’m a scardy cat…
Do you see what I see? Am I being far too childish about my observations? Would you have laughed with me? This may have been an alien sighting, right?
Audrey,
You have a genuinely interesting blog and i’m happy to have found you.
Thank you for visiting mine, i appreciate that deeply.
My best to you
john
LikeLike
John, firstly, thank you for the visit. Secondly, this post is an embarrassment for you to have read. I was feeling silly and in a weak moment shared my thoughts on those mushrooms. Goodness… Have a great night, Audrey
LikeLike
I’m with you Audrey, I see the winky mushrooms too!
You’re a girl after my own heart, I always like to stop and take pictures of rude-looking objects…. π
LikeLike
Haha!! Good. I love having your company, Heather.
Nature is full of this stuff. Soooo crazy! π
LikeLike
Yes, Aud, it was a field of thingies. Kind of Allman Brothers Band like in its mushroom sense, in addition to its membership card, think. Quite the discovery, in any case. I’m not so much for the zombie thing, though.
LikeLike
Indeed, a field, Chum. Sorta right about that Allman Bros reference. I’m not into zombies either. Far too much of a scardy cat.
LikeLike
I would’ve laughed right along with you! It’s not childish at all, but an appropriate reaction to all those phallic mushrooms. Which are more funny than mushrooms looking like alien fingers (going into the realm of the creepy). Since you giggled over these mushrooms, what have you done when faced with a field of tulips? Talk about a phallic army marching onward…
LikeLike
Thank you for supporting my behavior, Gus. π You don’t want to know what I’ve done in a field of tulips. .. π
LikeLike
I suppose you won’t be posting a poem about mushrooms on a path or a field of tulips, then?
LikeLike
Metaphorically impossible, I think. Ha! It would be a dead give away.
LikeLike
Ah well, thought I’d ask π
LikeLike
π I love a guy willing to ask.
LikeLike
π
LikeLike
You walk a prickly path Audrey.
LikeLike
You’re welcome to join me, Michael. π
LikeLike
LikeLike
Haha. What a great face…
LikeLike
*laughs and then stops* *gives Audith a severe professorish look that only scares pens and such* Wellβ¦what a hike! Was Mr. Warrior along?
LikeLike
*hides* I know. I should be put in time out, huh? See? You can’t even tell me what it is…I thought you of all people could help me out, Duke. It was interesting, for sure. Yes, I had a gaggle of children with me that morning. The nephews, as well. We explored and then ran a lot.
LikeLike
Well, I have no idea what it is, really. Noβ¦not time out! If I was there, I’d have had to crush them or pull them out. That’s how I always treat mushrooms, you know.
LikeLike
Mushrooms of some sort, for sure. Wish a brown slime on top. It was hard not to crush them when walking. They were everywhere…I would have never touched those. Pull them out!? Yucketh!!!
LikeLike
Yes, I do know what you mean. They’reβ¦odd! What did Mr. Warrior think?
LikeLike
He rolled his eyes at me and then said, ” Really?! How inappropriate. ” Clearly he’s surpassed me in grown up behavior.
LikeLike
*laughing lots and lots and lots* That’s so priceless! I would have been laughing.
LikeLike
*laughs with you* I was laughing, Duke. A lot! You would have encouraged him…
LikeLike
Probably so, yes! We’d have hunted for snakes or something.
LikeLike
Umm, no we wouldn’t have done that, for sure! He’d probably love hunting for snakes, however.
LikeLike
Oh, I’m sure you’d have loved it, too!
LikeLike
Hunting for snakes….NOT!
LikeLike
I thought it was a Smurf. *must…refrain…from…laughter…*
LikeLike
Nav!! I found you in my spam folder! How’d you end up there? Anyway, your comment cracks me up. Strange looking Smurf, I’d say. *pre-teen giggles all over again* Weird…so weird. It was like out of a dream or something, I think. LOL I’ve never seen such a mushroom, or….well, mushroom. π
LikeLike
I am right with you and they scare the shit out of me!
LikeLike
Willow! Get back here… or let’s run fast. Yikes! Haha. π
LikeLike
BTW – anyone happen to know what kind of mushrooms these are? Please no responses about Cialishrooms or Viagrafungi.
LikeLike
Great question…no idea. LOL….
LikeLike
If only all armies were so benign – and seeking such fun.
LikeLike
Yes, Shari, if only. π
LikeLike
Had the same reaction looking at a camel’s foot one time.
LikeLike
LOL π Point received. …
LikeLike
LOL
LikeLike
LMAO!! Oh my, that is quite an army π That last picture is just too much for my dirty l’il mind!
LikeLike
Giggles all over again!! π Thank you for making me feel normal. And thanks for the comment! Hi, we’ve never been formally introduced, I’m Aud…Audrey.
LikeLike
Either you are completely normal, or we are both a little crazy – which, if that is the case, it’s good to have company π
Hi Audrey, nice to meet you. I’m Serena, and I have been reading your blog for quite some time.
LikeLike
Nice to finally say hello, Serena.
LikeLike